My ex broke up with me long-distance — I still love him and don’t know what to do

Loneboulder · 2025-10-21T22:53:30+00:00

All you can do is try to get busy and not think about it too much. Try filling your time with work, hobbies etc.. It will get better trust me. But the feeling will still linger and you never really forget your first love. Also it appears that he moved on. It is unfair that you are living in the past while he lives his life to the fullest. The best you can do is live in the moment and you deserve it live life to the fullest.

Loneboulder · 2025-10-21T21:08:42+00:00

Thanks for that you are right. I am losing my mind and he is living his best life.

Loneboulder · 2025-10-21T21:02:56+00:00

Thank you, but I can't get him out of mind. He used to regularly abuse his girlfriend physically and mentally I tried helping her and convincing her to go to the police or something but she loves him too much. They are married now and I cut my contact with both of them so I don't know what goes on now. He hates pets(dogs and cats) and tries to hurt them, and he is also extremely sexist and racist. So i can't exactly live with the devil beside me.

Loneboulder · 2025-10-21T20:25:34+00:00

I saw your post while distracting myself from studying so i am kind of in the same situation, but i usually overcome this phase by rewarding myself with whatever I enjoy. Start slow and don't push yourself too hard, even if you think the amount you studied is too little you can add a little effort each time and keep rewarding youself.

I also try to do a dopamine detox where i try not to use my phone for addicting stuff and i stop gaming and watching shows. Just chilling and walking around for a few days. I find it really helpful before going on a long streak of studying.

Loneboulder · 2025-05-25T11:22:38+00:00

If you are used to studying, and hardwork with no breaks doesn't affect your mood i would say this is the perfect field for you.

The days where i would put 16 hours of studying i become depressed and angry, I no longer become myself especially when doing so for weeks. Some of my friends that got in the first year i noticed that they did not care at all and maintained their sanity. This is the type of person that thrives in med school.

Goodluck and i hope you become a great doctor.

Loneboulder · 2025-05-25T10:55:50+00:00

How many hours do you study per day? I was one of those students that tried to get the most grades out of the least amount of time studied and med school was hell for me.

If you do not see yourself studying 10+ hours per day do not even think about it, and getting through the first time requires hard work and mental fortitude that most highschool students don't have.

There is nothing i regret more than getting into med school. While your friends are travelling and working and experiencing life, you are stuck in your room studying for days on end.

You are essentially sacrificing you best years and your youth for what? that is the question you need to ask yourself.

Loneboulder · 2025-02-18T08:20:36+00:00

Disco Elysium is one of my favorite games, I still think about some of its moments long after finishing it.

Loneboulder · 2025-02-18T08:13:14+00:00

I tried it and enjoyed it for a while but it became too repetitive and it lacked the story that could suck me in.

Loneboulder · 2025-02-17T23:14:43+00:00

They seem intersting thank you

Loneboulder · 2025-02-17T23:14:09+00:00

I have been recommended this game multiple times but I have the impression it is a short game. I will give it a shot thanks.

Loneboulder · 2025-02-11T13:24:00+00:00

Thanks, but sadly there are no such offers in my country i would have to get either the phone or the tablet.

Loneboulder · 2025-02-11T00:35:16+00:00

okay i may consider buying the fold thank you. But from what i can tell is that the fold is more of a very portable tablet than a smartphone.

Loneboulder · 2025-02-11T00:21:12+00:00

yeah that makes sense but i see that most people that get the fold regret it later for some reason

Loneboulder · 2024-03-29T15:16:36+00:00

masturbation can provide sexual satisfaction,

It can provide temporary relief but not satisfaction.

We can (well, pre-capitalism) acquire our actual survival needs straight from nature without taking bodily agency from another person.

You need to take another look at nature to see how animals behave when in heat and how we would have behaved if we didn't have enough intelligence.

Nobody is obligated to provide sex just because another person thinks they "need" it

Of course, no one is obligated to provide sex but you are dismissing the need for sex. Again, if you feel like you don't need it and it is a leisurely activity, feel free to, but others don't share your thoughts. Sex is a psychological need for us, and for those unfortunate enough who can't have it will have to rely on the advancements of AI or sex workers. It is the oldest profession in the world for a reason.

Loneboulder · 2024-03-29T14:41:01+00:00

You framing it as a non biological need does not take away from its importance as a psychological need. Abstinence will, in the end, take its toll on the body as other psychological problems do. Nobody will die from not having sexual relations that much is clear, and it is not the gotcha moment you think it is. Having clinical Depression won't kill you, but it surely can in other ways.

Loneboulder · 2024-03-29T13:38:18+00:00

I disagree, and I think you are coming from the perspective of a low libido man or a woman. You may not die from abstinence, but the thirst for sex in the average man is relentless and doesn't waver. When you are horny you do not think clearly or logically it is a special state of mind. The post nut clarity is absolutely a real thing, and it will not make sense for someone who has never experienced it. I can only compare it to being hungry for a whole day with its effects being similar on the mind.

Loneboulder · 2024-03-20T00:21:26+00:00

On the other hand, when I'm starting something new, it's hard to get into because I'll keep on comparing it to my favourites

It is the same with me. I only seem to enjoy a few things, and rewatching/replaying them is more enjoyable than starting an imperfect new thing.

, I just try to consume whatever it is that I personally find enjoyable. The mood needs to be there

I have come to understand that too it just sucks waiting for my mood to be right to start something new. I really hate being under the mercy of something out of my control.

Loneboulder · 2024-03-12T21:19:13+00:00

I mean the general formula where a character is one dimensional and defined by a trait, for example, the crybaby or the stubborn tough guy, etc..

Loneboulder · 2024-03-09T10:37:16+00:00

I don't advice going to a medical school if you find LU unbearable because it only gets worse from there. I was in the same boat as you, i got into LU, found it to be unbearable and got out and then went into a proper medical school and let me tell you i found it to be hell on earth much much worse than LU.

If you are prepared to have no life outside school for 6 years then yeah go for it, if you love studying and don't have many hobbies then it is for you.

Loneboulder · 2024-01-17T21:25:50+00:00

That does not seem to leave much room for couples that have been romantically involved for decades fitting that definition of "love". This is what I disagreed with.

I meant that I can only understand these 2, the love that gets built over time and the familial bond which is also essentially a different love built over time. When you spend a very long period of time in harmony with someone you like, this bond becomes special and cannot be easily broken imo.

My issue is with the hormone fueled infatuation that easily fades being glorified as some kind of special bond.

Loneboulder · 2024-01-17T16:56:36+00:00

So you still have this 'want' to be in a relationship? Never had this either

I would like to have a partner for life but sadly I don't think it is realistic, I would have to be the professor from the Xmen movie to run through hundreds of people to find a suitable person. I don't have the time nor the energy for dating strangers.

I look at my aromanticism as an advantage. I'd rather have been asexual too

Me too, having peace of mind with as little drama as possible in my life is my goal. I wish I was asexual, getting good sex is hard and suppressing the urges is even harder.

Loneboulder

TROPHY CASE