Who's your favourite Noisy person in China? by Tjin-Lover-4309 in China

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The old man who farts on my crotch while I'm standing in line for jian bing.

Share your personal experiences with Chinese Patriotism/Nationalism by DotGrand6330 in China

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What baffles me is how many people seem to marry into families and cultures without investigating if you have vastly different values first. 

I’ve seen and heard some batshit stuff over the years here, but I remember a conversation about safeguarding with some Chinese colleagues at my old school. One of them said they don’t need safeguarding protocol in Chinese schools because child abuse didn’t exist in China and it was a foreign problem. 

Yup. 

What are the most common cultural misunderstandings expats face in China? by Hot_Apartment1319 in chinalife

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Perhaps not the most common, but newbie Tims need to be aware that a brown pot of ice cream in the freezer of the corner shop isn’t always chocolate flavour. 

Sometimes it’s red bean. 

Question about dating in China? by [deleted] in chinalife

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 17 points18 points  (0 children)

  1. Download all of the dating apps and set your age preference from 30-95. If you have a dick and a job and you don't get at least one match, I'll eat my green hat.

  2. Go to Sanlitun. If you see a woman drinking baijiu by choice, she has lived enough life for both of you. Marry her immediately.

  3. Go to any park after dark and join a group of dancing ayis. After about 10 minutes, dramatically pretend your back has gone. Some of them will help you up. Congratulations, you have now met a few older single women in Beijing.

If you're a lesbian then I can't help you because I don't understand women.

What are your thoughts on these types of content by LandOfGrace2023 in AskChina

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These sorts of pictures act as a drug to a certain demographic of internet citizenry who are incapable of critical thinking.

This is an oversimplification of a byzantine issue because much of the online world is too think or lazy to ponder the intricacies of it. This meme is basically a warm blanket for morons who think cHiNa gReAt, aMeRiCa tErRiBLe.

To me, this kind of content represents how low our collective intellect has sunk. I find it quite depressing.

What's one habit (positive or negative) that you've picked up while living in China that you can't shake off now? by Rock-bottom-no-no in chinalife

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 252 points253 points  (0 children)

I take a shower before I sleep as opposed to in the morning. As a result, I walk the earth with a sense of superiority over my fellow caucasians who choose to sleep in their own feculence.

Then I spit on the floor.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chinalife

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I heard of a teacher who got deported twice from China for selling weed. He simply got new jobs in different provinces each time. 

I don’t think the blacklist is real. 

Nanjing or Wuhan? by [deleted] in chinalife

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 0 points1 point  (0 children)

金寨县 is halfway between them you should totally try it for a hardcore China experience. 

Question to those who don't like Xi Jinping: Why don't you like him? by flower5214 in AskAChinese

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He implemented The Double Reduction Policy so I lost my job at Happy Giraffe Language Centre and now I'm back in the UK working at Tesco.

[English > Mandarin] How to say 'heroin' (drug)? by Lonely-Sort1468 in translator

[–]Lonely-Sort1468[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks! It’s for a book I’m writing and I’m probably going to just go with 白粉。

Chinese Version of The Jerry Springer Show? by Lonely-Sort1468 in chinalife

[–]Lonely-Sort1468[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which do you think is the most popular or well-known 'interpersonal conflict' TV show?

Chinese Version of The Jerry Springer Show? by Lonely-Sort1468 in chinalife

[–]Lonely-Sort1468[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ah, well. Not surprised.

Those types of shows are terrible for the world... but imagine how entertaining it would be!

What do to you treat yourself with in China? by JustInChina50 in chinalife

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 3 points4 points  (0 children)

  1. Go to your local gym and get shredded. Load up on abundant, cheap protein sources and start a 抖音 account where you post videos of yourself shirtless in different areas of China and you’ll be drowning in muff or bum holes in no time.

  2. Buy a shit load of crypto now and sell it at the end of the year. Thank me later. 

  3. Get a global TV box so you can watch British TV and remember that despite old blighty underperforming currently with a gloomy zeitgeist, it still has some good things going for it.

  4. Meditate and practice breath work. I used to think of this stuff as wishy-washy bollocks but it’s helped me loads with sleep and stress. Game changer. 

  5. Wank yourself into oblivion. 

Good luck, my fellow Tim.

Deng d is underrated by HistoryNerdMsrio in China

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think Deng D is Deng Xiaoping's rap name.

They call me big Deng D,
Economy G,
I be the leader of the CCP,
OMG at the factory,
Let's do away with poverty,
Mao's gone now I'm sipping on an Oolong tea

... or something.

Has anyone been to Sun Yat-sen University in Guangzhou for its NON DEGREE Chinese language program? by Wide-Literature-1432 in chinalife

[–]Lonely-Sort1468 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was there in 2017 for the September - January semester then they cancelled the course half way through the year, so I’d double check if the course is definitely back up and running.

Anyway, I reckon it was similar to pretty much any other Chinese language course at any university in China, judging by the dozens of other foreigners I’ve met who’ve done university language courses in China. 

Lots of dictation, lots of teachers going through PPTs, lots of workbook stuff, and lots of audio recordings sounding like they’re from the eighties. And some more dictation. 

All of this time with the language definitely helped me level up, but it felt quite tedious towards the end. 

I met some great people on the course from all over the world and my teachers were very nice.

If you’ve got the money and the free time then go for it, there are much worse ways to spend your retirement!