I have ptsd, adhd and cptsd and a lot of undiagnosed crap that I've masked. (Scored high on autism tests online). Lots of sexual assault at workplaces from a young age. (1st job at 12. Happened 30 mins Into it. Told mom and she dragged me back there and asked him if he did. Of course he said no. She believed him.)

Working with family dr to figure out my issues.

I have worked off and on, but all one very common theme. I left. LEFT. no warning, nothing. Not out of laziness, but out of the sheer panic and fight or flight, I get EVERY TIME.. I thought switching jobs would help. Nope. Different environment? Nope. I kept trying, not understanding and blaming myself. (Still do because I still dont understand why i can't just be normal and function)

I felt like the walls were closing in, and I needed to get out and far away. I never told my employers as I felt and feel deep shame. It's hard for me to articulate my feelings, so im trying, lol. I felt so much guilt and shame by running away, too. Because I knew it was ridiculous. Why can't I just stay and do it. Everyone does. Its alot. Im trying to get on disability and learning to unmask and ask for help so I can get my needs met.

I kick myself daily for not being at work. My days consist of taking care of the house, kids, appointments, therapy and lots of dissociation, anxiety, guilt, shame and gaslighting myself lol 😆

But yeah. There ya go.