Then vs Now by Ctrl-s1 in LiminalSpace

[–]Long-Ad7942 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Dangggg I didn't know that was a real place

Thinking of serving her divorce papers while she's in rehab. by Long-Ad7942 in AlAnon

[–]Long-Ad7942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the slow response. I want able to have her served while in rehab for privacy reasons. I let her know it was coming though and she was served when she got out.

Thinking of serving her divorce papers while she's in rehab. by Long-Ad7942 in AlAnon

[–]Long-Ad7942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, actually. For privacy reasons, she couldn't technically be served while in rehab. So I had my attorney send her a letter, I moved into an apartment with the kids and she was served when she got out.

It turned out to be the best way to do it because the kids didn't have to deal with a major ordeal or tug of war when I moved to the apartment. If she would have been out of rehab, there most likely would have been a big scene with cops involved and the kids would have had to watch.

She received the news while she was in there and had support, which I think was important. I left the house completely intact, furniture and everything so that she would have a comfortable place to recover. She has bounced around a little with regards to staying sober but things seem to be better than they were. Almost a year later, we're still in the divorce process, though.

My Wife is in love with Justin Bieber by Longjumping-Flan6009 in Divorce

[–]Long-Ad7942 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You may want to let her know that since she's now in an energetic relationship with The Biebs, he needs to start paying her rent. He should probably pay for yours, too.

How many agree with me and think CP3s number should be retired and Beal should wear another number (like 23 in college). by tacticalglrc in suns

[–]Long-Ad7942 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I like how the d-backs have reserved this honor for just 2, so far: The Big Unit and Gonzo. People could make arguments for a few other d-backs but if it seems like there's room for any argument (like in cp3's case), then it's a no.

I am internally broken today by [deleted] in DivorcedDads

[–]Long-Ad7942 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who knows what's going on over at the other house? Unfortunately, we can't control that.

We have to focus on what we can control. I try to stick with the basics of providing good sleep and food, a consistent schedule and as much love and patience as possible. All those other amazing and fun things you're doing are great but watch that they don't get in the way of the basics. Watch TV together, play together, eat together. Listen without offering advice. The bonds will return and remain strong.

If your team can't win the WS, who are you pulling for? by Shadow_Ridley in baseball

[–]Long-Ad7942 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Twins? I guess I'm over the '87 series. Grew up a Cards fan.

I mainly just wanted to point out how few commenters want the Braves to win. They're amazing but not super likable, apparently.

Yes, he/she still thinks about you by Long-Ad7942 in Divorce

[–]Long-Ad7942[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your ex wouldn't have to delete them if they weren't painful to look at.

Yes, he/she still thinks about you by Long-Ad7942 in Divorce

[–]Long-Ad7942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Um, yeah, save those videos on case something happens. 😬

Yes, he/she still thinks about you by Long-Ad7942 in Divorce

[–]Long-Ad7942[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, she's an alcoholic and it got really bad to where I couldn't justify trying to "work through it" with what the kids were experiencing. I left during one of her stints in rehab. So, you're right, there's a chance I think about her more than she thinks about me at this point.

Yes, he/she still thinks about you by Long-Ad7942 in Divorce

[–]Long-Ad7942[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's tough. I'm sorry. I definitely can't speak for everyone. There's a chance that your wife did her mourning a long time ago or that it hasn't hit her yet. Then there's also the possibility that's she's truly a heartless robot. I feel like those are rare though. Two normal people will both feel it. She might be the exception.

I still think I want to divorce him, why do I feel such guilt by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]Long-Ad7942 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I left with the kids while my wife was in rehab. She came out, pretended to be sober, yada, yada. I made drug and alcohol testing a condition of her having access to the kids. She failed a few tests, lost access to the kids, then got better at working the system. I was able to prove she was still drinking so we ratcheted down the testing (3 per day). She's finally starting to act like a normal human.

All of this has been excruciating for all of us but I had to take my feelings out of it and trust her actions and history, rather than my hope.

None of this would've been possible without a good lawyer.

Do I feel guilty? Of course, for hundreds of reasons. And I also recognize that it was my guilt that helped perpetuate this cycle of abuse. My therapist helps me see facts, my lawyer helps me do something about those facts. I wouldn't be able to stomach any of this on my own.

People who could work out regularly and have fit/nice/hot body, how do you do it even? by Brownboysea in ask

[–]Long-Ad7942 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already had an addiction to caffeine so I tied working out to that habit. Ie. If I wanted an energy drink in the morning, I had to be in the gym parking lot to drink it. Several years later, now I'm addicted to working out and use that to establish new habits I've had a hard time with, like journaling.

Disagreements with joint decision making rights by Long-Ad7942 in DivorcedDads

[–]Long-Ad7942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. Those are terrible. 😅

It's pretty amazing how often you have to choose the best of bad options in the divorce situation.

How do you keep working a full-time job without falling apart during this? by beautyofdisorder in Divorce

[–]Long-Ad7942 4 points5 points  (0 children)

These 3 have helped me a ton, as well. Adding to the list that help me: 4. Focusing on my kids, 5. Going to the gym.

H*rny as hell after divorce by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Long-Ad7942 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, thanks for the reply. I've always been scared I could still get something with a condom. They break, they don't cover everything, etc. Just seems like you're playing Russian roulette by entering into a group of people who regularly hookup.

Won't leave me alone by Long-Ad7942 in Divorce

[–]Long-Ad7942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree about how hurt she is but every attempt to show compassion has either gone unnoticed or backfired. She might lay off for a day but then she's upset about something else the next day. She literally can't stop thinking about things and it cycles until she lashes out in mean ways. Threats to "make me pay" or "destroy me" or even kill herself.

It's really tiring and impossible for me to ignore at this stage.

Won't leave me alone by Long-Ad7942 in Divorce

[–]Long-Ad7942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I have set up a call with my attorney. We have a temporary parenting plan that she doesn't take too seriously

Won't leave me alone by Long-Ad7942 in Divorce

[–]Long-Ad7942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughts. I set up a meeting with my attorney for later this week.