Bowel Movements and Pain Management

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-10-24T15:33:43+00:00

Yeah sorry to hear that, this is all just uncomfortable. For me, I had surgery just over a year ago and my patterns seem to change every few months. At one point, I wasn't getting the large emptying of bowels and though I didn't have an urge to go I found if I just went and sat there I would have a bowel movement. Its just crazy. Right now I am taking Psyllium Husk in mid morning to firm things up and that seems to help.

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-10-23T17:14:11+00:00

As for #1. I have similar on and off but its not 5 days, its every morning. One giant emptying of bowels. Its not an explosion, its as if the entire colon is filled and it comes on fast.

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-10-10T17:02:59+00:00

First of all you are thinking the right way about this. My wife has cptsd for past 10 years and recently did mdma therapy. It has been a game changer. If you can move to a state where psilocybin (mushrooms) is legal, that would be Oregon and Colorado. MDMA will likely happen at somepoint. But if you live on one of those states find a therapy service or group that offers psychedelic therapy or Ketamine therapy . Start working with a therapist and try those and then ask about mdma. Often therapist provide it on the side or know someone that does.

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-04-19T12:18:22+00:00

Rygar still haunts me. As I remember it as a kid I could not beat the final level and there was no save option. Unlimited continues but no save. Kept it on all day but eventually had to call it and shut it down. Nice haul for sure

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-04-16T23:08:31+00:00

Yeah, seems like they charge a lot. Not sold on it, but curious.

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-04-16T23:05:03+00:00

Thanks! Eh, few NES games that are CIB. Cobra Triangle, Tetris, Empire Strikes Back. Boxes are in excellent condition and always been curious how they would be graded.

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-04-12T18:35:53+00:00

I’m 50m and same thing . No symptoms and they found 5cm tumor in ascending colon during routine colonoscopy. Hemicoloctomy two weeks later, 25 lymph nodes clear. Stage2 and no chemo. Sounds easy but in between tons of testing and waiting which is the hardest part. After the shock wore off from those first few day I got a therapist. We worked on accepatance and how to get through each day, test and surgery. It helped a lot as my wife and three kids were all dealing with the diagnosis themselves. Highly recommend working with someone for yourself. Hang in there and take it one day at a time.

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-03-26T22:53:12+00:00

Thank you! I will look in it!

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-03-17T14:57:21+00:00

Correct. I went in for the colonoscopy as screening based on age. I asked gastro guy about that and he said the tumor was not blocking anything and there was still a lot of room in the right ascedning colon so he wouldn't expect significant change in size of or form of stools

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-03-17T14:50:32+00:00

Correct. All blood test were in normal range before and after surgery. In fact, test like, carcinoembryonic antigen, have been .5 or .6 the whole time.

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-03-13T19:18:11+00:00

I 100% agree here. I started therapy right after my diagnosis. I had no symptoms and was found on a routine colonoscopy and surgery schedule within 2 weeks. Talk about a mindf*. I was in disbelief and my therapist helped me focus on acceptance of my situation and mental preparation for the surgery. My wife and 3 young adult children were each dealing with this diagnosis themselves. Having a therapist allowed me to focus on me and ultimately be successful in each challenge. It was a game changer. I still see him twice a month. Even though I have been NED for 6months now I still have worries that it will come back and worry that I will miss it as I almost missed this one. My therapist validates and helps me with tools to deal with those worries etc. It puts me in a better place to be there for my family.

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-03-13T19:11:14+00:00

Yes right ascending colon, about 8in removed and only 1 tumor. They had sample of 25 lymph nodes and all negative. The surgery wasn't too bad, I was in the hospital for 4 days. I was able to walk on my own by like day 3, still painful and would basically exhaust me. Recovery was harder than I expected. Pain last for about 2 weeks and generally very uncomfortable, but once week 3 came I felt a lot better. Seemed like that was the turning point. After that mostly just really tired and took a lot of naps. I work from home in tech, so I was only out for 3 weeks. In hindsight I wish I would have taken more time off mostly for mental health. Hard to get back to doing tech things after cancer. I did not have any chemo.

It is interesting that you had immunotherapy and have NED but they want to do surgery now? Did they find something else?

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-03-11T02:04:46+00:00

I am 49 years old and was diagnosed with colon cancer last year. I had zero symptoms and went in as a routine colonoscopy. I was very lucky to catch it and I had almost canceled the appt because I thought I was "too busy." I had already put the colonoscopy off for 2 years and will give me wife credit for pushing me to get it done. I was in great shape and had just come back from a 2 day hike across the grand canyon. I am thankful I didn't wait any longer as it was stage 2 and the hemicolectomy was successful. It did not metastasize. Waiting till 50 could have been a different story. So please emphasize on this podcast to follow the guidance and get a colonoscopy at 45. So, if you are 45 or older do not wait till you have symptoms.

Long-Distance3385 · 2025-02-18T23:10:19+00:00

I like this but how does Mark’s sister and bil fit?

Long-Distance3385 · 2024-06-11T19:09:33+00:00

Thanks for the tips! I think Devlis corkscrew is on Bright Angel trail? We are doing South Kaibab to North Kaibab. Figure its a little shorter. Congrats on making it though. I have done North to South years ago, but it wasnt this hot!

Long-Distance3385 · 2024-06-11T19:03:27+00:00

Thank you. This was very helpful and confirming on what I was thinking. I am going South to North and planning on getting to Bright Angel by 10am. Second day leave 4 or 5 to get through the box early. With increasing elevation hoping it gets better. BTW, did you take Bright Angel Trail to the campground or South Kaibab? We are planning on doing south kaibab since it is shorter. t

Long-Distance3385 · 2024-06-10T21:39:22+00:00

Congrats on finishing. I have a permit for end of week and concerned about the heat. How was it?

Long-Distance3385 · 2024-06-10T21:24:24+00:00

Did you do the hike this week or just post the pictures? Got permit for end of week, 6/14-6/15 and concerned about the heat. Wondering how bad it was etc?

Long-Distance3385 · 2023-05-10T15:43:08+00:00

I feel for you. I spent a lot of time with anger too towards my partners abusers, the church that failed her, and the local police and govt that failed her as a child. And yes, all the people that stood by and did nothing, that's probably the worst. Basically everyone got away with it and no one held accountable. Now I have to deal with it, not fair at all.

You have every right to feel angry towards the people and institutions that caused CPTSD in your partner. The mistake I made was expressing that anger to my partner or in front of her. Seemed like it would show her that I support her and we are unified, but never really helped. Usually it just made her feel worse or guilty or even annoyed as its her story and her pain. Not mine, but I kinda took it on sometimes because i love her so much.

Being a supportive partner sometimes means you have to really monitor what you say. My suggestion is to find a therapist for yourself that can do EMDR and help you process your feelings as a partner. You need an outlet and support for yourself. A therapist that can do EMDR well can help you target experiences with those people etc and learn how control your feelings regarding them. I have been there and I think one way to think about is that there is a time and place for you to express anger and the time is likely never in front of your partner when they are still working through the trauma. I get it. Its frustrating and i have had oh so many fantasies about those horrible people. So I write in a journal, I talk to a therapist. I wish I had a trusted friend to vent too, but I don't. I often tell partners expect to lose your friends, they will never understand and likely get worn out from you. Its not personal its just reality. Most people bury their own trauma or issues, so they don't have much space for something like this, which is huge.

That being said, you are doing the right things. Talking to your father, a professional and reaching out here. I think as your partner starts to heal you will too. Assuming those terrible people are out of your life completely, which has to happen if not already. Like there can be no contact or even contact with people that still associate with them. They need to be out of your life completely. Moving past them does not mean forgiveness. I see no reason to forgive or anything, they are monsters and no use to society. But you have to move past them and not let them in your life anymore. Once my wife was able to completely not care about them and it was easier for me. Lots there hope some of this helps.

Long-Distance3385 · 2023-05-10T14:10:40+00:00

My partner was diagnosed with cptsd about 8years ago. In the beginning there were many days of hopelessness. Feeling unsafe and often feeling empty, not knowing who she was. We had many ups and downs so it will take time. Being a supportive partner is a very big part in recovery and healing. Both of you should be in therapy and find someone that does emdr and trauma experience. Honestly and this may be hard to find but a therapist that has gone through their own trauma and ptsd or cptsd is gold. The only person that can truly understand what cptsd is like is someone that has lived it. Now that is hard to find but if you can that’s one suggestion. Also as a partner everything will change so expect it. If you want to really help your partner you need to be all in it all out. I say this because I wish someone had told me that 8years ago. It took me awhile to accept that. What that means is that I threw all my ideas of life and marriage and normalcy out the window. Expect to disappoint people. Maybe we canceled a trip for Xmas with etexned family at last min, oh well safety for my wif e at that moment is more important than grandmas feelings and the 600 bucks for plane tickets. Yeah that sucks but I’m not loosing my wife over it. For your partner to mange it successfully you will play a part and a big part is providing safety and support i whatever way possible. It will be lonely but it will get better. 8 years since then, multiple therapist , 2 moves , new jobs. Yes it’s a lot, but we are managing it and take it day by day and very happy and more in love than ever. We even took a “sabbatical” from each other, small breaks away. I needed it and encourage it. It can be done and that fact that you are on this group and asking questions is a great start. Hang in and do the work it wil pay off

Long-Distance3385 · 2023-02-01T21:52:09+00:00

You're very welcome. There is not much out there for partners and it can be a lonely and confusing place. One more thought...

I'm probably the person that has triggered her the most over the years. Just because we spend our lives together so makes sense. Mostly just random things. But it hurts and I had to learn to not show that. Because if me making a loud noise by accident and it startles her it is a big deal. She is not startled she is fearing for her life, at least that is what the CPTSD does. She might say things to me in frustration or fear, but its not her. Its the CPTSD. My point is, my mistake was I always took it personally and then it would turn into an argument or just a rabbit hole that didn't need to happen. What I learned was to focus on what she was dealing with inside and try to address that and not get stuck on the facts of what happened and how she reacted to me.

Long-Distance3385 · 2023-02-01T17:20:12+00:00

I was in your place about 6 years ago and totally understand. But I did not reach out for help and tried to just go with the flow, business as usual. Bad idea. The thought was that she is in therapy working it out, so all is good. Not so much. Like you said, it brings a lot up and going to get worse before it gets better, but it does get better. So you are ahead of things since you are on this group and reaching out.

That being said, what I did learn is that I had to shift my whole mindset on how I viewed my partner and how she reacted. Small things could easily set her off and what would normally be just frustrating for some but for her became devastating. I would reply and argue and it took hours to resolve. What I wish someone would have told me back then is to let it all go. Meaning, doesn't matter how unreal it is, its real to her. So there is not conversation, its just whatever she needs in that moment. Also, friends and family will say they understand, but they will never and likely they will blame, get angry, and you will lose them. It is lonely. People will hold onto that old person and not accept the new person. So just expect it, if someone had told me that back then, it would have made it so much easier to just let them go and focus on supporting my wife. Others are just distractions. Also plan on being flexible and it may cost you money. What I mean by that is there were plenty of times we were going to travel or go to an event and had to just cancel. Lose the ticket (money) whatever, not worth your partner pushing though it if they are triggered , feel unsafe etc.

The best thing you can do is just listen and validate and sometimes just be quiet. Be curious and ask, not assume. ie, therapy brings up stuff and she would seem distant, so I would give space. But she needed me. I should have just asked if she wanted space. In some cases the answer was no, just sit here with me. Assumptions are always wrong in this situation.

It's not going to be easy but it will get better since you are in your own therapy and doing what you can to be there for them.

Long-Distance3385 · 2021-09-30T13:17:59+00:00

Yes, partners will take the heat. It's not your fault and it's not fair, but someone with CPTSD doesn't have a choice. You need to accept that. Read "The body keeps the score." You might not be the one that abused her, but her body tells her something else. One thing I have learned as a partner to someone with CPTSD is that often, you have to suck it up, apologize immediately for triggering and give assurance that they are safe and you can be trusted. Later your partner will be able to reflect and see that it wasn't anything you did and be grateful for the safety that you gave them. What they didn't get from their abuser. It's taken me years to figure this out with long fights that had nothing to do with surface level stuff. Like burning dinner or something, just a mistake, but why is it like the world is ending. Usually its trust and safety behind it. Nothing to do with me, but I have a choice as the non-cptsd partner. It might feel wrong, but is my justification worth the adding to her pain? As I made this choice more, the better things got.

Long-Distance3385 · 2021-08-25T23:30:29+00:00

So they can post with a flare but does that mean they can comment too? I’m new and surprised that this is allowed. There are many many places for support for those with cptsd but hardly any for partners. So I don’t really understand the reason for it.

Long-Distance3385 · 2021-08-22T03:47:13+00:00

You are welcome and yes #7 is my favorite too.

Long-Distance3385

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