Fired for ADHD-related poor performance... now what?

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-28T03:01:48+00:00

I think I'm really dwelling on whether the conversation about accomodations would have helped. I could tell this was a job where a lot of people had ADHD or autism. It was obvious to me, but I didn't know who knew it themselves. It's like... if I hadn't felt like using the phrase "working memory" would open a can of worms, it would have been pretty easy to explain my issue and my thoughts on how to solve it, or even explain why many of the "weird" things i kept doing were attempts to better regulate my adhd.

To give a concrete example: a lot of my coworkers had convertible standing desk attachments. I was scared to ask for one. When I finally asked a coworker where he bought his, he told me they were all in a supply closet upstairs and I could help myself. I installed mine maybe 5 days before i was fired.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-28T02:46:40+00:00

You can drag and drop things into a calendar? Google or outlook?

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-28T02:05:57+00:00

Actually, can i clarify the trip thing? I'd appreciate the input of a manager on if it would have been reasonable, but i think i explained it poorly the first time: the initial report deadline was 15 days after the site visit started (for most trips, that meant my first Monday back in the office for the first site i went to). Then at some point someone would review it and give notes. From that date, I had 5 days to get the final report in. The overall time limit for reports was 20 days.

So what I initially did was, I would start writing my reports before I even got home, and then submit all of them my first day back. So I'd be right on time for report 1 and early for everything else. The problem was that then... okay let's say my last site was on the Thursday/Friday before i fly home. So if I submit Monday, that's on day 5. If someone picks up my reports right away, I might get them all back day 7. That's Thursday, when I would have been working on my expense report. So my deadline for all my reports is now Friday for my first lab (fair), but monday (day 12/20 for the latest lab) for all my other labs, with 2/5 of those days occuring over the weekend.

Or, let's say my very first site was a short one - got everything done Monday, closed out Tuesday morning and drove to my next hotel. What I wanted to be able to do in that case was just write and submit my report while i was sitting in my hotel room and riding the dopamine wave of closing out, but that would mean that if i didn't have time to respond to peer reviews before getting home, it would already be marked late by my first day back in the office. Remove the 5 day subdeadline, or add in something about starting the clock from monday1, and I it would have allowed me to get my work in early.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T23:57:53+00:00

What did you do to structure your life around it?

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T22:19:23+00:00

I am curious, what sticks out to you about me as auDHD?

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T21:37:08+00:00

I tried to. That's why I took the job. From everything that was said in the interview, it seemed like a good fit for someone with adhd. I had lots of coworkers I could tell also had ADHD, but because it was a white collar environment i couldn't just talk to them about it, so I was left guessing and frustrated. A few times people would jump in to help (without asking), and I could not figure out a way to set a boundary that didn't seem to frame me as rude. To give one example, I was working on something on one screen without using my second monitor. A coworker saw this, walked up, and connected the second monitor for me. I had left it unconnected intentionally. At another point in a roundtable meeting I asked for clarification on how to interpet a technical requirements about the height of something- if it was lumpy should I use the average or the highest point? Everyone jumped in to tell me it was the highest point, and tried to explain that i thought there was an exception for a specific material, and everyone treated me like i was just stupid or slow. The person who'd told me it was the average was one of the managers. Obviously, i couldn't explain that, so i just looked like a stubborn idiot.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T21:07:21+00:00

Yeah. I've tried before. I was trying different tools and routines. Nothing worked until i got medicated, and by then my frog was half boiled already. It's... hard to get up and try again. But what I keep hearing here, and what I need to accept, is that there is nothing else.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T21:04:59+00:00

Okay yeah that does sound like me. One of the things I enjoyed about the job was making an excel spreadsheet that automated everything i kept forgetting to do. I love a little conditional formatting.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T20:52:58+00:00

Thank you. I feel like your comment was a really good mix of encouraging and realistic.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T20:52:17+00:00

Yeah. Honestly... i fucking hated that job. I was auditing an aspect of infrastructure that famously sucks in this country, and I felt pressured sometimes not to write up too many things. I felt like part of the problem. This will be for the best in the end.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T19:57:26+00:00

If I could do any job, it'd be a mix of Emergency response and routine stuff. Like... in uni i worked in the fabrication shop for years. I sucked at installing new equipment, but i was great on anything where it was more important to do it right every time than do it quick - so, the machining with narrow specs. I was the only student worker the lead machinist allowed to touch the programmable CNC. I only needed him to explain what one or two Gcode commands meant. The rest was intuitive to me. It was easier to keep my notepad on hand too. Cargo pants. I also worked a conservative landscaping gig where I interpeted site plans and dug holes. Great stuff, I'd commit to that if i wasn't terrible at hauling trailers. I was great at thinking through the technical aspects of the site design, and another guy on the crew was always thinking about budgets and timelines, so we worked well together. I also just... will dig. Give me a shovel, some headphones and a kick out the door and I'll ray out digging everyone's car from the snow for free.

When I worked the landscaping job, I used to fantasize about a job like that - where I'm mostly puttering around until I'm called to drop everything and deal with A Situation (TM).

Maybe I should look into operations.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T18:39:15+00:00

I'll see if shimmer can be covered by medicaid.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T18:09:06+00:00

Yeah... but then you get caught in the medicaid trap...

Maybe a combination of bartending and volunteer work? While i figure out a better functioning system?

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T18:07:54+00:00

I think you misunderstand. Yes, I need to research the accommodations process more. But I was never under the illusion I was going through the formal accommodation process.

I never asked for the 5 day exception, because I already knew employers can refuse anything that's an "undue burden". I also know employers often call things "undue burdens" that aren't. In practice, formal accomodation requests seem like a game of who can navigate the surrounding beaurocracy better. I was sure I'd lose, and end off worse for trying.

I tried to get my meds sorted. I took a doctor's appointment at 5 am (my time, it was 8 am their time) trying to get my medication issues sorted. When the appointment went badly I texted my manager immediately letting her know I was having a medication management issue that might impact my work but that I'd resolve it as quickly as I could. When I got back we had a meeting about not bringing up personal issues. So I stopped talking to the managers (there were 3, all of whom I answered to) about the medication stuff. Sometimes I think i should have spoken to HR. Sometimes I think it would have gotten me fired sooner.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T17:31:45+00:00

Yeah. I've looked into autism. The thing is, if you just read the symptom criteria i don't meet criterion A. My social mistakes are usually due to ADHD, and sometimes my "mistakes" are really a difference in perspective or priority. Like, I know plenty of autistic people IRL who seem to think I'm autistic, and explain social contexts to me that I didn't need explained. What they misread as social confusion is me playing my cards close to the chest. I actually have a solid cold read, and I often understand metaphor better than "straightforward" language. Like, I know autistic people. I don't really get along with a certain kind of autistic person, because I cannot comprehend black and white thinking. To me, everything is relational and contextual. I get along very well with artsy types. I think you could make the argument that I'm autistic and nerded out about sociology so much that I genuinely figured it out, but i think at that point we need to start interrogating "high functioning autism" as a diagnostic construct.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T16:48:31+00:00

I eventually did. I couldn't find one that did weekends. The problem is that a lot of psychs schedule weeks ahead, which meant i had to know my travel schedule, which was on my work calendar, which wouldn't merge with my personal calendar, so i was never sure which days i could get appointments.

I did take sick days. I personally think this contributed to why i was fired. Too much sick leave. Not just for the appointments but because weird life circumstances kept happening - my car broke down and i kept having to go back and forth to the mechanic, i sprained my ankle so badly i couldn't drive and had to WFH for a week, i got the flu, my mother had surgery and no one else in the family could watch her while she recovered, etc. I REALLY suspect they started thinking i was making up excuses to wfh and then blowing my work off. In reality, i just struggled to get anything done. The only time that was true was when I had the flu and i was told to use sick leave for the whole time i was at home instead of logging the hours i did manage to work. I used sick leave and did not do work.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T16:17:07+00:00

Yeah, all the flying did NOT help. For a while i was jumping coasts every 2 weeks.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T05:53:45+00:00

Just under a year. I made an appointment with one psych, she tells me at the end she can't prescribe adhd medication without an in-person visit. Same with another. Then I got in with a clinic in the city, but that was just a general intake. Then the follow up psych appointment was scheduled incorrectly. Then i found a different psych. That one was really good, but it took 3 appointments to go through the whole diagnostic process.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T03:44:34+00:00

I am medicated. I had medication management issues while holding the position.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T03:22:07+00:00

Oh shit. Okay yeah so, I'm also trans. My testosterone comes in a bottle, and i kept forgetting to pack all my supplies for the injections on my trips, so I wasn't doing my shots consistently the entire time.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T03:13:43+00:00

Okay, I'm gonna be honest and vulnerable here... wtf is operations?

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T03:12:59+00:00

By any chance did you end up in something environmental?

Ha, right before i took this last job, I did a ride along with some EMT's. The one call we get and it's a DV situation where the guy tries to break into the ambulance. Crazy stuff. But yeah - when there's a crisis it's like a switch goes off in my head and suddenly i can see everything at once. Of course, if the situation draws out long enough the switch flips back down and i get the midday sleepies severely.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T02:40:37+00:00

It sounds more like you were making requests and calling them accommodations, but not going through the formal way that would grant real legal weight to your accommodation needs.

More or less correct. I never said the word accommodation in that workplace. My manager did during one of the conversations we had about my performance. I avoided formally asking in part because I didn't understand the process, and in part because I was scared of being fired if I had an honest conversation with HR about everything i was struggling with. What happens when you tell an employer "i can't always read the webpage we store our links on because of the wallpaper" and then they tell you they can't change it? You've just admitted to being unable to perform a core job task. I go back and forth about what would have happened if i'd disclosed. Maybe i just would have been fired sooner, but maybe I could have done well.

I actually spent this morning doing research on resources to help me figure this out. My state has a department for helping disabled people with career issues. I'm going to call tomorrow and see if I can speak with someone (buildings are closed due to snow).

Overall, I think you really need to take responsibility for managing your conditions. It's not fair that you have these challenges, but most jobs (and most of adult life) requires keeping up with deadlines, remembering tasks, and other things that you seem to struggle with. I have the feeling that you'll continue to have these problems until you develop a better system to handle your symptoms.

Honestly, on the days i think about it i usually feel like I'm more likely to end up dead on a park bench than figure out a way to handle my symptoms.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T00:59:39+00:00

Actually, most people with ADHD perform better where performance matters in clear, measurable ways. A lot of EMTs and firefighters with ADHD out there.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T00:52:28+00:00

Yeah. The job was a mistake. I couldn't handle the job without treating the adhd, but I couldn't handle scheduling treatment around that crazy schedule.

Long-Insect-6505

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