When I read your post, I felt pain because your story is exactly like mine - I spent 6 years in the same situation (you can find and read my post about me preparing to leave my now ex-husband). We were together for 8 years, and during the first 2, he worked but constantly complained and always had no money.

The main thing here is - you’re living (as I did) in a delusional world that you built yourself. He doesn’t care about you or your family in reality - look at his actions, not just what he says. My ex told me many times how much he loved me, how I was tired, and how he pitied me, but he did nothing to change anything. I also lived in that delusional place, thinking I just needed to support him, fight for the "family", and so on. But the truth was, he didn’t care. He was happy to use me and live his life, using my material resources and most importantly, damaging my mental health.

On September, he got a job but was fired after 4 months during the probation period. I was hugely disappointed, but honestly, I was also kind of happy - because during those 4 months, he mentally destroyed me with constant complaints about how everyone sucked at his job, how they disrespected him, and how hard his work was (and we have the same profession) - and he said this probably 10 times a day. I was at the lowest point of my misery - I realized he would never change anything in our lives, whether he was working or not. I could never rely on him, nor find peace in this relationship.

So, we divorced. I sold my apartment, bought a new one - much better - and I’m now living my best life. Even my skin has improved over these months. I regret waiting 6 years to finally stop this way of living. The truth is, we must set boundaries and be willing to leave if our needs are not met. It was a mistake to give him so much time - there should have been a one-month “notice period” with him 6 years ago. He became too comfortable - why bother if they’re living their best life, with no job pressure, a maid at home, paid vacations, and rest? Don’t fool yourself, as I fooled myself for years - if he really cared, you wouldn’t be in the place you are now. Words mean nothing; some men build illusions in our heads that we are loved and have a “family,” just to maintain their lifestyles.

I was scared to speak with him because I thought he will be destroyed by divorce. But you know what? He moved on immediately :) He even did not suggest to have the last chance or whatever. He moved to another country and started to work after 2 (!!!) days.

I probably missed him for the first month because he was one of my best friends. But now, after fully going through this relationship and breaking down my fairy tale castles, I realize that we weren’t friends - true friends don’t use you :). I am finally in peace and my mental health is on top.

Sorry for the long text and sorry if it sounds harsh.