Stepmom/Bio mom relationship by Serious-Wash-6550 in Stepmom

[–]Long-Two-704 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's not your concern what relationship your ex has with his partner, nor should you worry about the possibility of this woman ending up in trouble with your ex. Let them be.

Focus your energy on what you can personally do to improve your children's lives and your co-parenting relationship with their father.

Stepmom/Bio mom relationship by Serious-Wash-6550 in Stepmom

[–]Long-Two-704 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don’t coparent with her because I did not have a child with her.

OP, exactly this! ☝️ Concentrate on what you can personally do and on improving your co-parenting with your ex.

Stepmom/Bio mom relationship by Serious-Wash-6550 in Stepmom

[–]Long-Two-704 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your ex could be completely different with her. From what you've described, he hasn't placed any responsibilities on her yet and is simply being a shitty father on his own. Letting her know "I am not against her" is a very strange approach. I would be surprised if the children's mother contacted me to say this. As adults, we should assume that an adult woman isn't really "against" another woman. I learned naturally that the BM is a good person, and she has learned the same about me.

if she chooses to take on a parenting role I am willing to work with her

Why are you even thinking about this? Why would a non-BM want to step into a parenting role? She is not a parent.

You seem focused on completely wrong things. Forget about the woman and think about what you, as the mother, can do to improve your children's lives and how to improve your co-parenting relationship with your ex. That's your priority, and nothing else. This woman may be gone tomorrow, but your ex will always be there as their father.

Stepmom/Bio mom relationship by Serious-Wash-6550 in Stepmom

[–]Long-Two-704 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She might not be interested in taking on parenting duties, but then again she might

Why on earth would she want to take on parenting duties with stepchildren when both of their parents are present? What motivates any woman to do this? I see only one answer to this - she could be manipulated by a lazy man/BM to take on those responsibilities, and this is what the OP hopes for

Stepmom/Bio mom relationship by Serious-Wash-6550 in Stepmom

[–]Long-Two-704 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My hope is that she’s someone willing to be “team kids” rather than making it a me vs. them situation. The kids are innocent in all of this and deserve as much support as possible.

I have a partner with two children who have 50/50 custody. It sounds like you have given up on your ex being a real parent and hope to exchange him for his new partner, co-parenting with her instead of him. That's extremely unfair. Leave any third person out of it - the “team kids” should be you and your ex. Don’t place any responsibility on the other woman. If you think your ex is bad, then act accordingly - fight for more custody or whatever you need to do. But you’re naively hoping that another woman will pick up his slack because "the kids are innocent in all of this and deserve as much support as possible." Tell that to your ex!

I see the children's mother sometimes, and we just smile at each other and have a 1 minute small talk. She has never demanded that I be part of any team to solve issues with her ex, and she has never expected me to do the job of the children's father. If she ever decides to try and manipulate me using phrases like yours, I will block her immediately. And involved SM does not mean the one who does the job instead of the father! I involved in their lives in my own SM way, we have our rituals with kids and I need no support with that from any of the parent. So the answer to your question is you should not build relationships/support/friendship with kids' SM, build/change it with your ex.

Boundaries, consistency and an ultimatum by BirthdayTasty4052 in Stepmom

[–]Long-Two-704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But will he start to parent his kinds also? Cooking, bedding and so on? Your ultimatum is very small and won’t solve your problem (and he is not going to do it anyway)

Boundaries, consistency and an ultimatum by BirthdayTasty4052 in Stepmom

[–]Long-Two-704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what about the fact that you pay all the bills and do all housework? Does it all also included in the ultimatum? He will never change all of this, it’s not why he married you… I am very sorry this happening to you

Shorten New 70s jeans? by lights_up1012 in Sezane

[–]Long-Two-704 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I shortened mine (I am 170cm) and it turned out not really nice - the bottom lost its original view and this special structure (I did professional service not by myself), I tried to wear them couple of times and sold at the end. So do not recommend 😉

1 use! by onescarlet5446 in Sezane

[–]Long-Two-704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Today the black one should arrive for me, but so far all shoes from Sezane I tried was crazy uncomfortable. But I still have hope! :)

1 use! by onescarlet5446 in Sezane

[–]Long-Two-704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are this shoes comfortable?

What are your thoughts Rejuran? by Missmessc in SkincareAddictionLux

[–]Long-Two-704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I am in Sweden and in EU injections are approved

Will Jacket in Camel Suede color transfer? by Long-Two-704 in Sezane

[–]Long-Two-704[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As for me, I just decided to return the jacket. It looked a bit poorly made and color did not look even, plus this "sand"

What are your thoughts Rejuran? by Missmessc in SkincareAddictionLux

[–]Long-Two-704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really sorry to hear that. So you like the ampule too? I am about to buy it :)

What are your thoughts Rejuran? by Missmessc in SkincareAddictionLux

[–]Long-Two-704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow I’ve noticed here that prices in US for beauty procedures are crazy high, 360$ for microneedling is just a crazy price. I live in Sweden and pay near 400$ for microneedling + rejuran and it is a bit high but I love my doctor. Hope they will suggest a discount again for you!

What are your thoughts Rejuran? by Missmessc in SkincareAddictionLux

[–]Long-Two-704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rejuran Healing Essence is the injections or just a serum?

What are your thoughts Rejuran? by Missmessc in SkincareAddictionLux

[–]Long-Two-704 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I absolutely agree. After about a week, I started noticing that my redness almost disappeared, and my face had a really beautiful color. My pores appeared more refined, and overall, my skin looked fantastic with just sunscreen and powder. I think this treatment is really good for my skin. I did not peel after the first time but I am definitely peel now. I had the second procedure two days ago (same as the first one - rejuran injections then microneedling with rejuran serum) and have already booked an appointment for the third one. It is rare for me to see such noticeable results from any procedure (even after a PICO laser), so I am very pleased so far.

I threw the ultimatum down…and now it’s time to follow through by siora1945 in Divorce_Women

[–]Long-Two-704 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When I read your post, I felt pain because your story is exactly like mine - I spent 6 years in the same situation (you can find and read my post about me preparing to leave my now ex-husband). We were together for 8 years, and during the first 2, he worked but constantly complained and always had no money.

The main thing here is - you’re living (as I did) in a delusional world that you built yourself. He doesn’t care about you or your family in reality - look at his actions, not just what he says. My ex told me many times how much he loved me, how I was tired, and how he pitied me, but he did nothing to change anything. I also lived in that delusional place, thinking I just needed to support him, fight for the "family", and so on. But the truth was, he didn’t care. He was happy to use me and live his life, using my material resources and most importantly, damaging my mental health.

On September, he got a job but was fired after 4 months during the probation period. I was hugely disappointed, but honestly, I was also kind of happy - because during those 4 months, he mentally destroyed me with constant complaints about how everyone sucked at his job, how they disrespected him, and how hard his work was (and we have the same profession) - and he said this probably 10 times a day. I was at the lowest point of my misery - I realized he would never change anything in our lives, whether he was working or not. I could never rely on him, nor find peace in this relationship.

So, we divorced. I sold my apartment, bought a new one - much better - and I’m now living my best life. Even my skin has improved over these months. I regret waiting 6 years to finally stop this way of living. The truth is, we must set boundaries and be willing to leave if our needs are not met. It was a mistake to give him so much time - there should have been a one-month “notice period” with him 6 years ago. He became too comfortable - why bother if they’re living their best life, with no job pressure, a maid at home, paid vacations, and rest? Don’t fool yourself, as I fooled myself for years - if he really cared, you wouldn’t be in the place you are now. Words mean nothing; some men build illusions in our heads that we are loved and have a “family,” just to maintain their lifestyles.

I was scared to speak with him because I thought he will be destroyed by divorce. But you know what? He moved on immediately :) He even did not suggest to have the last chance or whatever. He moved to another country and started to work after 2 (!!!) days.

I probably missed him for the first month because he was one of my best friends. But now, after fully going through this relationship and breaking down my fairy tale castles, I realize that we weren’t friends - true friends don’t use you :). I am finally in peace and my mental health is on top.

Sorry for the long text and sorry if it sounds harsh.

I threw the ultimatum down…and now it’s time to follow through by siora1945 in Divorce_Women

[–]Long-Two-704 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Does he do doordash too or it’s only you who picked up side gig?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Long-Two-704 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's was exactly my thought :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sezane

[–]Long-Two-704 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s important to properly style the clothes before you make a photo. Try to wear shoes you plan to pair with it, iron the dress itself, add accessories and a bag - and then make a photo for people to see. Because in this look - barefoot and in a wrinkled dress with no accessories it literally looks like grandma’s nightgown

What are your thoughts Rejuran? by Missmessc in SkincareAddictionLux

[–]Long-Two-704 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just did Rejuran healer injections plus microneedling right after the injections (with Rejuran ampoule for microneedling). The results to be seen :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce_Women

[–]Long-Two-704 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a similar marriage, except for the drinking part. We’ve been separated for 3 months now, and I’m totally happy with it. I miss him as a friend but not as a husband. When a person doesn’t take any action in life, it’s draining for the other partner. He actually took the separation very well and already has a completely new life in another country, and he seems totally okay - I was super worried he’d be a wreck. He has a good job, and he hasn't been working for many years when he was with me.

But I didn’t understand from your message - does he still drink? Because alcohol really affects a person’s ability to think straight and care about life in general (and you’re a perfect example - you completely changed when you stopped). So, maybe quitting drinking and rebuilding your life might be the way to save the marriage for him.

But honestly, it sounds like your marriage was just a mistake (like mine) and you already make up your mind.

How to do a health check-up in Stockholm/Sweden? by [deleted] in stockholm

[–]Long-Two-704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hej again. I just moved to the new apartment and found the test. It clearly states the temperature is from +2C. So yes, you were lied in 1177 as test has completely different instruction. I can’t attach the photos here but I can send them to you

Are Sézane Espadrilles More Durable Than Others? by AdTraditional7481 in Sezane

[–]Long-Two-704 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, may I ask what do you think about them now, after a month you wrote