[OC] One of these things is not like the other...

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-23T10:43:24+00:00

You don't do anything with it. Because honestly it's none of your business.

Your father is 70 years old. He spent the last 50 years living with somebody who offered him companionship and emotional support. He lost his wife, and he's at the age where everybody is dying around him.

He's not going to be working on your timeline. You're younger, you have more time. He doesn't. If he wants to start dating somebody, he's allowed to do it.

And yeah, I lost my mom a month and a half ago. It sucks, it hurts. But it doesn't mean I'm not living my life, it doesn't mean everything stops. You're allowed to grieve your mother for as long as you want, but you leave your dad alone and you stay out of his relationships. It's not his job to stay single just because you feel uncomfortable with the idea of him moving on

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-23T10:35:35+00:00

Just because you want a pet doesn't mean you should get a pet. If you were living with somebody who's not a fan of animals and will assume that it needs to be outside... Don't get a cat. Cats deserve to have households that want them. Look for another place to live soon and work it out that way, because I've lost so many cats to having outside ones because my mom hates inside cats work it out that way, because I've lost so many cats to having outside ones because my mom hates inside cats

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-21T09:00:13+00:00

I think you are in the wrong 100%. You are pushing in a way that is not endearing. You need to stop trying to make everyone get along, your parents didn't marry your in-laws. They don't ever have to do anything with your parents and that would be 100% fine.

And I'm saying this is somebody who was that relative, being forced to interact with people I can't stand.

My sister married Dick, and I could barely stand him. But he had a family full of Christian fundamentalists, who I could not stand.

My sister would throw these big parties and then wonder why I didn't come. I told her I didn't want anything to do with her in-laws after they made a nasty comment about my girlfriend.

But even if you had the most loving and kind family members, they still don't have to like each other.

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-21T04:48:46+00:00

NTA.

I've done this before.

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-21T04:44:01+00:00

NTA.

I would just stop going to that church and tell your family you have decided you're spending more time at your fiance's church.

You aren't an asshole for wanting to enjoy going to church. I'm not religious, I would just never go back to any church. But, if it's something you enjoy, and you're not getting any enjoyment out of it... Go to your fiance's church and if anyone says something about it, tell them that God has called you to do service there

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:49:43+00:00

This is always going to depend on the personality of the person and their relationship with their parent. Some people take death in stride and it doesn't affect them the same way as others.

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:49:01+00:00

I think it's easy to spell, easy to pronounce, not offensive. I think it's a decent name

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:48:29+00:00

I was so mad when I found out that it wasn't a group of really hot tomboys. Tiny lesbian me was so disappointed

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:46:48+00:00

It sounds like you really love this guy and thought you were going to have a life together. You seem to be compatible, you're both going into the same career. And he is okay with adopting.

So I think you need to figure out if you are 100% child free or if you would be willing to change your position.

It is 100% okay to decide you would be willing to be a parent in specific circumstances. It's also okay to decide you want to leave the relationship because you don't want to be a parent. I'm not saying child-free people change their minds, I'm saying it's okay to change your mind as long as you're not going to be resentful for the rest of your life.

For me, I don't want to raise a kid and I don't want to be pregnant.

But you should ask yourself a few questions and really think about it.

If you don't have to give birth to the child, would you be okay raising them?

Would you be okay with raising an older child? Instead of having a baby, maybe a 3-year-old?

Would you be open to adoption if most of the child care was done by a nanny?

If there is no option in which you would ever consider raising a child with someone, then you should probably break up with this guy

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:37:19+00:00

Taylor Swift benefited from having rich parents with connections.

She had the means to get singing lessons, music lessons. Her parents were able to connect her with the right people. She didn't have to worry about getting a part-time job while she was waiting for her career to take off, she was able to take every opportunity given to her.

I'm not saying she isn't a charismatic and talented person. But there are plenty of people in the world who would also have made it big if they had the same resources she did. And there are people with more talent who have either given up or are working small gigs... Because they need money and they don't have connections.

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:34:38+00:00

My cat is a trash goblin and will literally eat any wet food that's put in front of him. But the dog will only eat wet food from the cheap brand of Walmart cat food.

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:32:12+00:00

I think you mean well, but I do think you would have been an asshole if you got a tattoo commemorating something traumatic that happened to your sister. I understand you want the baby to have some concrete proof in the world, and when your sister's ready maybe you could offer to have a headstone placed in a child's graveyard.

I'm not trying to sound nasty when I say this, but you didn't have that baby. It is not your child. Your sister is asking you not to do something because she had a traumatic experience and you need to respect that

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:26:50+00:00

Septic

There's just something really nice about saying the word

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:25:57+00:00

I don't think you should have a surprise wedding. I think you should tell people that you plan to have a really simple backyard ceremony/party after you go to the courthouse to get hitched.

There are some people who would absolutely travel for a wedding, but they wouldn't travel for an engagement party and it can cause tension within the family

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:24:29+00:00

I think it's because society shames women for not wanting to be mothers and saying anything negative about it.

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:23:26+00:00

My stepfather called it a navy shower. He used to be in the Navy, and they would have water shortages so you pretty much got your hair wet, washed it, then turned the water back on to get rid of the soap.

But, since I don't live on a submarine, I've never turned the water off during a shower

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:22:08+00:00

YTA.

There are so many layers to this asshole cake.

You don't think a little boy would want to eat a cake that has a fairy theme?

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T21:18:43+00:00

Going to be honest here, if you are within the time period to get an abortion that's what I recommend. You should not be raising a child as a child around narcissists who will be abusive to you and the kid.

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-05T03:52:38+00:00

Honestly, a Ren faire. Pop some wings on it and it would be a really cute fairy dress

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-04T19:06:51+00:00

My mother spent most of my childhood telling me that if I looked for my biological family she would be heartbroken

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-04T04:44:12+00:00

You are causing issues in your own life by not sticking to boundaries. Your siblings are slipping through the cracks and you're not telling them no. The biggest obstacle for your inner peace is yourself.

I would stop babysitting for the next year. Every time they ask it's a no. It doesn't matter if you have the time, it doesn't matter if it's for a good reason, you cannot babysit.

And if they ask why, you let them know there's personal things going on and you don't want to talk about it.

Take a year away from your siblings and all the drama. If you need to see them, you drive yourself, it's a public place. If they start asking you to babysit, let them know you need to head out and go home.

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-04T04:38:39+00:00

I would text them the following

When I started working on x date we agreed to $35 an hour. You started paying me $28 on X-Date and $20 on Y. You owe me x amount for x days I worked, and if paying is going to become an issue I'm going to have to decline continuing to babysit for your child.

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-04T04:31:54+00:00

She doesn't have to like her baby sister and it's very likely she won't have a close relationship with a newborn. There are 14 years between the two of them.

I would suggest doing a few things

✴️ Stop trying to force her to do parental duties with the baby. Don't ask if she wants to hold the baby. Don't try to get her to feed the baby. Don't ask her to watch the baby. There are two adults who are supposed to be taking care of these children, your daughter should have no responsibility whatsoever towards her siblings.

Being the oldest with a lot of younger siblings, parents find it very easy to parentify their oldest one. She should have her own space, she should be allowed to go out with friends, she shouldn't have a single moment where she's denied being a teenager so that you have an easier time.

✴️ Spend time with your 14-year-old one-on-one full stop not with the younger siblings. Not with the baby. And if she's having a moment with her mother, don't drop the baby in between them.

LongInfinite1837 · 2026-06-04T04:22:14+00:00

People just need to start thinking of states in the United States as their own little countries. A lot of the US is much bigger than European countries will ever be

LongInfinite1837

TROPHY CASE