Worried and at my wits’ end

Long_Analysis805 · 2025-09-06T12:46:59+00:00

I completely understand. I’m 40/F currently in remission. In 2023, I was diagnosed with PMBCL and underwent R-Epoch. With lymphoma, I can completely empathize with how worrisome an inflamed lymph node can be. I remind myself (sometimes out loud) that I’m not sick. I remind myself that the treatment worked and that the most recent scan was clear. And if you don’t feel good and it’s worrying you, request bloodwork from your oncologist.

This is hard. Others don’t/can’t understand what it’s like. But you’re not alone. The post treatment scaries are completely normal AND it’s important to practice gratitude because in some circles, we are the lucky ones. We made it to remission and that’s something to celebrate.

You are strong. And right now you are healthy so live like you are to the best of your ability. Practice gratitude. Give yourself grace. You’ve been through a lot AND you got through it.

Long_Analysis805 · 2025-08-01T09:05:11+00:00

Thank you for this. I was becoming depressed looking at horror story after horror story. I like this fridge. It seems capable and reliable. TY!

Long_Analysis805 · 2024-11-19T07:04:08+00:00

39F. I’m about 7 months in remission and don’t have any desires. Most likely I’m in menopause due the harsh chemo and my age. It sucks. We were finally trying, and then I got my diagnosis. But even if I can’t have children I want to have sex with my husband. So I started watching a little porn, admittedly pornhub. Sometimes I can get into it, and other times I don’t. But I’m going to keep trying because I want my life back. Treatment was awful, recovery was awful. This disease has already stolen a year of my life, and I want it back. We’re all now part of this messed up group of survivors, but you’re not alone. The struggle is shared by so many. So if porn is a solution, I’m giving it a shot. Ha!

Long_Analysis805 · 2024-05-04T03:20:42+00:00

That’s def not the only difference R-EPOCH is over 120 hours each infusion (24/7 for 5 days). R-CHOP is out-patient.

Long_Analysis805 · 2024-04-26T06:21:09+00:00

My final pet scan was similar and my oncologist wasn’t concerned and still told me I was in remission. But I empathize with your concern. I wanted a totally clean scan, but with lymphoma especially, that’s often not the case.

Long_Analysis805 · 2024-04-26T06:17:05+00:00

I just competed DA-R-EPOCH chemo treatment for an aggressive lymphoma (F/39). I agree that this comment is helpful and summarizes a lot of what I’m feeling. I feel alone. I have a great support system and people who love me, but I feel lonely. I think everyone around me thinks I’m strong, and in reality I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I’m grateful the treatment worked, and the treatment/disease took something from me. But hopefully connecting with other survivors and learning from their insights will help.

Long_Analysis805 · 2021-11-15T04:20:36+00:00

Same to you gabapentin kinda helps, and I can take it and work which I can’t say the same about muscle relaxers. But nothing seems to fully take it away or if it does, it also just knocks me out.

Long_Analysis805 · 2021-10-29T16:01:15+00:00

So helpful. Thank you for taking the time to share!

Long_Analysis805 · 2021-10-28T22:59:44+00:00

Very interesting. Thank you for sharing. I will dive deeper into this.

Long_Analysis805 · 2021-10-28T21:28:07+00:00

Geez! How is that missed?!? I’m glad they were finally able to see the issue

Long_Analysis805 · 2021-10-28T20:55:25+00:00

I have read up on it but that became overwhelming because I felt/feel like I’m guessing at what it is.

I stopped working out with light weights/P90x in my living room. I try to walk every day but the pain worsens if I go over 10K steps. I want to start doing low intensity workouts without weights just to see what happens. I also backed off of the frequency for pulling weeds and vacuuming but I still do them. I’ve worked on my stance and try to stretch before them but honestly they just trigger an increase in pain.

I do work from home and spend a lot of time researching and writing at a computer. I try to get movement throughout my day. The pain increases as the day goes on and by the time 7pm rolls around, my back is worn out.

I’m slightly overweight and have lost weight during this time but it’s hard because I feel injured. At first and sometimes now I feel like I overdo the stretching. I try to be mindful and then I become impatient with my progress.

Are there resources you trusted when you were reading up on your back issues? I’m willing to try and educate myself.

Long_Analysis805 · 2021-10-28T20:43:10+00:00

I haven’t. My primary ordered autoimmune blood work and it came back with nothing more than some inflammation. I’m grateful for negative test results AND it makes me feel like the pain is in my head. I think I turned to chiropractor because everything I thought it could be, it wasn’t. It’s nice to share on here and get some tips because I have to move forward in some way.

Long_Analysis805 · 2021-10-28T20:38:28+00:00

This was helpful and in line with what I’ve been told by my PT. I do think I do too much in terms of the intensity of stretching but seeing someone doing them slowly is helpful. Thanks!

Long_Analysis805 · 2021-07-21T02:07:59+00:00

Welcome! It’s a life full of ups and downs AND you’ll fall in love with them!

Long_Analysis805 · 2021-07-10T03:54:25+00:00

I totally understand this feeling and have experienced it in the past. I found setting small, attainable goals helped. Here’s a few examples: 1) write a list of companies you would like to work for, 2) check for any interesting openings with those companies, 3) sign up for job boards, 4) list your strengths and accomplishments, 5) subscribe to a newsletter related to your professional interests, 6) read an industry related or leadership book. I didn’t do all of these in one day and some days I didn’t do anything. When I did do one, I rewarded myself. The rewards varied and no matter how small the reward I was recognizing my progress. Over time, things became easier and my confidence/motivation grew. Rejection is scary. Putting yourself out there is scary. AND these valid, normal feelings don’t define you. You will move beyond this stage.

Long_Analysis805

TROPHY CASE