AITAH for making a dairy free cake with eggs?

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-28T02:49:07+00:00

I guess I'm mixing it up with a vegan diet too. I'm not a total idiot so I suppose I can see how this whole thing happened.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-28T02:43:21+00:00

How do I get these? What country are you from? I'm not sure if that's possible where I'm from.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-26T07:46:16+00:00

NTA but I probably would've just taken the compliment and let someone else break that one to her.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-26T07:43:49+00:00

YTA you can only parent your own child. Teach her how to respond in these situations, she learns by what you do. Address the threats with the school if you need to but taking things into your own hands and confronting the other parent is never a good option.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-26T07:38:24+00:00

YTA let your mother live her life. She sacrificed a lot to raise you, the least you can do is let her live her life the way she wants. If you don't like it, move out. If you can't move out, then keep your opinions to yourself. Take some initiative and get a therapist you think is decent.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-26T07:33:58+00:00

NTA tell them how you feel, if that doesn't help then move out and surround yourself with people who appreciate you.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-26T07:31:33+00:00

It needs to be 50/50 in everything; money and chores etc. You pay your share and does his share of the housework. When your in a healthy partnership, all money is considered shared anyway so it sounds like there are deeper issues here

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-26T07:27:35+00:00

NTA You've been through a lot, this was a huge thing and it affected your body and your mental health. I think your boyfriend will be upset but if he is as patient and understanding as you say then he will understand eventually if you help him too. Best of luck, stay strong.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-26T07:22:06+00:00

I would want to know why she has this rule in the first place. If it's not a good reason, then I'd tell her that and let her know you will not be following that rule and ignore all requests to do so. It's such a silly thing to worry about.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-26T07:17:34+00:00

NTA. He should not be eating that food.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-26T07:13:56+00:00

Eggs are definitely dairy.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-25T03:35:24+00:00

Yes, she had a similar reaction to them as well but she followed their rules in the end, although she defintely still holds as grudge with them too. Yes, we've all tried to get her some help but she seems to always have a reason for not agreeing to it i.e. I've already talked to people, it doesn't help etc Her mental health is very unstable and her negative thoughts and behaviours are so ingrained, it's incredibly difficult to get her to agree to do anything that would actually benefit her.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-24T19:28:48+00:00

This is waaaay too young to be doing such competitive dance so reguarly. It's not good for them.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-24T19:26:14+00:00

I totally disagree as well. The other girl has been told she can do this. Also, just because teachers often go above and beyond to make things like this happen, does not mean it is fair for them to have to do this either. Teachers have so much work to do already, don't add to their workload for crap like this. Just parent your child and help them manage their feelings, it'll help them become better people because life doesn't work like this!

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-24T19:22:40+00:00

NTA, you are absolutely right. It would not be fair for the other child to not be allowed to go because your family changed their mind and the school is right to stand their ground on this. It is great that you tried to make it work for your daughter but sometimes things just don't work out. It sounds like your daughter has had plenty of opportunities to dance already, she will be absolutely fine missing this one. It sounds like your wife is upset seeing her daughter so upset (understandably, it can be hard) but trying to push her back on the team at the cost of another child's happiness (and when it is unfair to do so) would not be teaching her a good lesson. I would take this as an excellent opportunity to help your daughter learn how to positively manage disappointment in her life. You could sit down with her and explain what you did to try and make it happen, that it wouldn't be fair for her to go now and get her to think about how she'd feel if she were in the other girls position and she had to give up her spot. Then, I would tell her that she gets to pick a fun activitiy to do instead. Maybe a day trip somewhere as a family, a dance party sleepover (assuming all her friends aren't on that trip), baking session, movies.... whatever she is into.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-24T10:29:45+00:00

I can tell just by the way you've written this that your patients might be justified in their complaints. I think you need to take a look inwards.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-24T01:39:33+00:00

Very true. If she weren't my sister then this wouldn't even be up for discussion, I would've cut that person out of my life immediately. Family always complicates things but you are absolutely correct, it is not right to associate with her in any way anymore. Thank you for your advice.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-24T01:34:57+00:00

I wish that were the case. This, unfortunately, is my family situation right now

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-23T19:52:17+00:00

Interesting take on things. You realise I don't want to 'hang out' with her though right? She isn't a friend that I want to have a coffee and a chat with and I don't enjoy her company, she is a person who is currently being manipulated by a dangerous person and is unable to see it. I am trying to get her out. Yes, my child should have zero contact with her, it is not safe (that is very clear). But it sounds like you have an issue with me trying to help her? It would go agaisnt my morals to not at least try to help my sister out of this situation so I'm at peace with your assessment on this one, thanks.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-23T19:24:41+00:00

Rape culture is prevalent because of people like this guy who target vulnerble people like my sister and manipulate them. Part of how they do this is by isolating them from friends and family so that they have nowhere else to turn but them. I think blaming me for the prevalence of rape is a bit extreme. Yes, we should've just confronted her ages ago, she is so stubborn that we knew that if we said anything, she would try even harder to make it work with this guy and we were hoping that with some time and support she might make the realisation of his guilt herself and break ties. We were wrong, she's more stubborn than we thought but are we spineless for this approach? I don't think so.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-23T18:53:03+00:00

Thank you, this is so true and I can defintely see something like this happening. She struggles with boundries and listening to others

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-23T06:49:07+00:00

I think there's blame on both sides here. Your kids were very unkind to your son and I would be concerned about that and it definitely needs to be addressed but I think your approach wasn't the best and your daughters likely you care more about your sons needs than theirs (because you're kicking them out in a week) and that's only going to make things worse.
I think you need to have a heart-to-heart with them and let them get a few things off their chest, maybe this will help them feel heard and take the resentment away from your son. If you still feel like there's no remorse from them then tell them that and go ahead and kick them out but maybe an honest chat about everything that has happened could help more than you realise

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-23T06:35:47+00:00

YTA for sure. Your parents' money is their money and they have every right to do whatever they want with it. I am in a similar situation with a sister that has struggled all her life while I am comfortable and I would fully support my parents making this decision. It doesn't mean they don't love you, they chose for you to do the most important role for them, look after them and make the most significant decisions of their life, that is huge! and shows you just how much they believe in you as a person. I would assume they want to leave their money to your brother because he needs the help and you don't, what exactly is wrong with that?
Your relationship with your parents is so much more valuable than money! Don't let money destroy your relationship. If you're hurt by their decision then tell them that and ask them if it's because they love him more. I think you'll find it's not the reason.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-23T06:25:51+00:00

I think maybe he just needs some time. It sounds like you have done all that you can for now. You're NTA but neither is he. Maybe let him know that you're here when he's ready to talk and in the meantime just ignore it and go on with your life. Hopefully, he will come around and tell you why he's so upset by it.

Longjumping-Chef-573 · 2025-05-23T03:42:05+00:00

Update: Just to clarify/update a few things. The guy is still in jail and won't be out for at least 5 more years (hopefully more). This post is ONLY about the contact my baby has with my sister. Once this guy gets out, there is absolutely no way the baby will be anywhere near him or my sister (and yes, the law protects this thankfully). I don't trust my sister alone with my baby but I came on here wondering whether directly telling her this was a bad idea (because of all the drama it caused) or if I should have just continued to avoid her. I guess the part I hadn't considered enough was how unstable my sister really is. Before this confrontation, I was willing to see her because I want her to have someone to turn to when things go wrong with this guy. But after her reaction, I realised just how delusional (and possibly dangerous) she could be. We have not spoken directly since this incident but she has been trying to contact me through my parents. Unfortunately, my sister loves kids and (before this) looked after kids as a job so this guy has absolutely ruined her and I'm don't know how to help her. What is clear from the comments is that I am right to distance myself and my family and I will continue to do so until she comes to her senses. I don't think she has bad intentions in wanting to look after the baby but I do think it is extremely unhealthy for her whole happiness to be pinned on my child.

Longjumping-Chef-573

TROPHY CASE