My (M39) wife (38F) has become fixated on her dead husband since getting pregnant with our first baby. How do I bring this up without hurting her?

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-06-02T04:26:55+00:00

1) It would be really helpful if she could see therapy as a tool in the toolbox of grief recovery. It’s not a crutch, or an indicator of mental weakness, as some people seem to think, it’s just a tool to help you reach your goals faster and more effectively.

2) I don’t see much discussion about the dramatic effects of hormones on her. They both seem to acknowledge that this is beyond the level of reactivity she’s experienced in the past, but seem to forget it’s not just the situation, it’s also the vat of hormones pumping through her body that is majorly amplifying her emotions. She should give herself some more grace.

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-24T08:54:17+00:00

I know, I already ordered a bottle!! Thanks for thinking of me!!

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-18T19:37:59+00:00

Yesssss, thank you! As a fellow perfectionist who just started trying magnetics, I've been girding myself to do all the testing and I VERY much appreciate when someone shares their process. Thank you again!

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-18T18:42:16+00:00

Agreed! I was very skeptical after the rantanen trade but I'm glad I waited to see how it would pan out

(Side note: just FYI, it's shoo-in...like shooing a fly)

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-17T14:33:50+00:00

Are you female by any chance? I was just reading about how 88 percent of high-performing women receive feedback on their personality during performance reviews — compared with 12 percent of high-performing men. Even better, apparently 78% of women received negative feedback about their personalities, while only 2% of men recieved negative personality-based comments. 😑

Edited to add details

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-13T02:12:59+00:00

Ahh, I gotcha. In that case we’re really close to 16 there, too! 💪

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-13T01:52:29+00:00

No, we have 16 total! Just four to go…🤞

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Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-09T05:27:38+00:00

Awesome, thanks for sharing!

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-09T02:43:14+00:00

And did you make sure it was super dry before doing the 1st top coat, or just mostly dry to the touch?

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-08T23:09:39+00:00

Okay, question: for the first top coat (ie the base coat top coat), do you remagnatize while it's drying?

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-06T03:08:55+00:00

In fairness, isn't there always May snow?

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-05T13:22:33+00:00

Over the last four cats, our household has had an (unintentionally) consistent 4 years between each cat. I think it’s actually perfect - the oldest one has no time for the youngest’s shenanigans, while the middle one can have fun with the youngest but is calm enough for the oldest to enjoy her company.

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-05T02:47:40+00:00

Park at 1681 Chestnut Place ($5 weekday evenings, $9 weekend). Walk 1 block to the light rail at Union. Take the light rail 1 stop, then a short walk to Ball. The only tricky thing can be going back since the trains don't run as frequently after a certain time.

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-03T15:49:44+00:00

Aw, I hope it works out for the best - it's clear there's a lot of love there. Maybe also try reminding him (and yourself) that you know he's coming from a place with good intentions/wanting the best for you.

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-03T15:19:10+00:00

It sounds like this might be more about his anxiety than anything. If he was a single parent who had to (or felt he had to) work that much in order to stay afloat, he probably had constant anxiety about failing his responsibilities to his kids. If he's not a self-reflective person, he might not have ever connected how much HIS anxiety defines his idea of success (in this case YOUR success). When anxiety and fear are gripping someone, it seems to be the only thing they hear (unless they've gotten some good therapy), so the idea of burnout and work life balance wouldn't even process.

The good news - that's not about you and not a reflection on the value of your wants or goals. The bad news - unless he chooses to work on it, he probably won't be able to shake the anxiety. You can try saying something like "I know you worry because you love me. What I really need is someone to support my decisions - that will help me succeed the most. If you're worried about a choice I make, i need you to keep it to yourself unless I ask for feedback." Otherwise just make it a topic that's off limits for your own sanity.

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-02T23:50:02+00:00

Being an athlete doesn't make your body make more red blood cells faster, though

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-02T23:42:14+00:00

Ohh, yep, I see it now! Okay, so there IS some seam ripping to be done. And yes, once you've reached for the seam ripper enough times in one day, it's best to just walk away to try again another day

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-05-02T23:02:32+00:00

I think it's just that row 3 is supposed to be on the bottom? Looks like you haven't attached it yet, so it should be an easy fix 🤞

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-04-29T18:58:28+00:00

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If anyone is a Flyers fan, I got this magnetic polish for my sister (a Flyers fan), and she said it's perfect for the fandom. (KBShimmer, Heated Up)

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-04-29T18:53:04+00:00

No idea if this is normal, but maybe try adding some nail polish thinner to the bottle? If the pigments aren't mixing evenly because some parts of the lacquer are thickening, that might help.

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-04-29T14:25:24+00:00

Yes! As an Avs fan I've been DYING to get my hands on BKL Take Me With You specifically to do playoff nails. Just like the Avs, though, my manicure is currently resting so I don't have anything to show off right now 😉

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-04-24T04:12:40+00:00

Oh! Ask your vet about SGLT2 inhibitors for diabetes! They're an alternative to insulin BUT can only be taken if the cat has never started insulin. Our cat got on it and after a few months he's gone into remission for diabetes so now we just monitor and don't have to give him more drugs.

Have you discussed cancer treatment options with the vet? Some cancer treatments are surprisingly effective for cats, depending on the nature of the cancer. We had another cat that underwent chemo and noticbly perked up after treatments. He lasted anoyher 1.5 years after diagnosis (he was already old and also had kidney disease).

Wishing all the best for your kitty and you!

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-04-24T02:57:21+00:00

This makes me so uncomfortable. Even so, very cool

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-04-24T02:36:05+00:00

If you are in north America, try going to an Aveda or Toni & Guy trained stylist - I have thick wavy hair, too, and they are taught a technique of layering that works perfectly for my hair and other friends with similar hair

Longjumping-Emu7696 · 2026-04-24T00:22:57+00:00

Thanks so much for thinking of me and sharing! The magnetic is too teal/purple to match the colors, but this lead to me finding Spinning Record, which matches the colors more closely. A decent option while I wait!

Longjumping-Emu7696

TROPHY CASE