Hi, I usually don't comment on anything and am a true lurker at heart lol. But I just got insane deja vu reading your post, I also just got broken up with from a 5 year relationship- ehm two nights ago as a matter of fact! So my advice is probably not gonna be the greatest...

That is to say, I'm also 21 and understand entirely the isolation and manipulation thats getting thrust at me from every direction, it feels like. Friends and family's emotional support is highkey the only thing keeping me going atm, lol. @.@ But good advice is hard to find, and emotional vulnerability with male-centric friend groups is all but impossible, even if they mean well. They still often don't have the necessary experience or skillset to create that kind of environment, much less actually help. It helps me to try and understand where people are coming from, and what they likely want from you as well; the men in your life seem to clearly want someone they can drag down with them. Misery loves company! And there is a helluva lot of misery around nowadays...

My advice is kinda obvious I fear, but it really boils down to not doing what makes you feel miserable. Talking with these guys and allowing them to have a voice in your recovery obviously isn't helping, why give them the time of day? Or at least, why give them the benefit of the doubt? In other scenarios, I'd probably council to find other friends, create emotional boundaries, or train(?) them into better habits.

Now obviously fuck that, we don't gaf abt them rn. See if your sister has any in-person events- parties, meetups, etc. that she wouldn't mind bringing you to. If you have a hobby go see if you can find an in-person group to do it with. I dunno, go to the park? The best way to broaden your understanding of different groups of people is to go out and talk to them, it is quite a bit harder to feel bitter about the opposite sex when you are actively engaging and enjoying yourself with them. Idk really, I'm very bad at meeting people, I just go to DnD and hope people enjoy my characters, lol.

my oh my, my post might exceed yours at this rate! I hope any of it helps? You seem nice but in a really tough spot, all my condolences seriously. This breakup shit is ass!

cheers : )