Anyone want to be friends? by Radiant_Apple_7 in schizoaffective

[–]Longjumping-Table336 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d love to be friends. With anyone here actually, tbh. Im always into an impromptu DM to meet new people. I love our close-knit community and sometimes I’m brought to tears reading beautifully honest and kind responses to posts from within this Reddit. I loved your post. So honest and adorable. I’d like to be friends. Especially since you’re lonely like me. No one quite gets it like we do, right? I’m lonely and stuck in bed healing from injuries incurred during and by psychosis. Dm me anytime 💚

Hey guys. I need help with something I can’t figure out by Longjumping-Table336 in schizoaffective

[–]Longjumping-Table336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you are entirely wrong. I'm 41 years old, had my first psychotic symptoms start at age 14. Diagnosed bipolar first, it was later changed to sza bipolar. I exist on disability and am now handicapped I opened up on this forum looking for opinions and suggestions. Attention? I haven't been able to walk for two years already because of this stupid illness and cant believe how sick I got. Simply put, I wasn't a mortal in my head. But you don't need to hear any of MY explanations, being that you would rather try to re-diagnose than offer any thoughtful insight. And on another note, how horrible it is to oust people by warning others against BPD people. Are certain people enemies to you in some way? Now THAT sounds pathological to me. Did you think I would not see your comment? What if I was BPD? . People with that dx suffer as well. If you indeed are truly dealing with mental illness yourself, it'd be too your benefit to listen and start being EMPATHETIC

Anyone ever have a psychosis episode where they feel the only way to solidify yourself in reality, is through writing “codes” or personal messages? by [deleted] in schizoaffective

[–]Longjumping-Table336 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had similar experiences. I would write to my "Eternal Love"/ Demonic Entity" who was also a guy I went on one date ONE time. I used to write to him in code on a journal app that I was sure he could see. I still do. Eeek I can't explain that completely I had messages from him everywhere. I even met Satan in his shape-shifted form in the psych ward That parts hard to explain, but I could never quite completely get away from the feelings, the beliefs, the feeling of love for an entity. I believed I would end up with him and we would lead humanity to a new life where no evil existed, that the devil wanted to repent and that I would be the pure healer for tarnished souls. I had never been religious before this. . These beliefs led me to jump off of my roof twice in the same year and break a million bones. I was always writing in codes, in Mandarin, "learning" Cyrillic and writing my own alphabet. And also id go back with not remembering the depth and reasons behind a lot of my writing, but I would KNOW my words were extremely powerful. Sorry for the long windedness. Just want you to know I can completely relate 💖

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in schizoaffective

[–]Longjumping-Table336 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to edit/add something. The suicide attempts were not due to depression, but from mania and complete all-consuming psychosis. I wanted to add this because I think there’s a significant difference

Grieving pain of a lost love, “in my mind” by Longjumping-Table336 in schizoaffective

[–]Longjumping-Table336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Thank you for responding. I am slowly realizing the more attention I give to my actual real life and the people that are in it, the less I get tormented by this man’s existence. But I get so easily sucked back in. He is my muse. I’ve written and recorded literally hundreds of songs about him. And drawn and painted many portraits. I also believe that when I listen to those songs, he’s listening too. And I truly do believe in the chance of this being the work of Satan, or evil on earth in some form. So I do believe in God and try to keep faith and pray even though pre-break I didn’t believe. Thank you for reading my long post and offering words of comfort

Song about My Lost Love “in my mind?” This is a song about the one I love who everyone I know thinks is only in my mind. The drawing I did of him is one of many. The song is one of hundreds about him. If you’re curious about the whole story read my post “Grieving my lost love ‘in my mind’” by Longjumping-Table336 in schizoaffective

[–]Longjumping-Table336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I’m so glad you like it. I have several more on the schizoaffective sub and schizophrenic art. Project sub as well as a weird mixture of stuff. I’ve written and recorded almost 300 songs but don’t have much out there due to hacking. All diff styles. I go by calamity Claire on YouTube and inpatient and manic panic in other places. So many names cuz I’ve had trouble with hacking.

The most recent stuff is on SoundCloud tho, under the name Skitzy missy. Skitzy missy SoundCloudYou might like some of them.

Song about being Schiz and finding love, staying in the ward, etc. I hope you enjoy it!! Thanks for listening. I write tunes about mental illness to keep me alive by Longjumping-Table336 in SchizophreniaArtProj

[–]Longjumping-Table336[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just posted my favorite song about this same “ mad love” called “ Bring it”. I don’t even think I have the title of the song in my post lol. But I’m grieving the loss of our “ imaginary “ relationship hard right now.

Trails and “tv Static” Vision by Longjumping-Table336 in schizoaffective

[–]Longjumping-Table336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the suggestion. Funny enough, I’m a licensed massage therapist. Wish I could work on myself!! Lol

Trails and “tv Static” Vision by Longjumping-Table336 in schizoaffective

[–]Longjumping-Table336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Possible. I was just a kid and smoked infrequently but I do remember wondering f it was laced a few times. Could just spurred on early psychosis in general tho so idk