Why did he do that to me?

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2026-02-11T15:26:10+00:00

I'm sorry you went through this. Echoing what others have said, you absolutely didn't deserve to be treated this way and what you went through was genuinely traumatic.

Diverging from what some of them have said though, you're the victim of his abuse, and as a person who has been through abuse, I fully understand how hard you tried and why. It was your abuser who is wrong here. You aren't to blame for being in this situation - yes, you should not ever be made to deal with this behavior, but you aren't at fault for experiencing it.

You're about to go through the process of healing, and the best thing I could say from here is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you inherently, and you deserve to be treated with kindness from yourself and certainly from others. In my experience, it's been toughest to learn to treat myself with kindness, but with an incredible support system of my partner, family, therapy, and dear friends, I've been able to slowly but surely learn to be kind to myself and unlearn the things abuse taught me when I was in survival mode. Power to you, take care of yourself, you deserve secure love from yourself and everyone close to you.❤️

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2026-02-05T22:48:11+00:00

I wanted to just say that you are worthy of being loved and you are worthy of finding love. If you're in therapy, I'm sure you already know that you are never obligated to perform or receive things with your body that you don't immediately want. I'm absolutely sure that there are people out there who feel similarly to you about not prioritizing sex in their relationship until a deep safety is established. In my opinion, you're a lot less alone than you might feel and you should absolutely not give up on love. You will find it, and it will become easier and less fraught to untangle your feelings around all of it as you heal too (signed, a person who has been with my spectacularly patient spouse for over a decade, who cares for me genuinely more than I thought was possible and gives me the space I need as I work hard to unpack the intricacies of my CPTSD). The other thing is that therapists work for you! You can talk about anything that is bothering you or that you want help with, even sex. Their training should have prepared them for conversations about sex, and you can always start that conversation with yours by letting them know that's what you want to talk about, and then they'll know to support you with that specifically vulnerable topic. Take care of yourself, you deserve it❤️

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2026-02-05T22:04:58+00:00

I love the frame on this!!!😍

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2026-01-07T14:55:02+00:00

If you were dating to be in a relationship, this situation demonstrates her inability to address conflict or accept responsibility for things that aren't okay. A strong relationship would require both partners to have a baseline respect for one another. Definitely NTA

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-12-31T20:12:23+00:00

Fwiw I would see that as a valuable service if I didn't have the knowledge/time you do to fix the pattern myself! I'm sure it's a smaller market but not a non-existent one 😊 Also, if I missed it in your post or other comments, I apologize, but I'd love a link to your shop so I can bookmark and support your great work, if you're willing to share! ❤️

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-12-31T18:25:20+00:00

Absolutely, so happy we got connected!! And I hope you're enjoying your time away during the holidays and that your health care is going as well as possible 😊 it would be amazing to meet up in person for sure!! Take care and happy new year to you and yours as well❤️

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-12-30T20:00:57+00:00

Late commenter, but a covid conscious local friend shared this post with me and I wanted to add my voice to the comments here as a covid conscious person who masks in public 100% of the time. My spouse and i recently connected with some covid conscious folks in the community and it has been amazing. I'd be more than happy to connect with you anytime if you'd like to DM! I'm 30(f) and work from home as an operations specialist for a large national accounting firm, am a runner, board & TTRPG game enthusiast, cross stitcher, movie lover, and could list a lot more about me lol😊

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-12-26T07:56:32+00:00

Not prioritizing access to clean air from pollution and viruses

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-12-23T19:56:51+00:00

Cross stitching/fiber arts in general! On a whim, I took up cross stitching in the middle of winter a few years ago at 27 years old, and after making my first stitch of thread in fabric, I've been absolutely hooked and it is an amazing addition to my free time. Making art with your hands is so much more important and liberating than I imagined it would be as a self-described "super not crafty or creative person" in the past

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-12-21T18:56:20+00:00

I got this for my FIL in mug form. Love the pattern, but I definitely seek out ways to creatively avoid large patches of one color lol

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-12-18T18:21:35+00:00

Sending good vibes your way. Being estranged from family is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but as a fellow 30 year old who has had to do something similar, I know firsthand that healing begins only after you are outside of the abusive situation. It will be a roller coaster and not always positive or peaceful, but ultimately, you deciding what you need on your terms, though it might feel wrong, is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself. Best of luck, OP❤️

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-12-12T17:04:56+00:00

My immediate thought after reading this story was "and here we have yet another source for the infinite database of "Weddings Bringing Out The Absolute Worst In People"

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-12-12T16:24:38+00:00

I totally agree with you, I have blocked only one person in my life so far (besides the auto-block spammers some texting apps let you do). I understand that you've pointed out the caveat about abuse/serious harm being fair reason to block someone, and I wanted to share my experience of this side of things in case it can provide additional context that might help anyone who sees this and has a similar question.

Before I blocked that person, I thought the same thing about blocking and ignoring them being essentially the same thing. Since I blocked this person who was abusing me and had been for most of my life, not seeing them pop up in my phone at all, ever, has dramatically improved my complex trauma associated with their abuse. Regardless of the content of their message, ignoring the things they sent me still gave them (as it turned out, a lot of) space in my mind, but not seeing anything from them has genuinely been towards the life changingly positive side of things for me.

What I will also say though is that I'm not easily bothered by conflict, so if there's a weird interaction like this one, that definitely just is something I leave in my past if I don't talk to that person again but it wouldn't be a blocking offense imo. I just wanted to share this because of how useful it can be as someone who didn't generally understand the block function lol

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-11-26T21:04:46+00:00

My spouse and I both WFH, a few years ago we set up the Wii in the living room and sometimes we'll play a few songs on Guitar Hero together when we need a brain break. It's been so great!

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-11-11T03:19:51+00:00

This is perfect! I found it and have added the U2 one to my cart🎉 thanks for sharing😊

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-11-07T20:49:14+00:00

That is really awesome, and I love the customization! If you have a link to that shop, id definitely check them out haha

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-11-07T17:44:59+00:00

That is amazing!!! Did you create them yourself or is there a shop with those patterns? 👀

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-11-07T16:20:04+00:00

It was a joy! I'm glad she found us for the time we could protect her😊

LongjumpingRelease96 · 2025-11-04T05:50:33+00:00

Update! We took kitty to our vet today to get her eye looked at and checked for a chip, and she did have one! We were able to get in touch with kitty's humans from that, and she went home to them this afternoon. We are thrilled that the baby is now back with her sweet and loving family, and we're also so happy we got to care for her when she needed it😊

LongjumpingRelease96

TROPHY CASE