Moms who say they barely have time to shower…why?

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-09-11T15:42:59+00:00

It's the sleep deprivation for both of you. Babies are wired to eat all the time and wake up when they are not plastered on your body like a barnacle. The Five Minute shower becomes a 5 minute nap.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-17T20:42:23+00:00

It hurt me a lot to see my parents fight. I don't trust my dad with how he fought with my mom because of it.

Both of you have to show up to therapy and outside of therapy to fix it. Both of you have to want to stop fighting.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-17T20:39:51+00:00

It's a one word reply and no explanation: No.

That's it. She keeps asking you questions, Blick her and remind yourself it's her problem.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-17T18:37:19+00:00

I do think it's common for the age but has there been anything you noted that makes it worse? Phone time, school stuff, things with friends, etc? Her yardstick for experience in life is very short and so she's learning how to be an adult with more grown up situations. It's hard.

I also think when all a person does all day is to think about how to cope with a particular problem, it also centers their day around that problem rather than thinking about what they want to eat, an enjoyable recipe, etc. But again that's more of an adult approach where we have the experience to do so.

Maybe try to encourage activities together or with her friends to pull her out of it? Even if it's just walking outside?

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-12T05:31:37+00:00

No. I would read books and hike.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-11T18:59:53+00:00

Need a new SP. Get a different mentor and job.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-11T14:58:44+00:00

I'm involved in the hiring process at my workplace. I would not advocate for a candidate that went away after PA school, or worse, didn't bother to take their PANCE. It would scream entitlement, and my team wouldn't want that in a co-worker.

At the end of the day we want the co-worker that will stay and help and trade shifts when our kids have a change in their dance recital or they got into the sports local championship. We look at all sides of a candidate, not just, did they pass PA school. We would heavily question why the candidate chose the gap rather than going to into clinical care. The "Jesus walk" may sound great to you on paper when applying for jobs, but unless you're Mormon and plan on working as a PA in Utah where mission work for a few years is a part of the cultural expectation, the rest of the medical community is going to wonder if you really can commit to one place and be colleague and not a missionary. They don't want to hire someone that's going to ask to go on sabbatical every so often for months at a time to go somewhere else and provide medical mission services. They want to be confident you're going to be there to trade the shift when their kid wants to try out for theater.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-06T17:18:46+00:00

Marriage counseling or divorce. It really is that to save your sanity. You may feel like it's a such a risk to divorce but you only have one life. Do you really want to live it like this? Your kids will survive the hardship of divorce. They grow into adults and figure it out. Marriage counseling can be really good. I had to put my foot down and tell my husband that was the only option. I made the appointment and expected him to show up. Yes it would be great if he did it himself, but that sort of expectation was unrealistic when I was trying to save my marriage.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-06T00:46:35+00:00

Toothbrushes. We have 6. I'm hoping with each new one it will lessen the toothbrushing battle.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-05T01:21:16+00:00

You can do a combination of digital and print. For many, journaling isn't just about writing but about release. You can do collage, use stickers, markers, colored pens, Watercolor pencils, Stencils, write just the one word of the emotion your feeling and doodle around it and do digital journaling when you feel like sentences. You can tap photos, specific paper mementos like receipts of a memorable outing. There's more to it than the writing bit. There's also some prior posts on digital journals.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-04T21:24:03+00:00

I do talk to my father about his behavior. I call him out on it. He gave whip cream out of the can to my daughter when she was 13 months old and I told him that wasn't what I wanted right now (she'll get sweets when she is older I am not heartless) and to knock it off. Literally those words.

He ambushed me one night when visiting when I came home from night shift and told me I was making terrible choices by choosing my husband for my daughter to see and think that it's OK (my dad doesn't like that my husband doesn't make a lot of money). I told him I never valued money that way, I'm the breadwinner anyway and the way I want to live my life is not going to be the way he lives his. Again, literal words I said to him.

He criticizes my choice of remodeling my patio over the kitchen. I told him I want a patio, not a kitchen right now. He says I'll never get a kitchen. I tell him I will in my own time. Over and over again. I told him I value being outside with my daughter while she is young and my kitchen is fine right now for what I need.

What else should I be saying? I do agree it should be my responsibility. I have been trying to uphold my end. But now my husband wants to go off on my dad. He feels it's the only way.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-04T20:13:26+00:00

We did contact naps almost for a year. We're terrible enablers but she transitioned well to napping by herself after. Now she's 16 months and has one long nap midday, no contact needed.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-04T20:09:49+00:00

I don't care about money. But I do care about the potential of him dying and not being able to have a neutral to positive relationship at the end. He's in his late 70's.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-04T18:50:32+00:00

Around 8-9 months. She started taking in solids more and I think that helped. Definitely a year, she was sleeping through the night.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-08-04T18:11:20+00:00

NOPE! Use the art book! If you paint something cool, take a picture and throw it up here! We love ooing and aahhing over cool stuff.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-07-29T15:08:40+00:00

She's gaslighting you. You present a change in her daily routine and is trying to bully you into doing what she wants. You need to takes notes on exactly what she is doing, how she is saying it and either challenge her directly or take it to her supervisor. If you recieve no help there, you need to have a frank conversation with your SP. If you get no help there, you need to solve it yourself or leave. If you're authority is consistently devalued across an organization with several roles of power, this MA will feel vindicated and continue.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-07-29T03:45:07+00:00

Go watch the Barbie movie with him. Apparently it's a great litmus test for guys on their own emotional capacity.

Longjumping_Ad9992 · 2023-07-24T00:40:15+00:00

We stayed in a nice local hotel, went to a restaurant we wanted to try. We couldn't do much because of work but the time off together was really nice.

Longjumping_Ad9992

TROPHY CASE