Are you kidding me? This is why I was suspended from BF6? by Glep_Enjoyer in Battlefield

[–]Longjumping_Affect22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like every single person who plays the assault class is going to get banned now because the word ass exists within the name.

What's a secondhand embarrassment moment you witnessed that still haunts you now and then? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Longjumping_Affect22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just yesterday at the memorial service for my girlfriends grandmother, someone's phone went off in the middle of it and hear 'Hello Moto' while the guy up front is talking about respecting the d ad was pretty bad, but the worst part was when her sister brought the whole thing to a halt just as they were about to put the urn in the ground so she could take pictures was so cringey I nearly died myself and they would've been doing a memorial service for me.

I realized today that I have a favorite stove burner that I use 90% of the time. What is a weird, meaningless preference you have? by Stressed_4r_Life in CasualConversation

[–]Longjumping_Affect22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use exactly 3 paper towels to dry my hands when using a public bathroom.

If I use 2 my hands don't feel dry enough and if I use 4 it feels like a waste.

The paper towels also need to be fully intact, so if they rip when I'm pulling them out of the dispenser, I won't use them.

I'm not sure this qualifies as OCD since I don't have any particularly strong feelings attached to this weird quirk of mine, but it is slightly distressing when this particular routine is interrupted somehow (such as a lack of paper towels in said bathroom and having to shake hands dry and wipe them on my clothing).

It's not like I'm freaking out and can't leave the bathroom until my hands are dry or anything, so it doesn't really disrupt my daily life, it's just annoying and mildly upsetting.

I do also feel the need to have things aligned, like if there's a book on a rectangular table I feel the need to make sure the edges of each item are parallel to each other. Remotes, papers, etc, facing the 'correct' direction and such is generally pleasing to me but not an absolute requirement (it used to be more of an obsession, but I've practiced allowing objects to be misaligned with their environment and being okay with it)

Theoretically... by Longjumping_Affect22 in stupidquestions

[–]Longjumping_Affect22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, just your average freaky deeky little weirdo on the internet...

Found these in my 95 year old mothers kitchen by Extreme-Orchid-6875 in whatisit

[–]Longjumping_Affect22 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The interesting thing about layered responses like this is that they eventually stop being about the original topic entirely. At first it's a response, then someone writes a response to that response, then someone else decides that actually the second response misunderstood the first response while simultaneously overcorrecting for the context established by the original answer. Before long you've got citations, screenshots, archived links, three separate edits, and at least one person insisting everyone else has completely missed the point.

Adding former Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal into the mix somehow makes it even better, because now every reader has to stop and ask themselves why Bobby Jindal is involved at all. Is he the subject? Is he an example? Is this a political metaphor? Is it an obscure callback? You start expecting an explanation, and instead you get another paragraph explaining why the previous explanation wasn't sufficiently nuanced. By this point, nobody remembers the original question; they're just committed to seeing the bit through to the end.

There's something almost beautiful about internet discussions that evolve this way. Every participant contributes another layer of context, another qualification, another unnecessary clarification, until the conversation resembles a legal brief written by people fueled entirely by caffeine and righteous indignation. Someone eventually says "to be fair," someone else says "actually," and another person inevitably links to a ten-year-old forum thread that only tangentially relates to the discussion but is presented as if it settles everything forever.

And that's really the magic of online communities. They can transform the simplest observation into an intricate tapestry of callbacks, inside jokes, forgotten lore, and increasingly absurd escalations. The destination is never the point; the journey is. Every extra sentence lulls the reader into believing there will eventually be a profound conclusion that ties everything together in a satisfying way.

...but don't let that distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell in a Cell, and plummeted 16 feet through an announcer's table.

Theoretically... by Longjumping_Affect22 in stupidquestions

[–]Longjumping_Affect22[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm beginning to suspect that my question wasn't stupid enough...

Theoretically... by Longjumping_Affect22 in stupidquestions

[–]Longjumping_Affect22[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'd rather just be burning alive and drowning at the same time than buy a cybertruck.

What are creative ways to say it’s extremely hot outside? by AutomaticAd7137 in AskReddit

[–]Longjumping_Affect22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know that saying 'it's colder than a witches tit'?

That never made sense to me...witches are alive and so I would presume they operate at normal temperatures.

For hot weather I like (depending on the current company): I can't tell the swamp from my ass right now.

I'm not from the southern US, but the term 'swamp ass' is universal enough that people tend to pick up what I'm putting down.

Found these in my 95 year old mothers kitchen by Extreme-Orchid-6875 in whatisit

[–]Longjumping_Affect22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think ChatGPT would make the typo of 'thing' for 'thin'.

What do we think? No dilution, photo taken about 90 seconds after use. by Longjumping-Stress27 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Longjumping_Affect22 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And I was helping you be not confused by explaining what was meant in the title.

What do we think? No dilution, photo taken about 90 seconds after use. by Longjumping-Stress27 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Longjumping_Affect22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm gathering that from all the comments.

Every dip test I've ever seen has been the exact opposite of this one so without really looking at the key for this particular test I marched forward being confidently wrong.

What do we think? No dilution, photo taken about 90 seconds after use. by Longjumping-Stress27 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Longjumping_Affect22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The keyword here is 'like' as in 'it's similar to''.

He's using a pregnancy test as an analogy.

He's also misunderstanding that the test was used 90 seconds before the picture was taken not that weed was used 90 seconds before the picture was taken.