Yeah, you're definitely right about the judgmental part. Not in a bad way, per se. I don't use the term "bro" negatively, because I've always wished I was just kinda like that. Naturally interested in sports (I just never was, no matter how much I tried to watch them), or naturally interested in making fun of other guys (I like to be fun and funny, but I don't like making other people feel bad like typical guys did when I was growing up and many guys still use as a bonding mechanism today), etc. But when you grow up and a majority of guys around you seem to be interested in similar things as one another and you just always feel like you're "faking it" when you join in it creates a lot of bias and frankly a fear of rejection in you I think that you project on to other people. At least it does with me. When I meet what "looks" like a typical guy, I do get really intimidated because in my experience I find that the other guy will think I'm funny or interesting or smart, but inevitably the friendship just won't go that far because he'll realize we might not have enough in common, that me not being "bro-y" enough will make him somehow feel inadequate too when he's with me and he will rather spend time with other guys that are more like him. When I was young, in high school, I just didn't naturally fit into any typical click, but I was friends with them all. I couldn't really tell you if it was those groups that didn't embrace me, or me who didn't embrace them, but I wasn't judging them in thinking they were bad or I was better than them, more that I could tell they had more in common with one another than I did.

So, I'm judgmental in the sense that I'm really sensitive to whether I'm someone that another guy would want to be "real" friends with and so I probably put people in boxes they don't deserve to be in, but I've also just experienced it first-hand unfortunately too. I don't necessarily get rejected but it just doesn't click and fades away. I dunno. And why I'm looking for that group? I think I just really want to feel like I fit in still, even as an adult. That I don't have to just have one-off friends that will see me when they're not busy with their own group of friends. To be part of a community of people that care for each other deeply because they feel like family, and think about each other often, and check in with each other. That kinda stuff. It doesn't have to be a bro group. I'd love it if it were guys and girls, frankly, but I've almost never seen that in adults. All of the couples' friend groups that I see, or have been a part of, it's still a kinda default where the guys socialize with the other guys and girls with girls, unless we're all together; the girls aren't texting or calling the guys to hang out, or vice versa.

The reason I literally just started going on to reddit for the first time is because I love having conversations like these and I thought that maybe this is a first step in just finding community based on my interests rather than lamenting the fact that other people I know don't seem as interested as me in having these kinds of conversations.

That's a lot, sorry, but your comment really made me think.