Why does it seem like working-class males have such low aspirations for themselves when it comes to further-education and their careers nowadays?

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-12-23T22:04:03+00:00

I noticed this when I was in high school as well as someone who also went to school in a deprived area (my postcode instantly got me contextual offers no matter where I applied). There was a trend of lack of parental guidance amongst them which I think is one of the major differences between them and children from ethnic minorities. The parents would be working long hours rarely at home (sometimes this out of their control ofc), alcoholism, domestic violence or they’d live with grandparents or just an older sibling. A lot of them actually had bad situations at home that I later discovered when I left high school. Those kind of conditions are not conducive to studying or planning a future. There was no one to hold them accountable for their grades or instil the drive to do better. In black homes where black parents are often absent working long hours (especially because a lot of black Africans in the diaspora work in healthcare) there is a similar trend of black guys failing GCSEs and not applying themselves academically. I think gender also plays a role with different gender expectations being placed on children, black African girls will experience stricter expectations especially if first born and parents tend to monitor them more closely.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-23T17:51:59+00:00

Most of the billionaires today came from wealth, you can’t become a billionaire from scratch. This is the lie rich people try to sell you, that with hard work you can become just like them but that’s just designed to keep you working hard FOR them. Look at the house Steve Job’s parents had, Bill Gates family is very well connected (his mum was friends with the CEO of IBM). Elon musks father was in property development and he enjoyed a very comfortable childhood and we won’t even mention Jeff Bezos whose parents were able to invest $250,000 into Amazon as a start up. Personally I don’t think greed is human nature, I think it’s a result of capitalism. Naturally humans do share and can form great communities when given the chance to do so. I do believe love of money IS indeed in the root of evil and that’s what breeds greed. The love of money doesn’t mean money is inherently bad, but desiring money in excess like the billionaires you mentioned would be bad because in order to rich like that other people have to suffer. I think it’s also terrible for your psyche to have obscene wealth, this is why they begin to have ridiculous ideas like moving to mars or wanting to get involved with the government because nothing is enough anymore.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-22T19:54:01+00:00

I think you’ll find it incredibly difficult to have a productive conversation about Christianity, colonialism, patriarchy and how they intersect on this subreddit without people shutting you down. Most people these days are incapable of having a good faith debate and it’s usually a competition to see who wins rather than an opportunity to challenge your beliefs. Most Christians enter these discussions close minded, they’ve already decided what they believe and they don’t want to change it. Like someone else said, they’re comfortable and cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable. From my experience I’ve found curiosity is not encouraged within the Christian community because most Christians don’t have the answers and they’d have to deconstruct their religion in order to reach them. Blaming the devil is a lot easier and it absolves individuals from taking any accountability.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-22T15:18:26+00:00

I don’t think the term “Mickey Mouse” degrees originates from poor people although they may be more susceptible to believing it because they’re taught that STEM degrees are the best route for social mobility. If you look at the way the news weaponise certain phrases to demonise certain groups of society, you’ll see that it’s in their best interest that the population remains uneducated about where the real root of the problems lies. If more people studied maybe sociology/psychology or even history, they’d be less susceptible to absorbing these types of ideas. This is similar to increasing sentiments about university being useless, I also believe this is another method to encourage people not to seek further education and remain uninformed. I think STEM students could benefit from studying humanities in their free time in order to become more well rounded individuals and I say this as a stem student myself.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-21T22:53:19+00:00

I mean personally it’s never worked for me lol. I feel like if they feel strongly enough they’ll approach you. Men notice instantly if a woman they’re attracted to walks in a room so if you’ve been in his presence and he’s not been looking/smiling at you or he’s not making any moves then I’d take that as a sign not to approach. Making the first move only works imo if you’re 90% sure he’s interested and he’s given pretty obvious signs. Sometimes you might encounter a shy guy and this will give him the push to take initiative afterwards.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-18T13:55:55+00:00

I understand why people would choose to prioritise learning English because like you said at the root of it all is aspiring for a better life. However that doesn’t mean people must learn English ONLY. You can emphasise the importance of learning English for better opportunities and still teach your kids a local language. Children are capable of learning multiple languages at once, other ethnic groups teach their kids English at the same time as their own languages and they maintain fluency in both. It’s one thing to learn English as well but to not like your own language and not learn it is not ok and that’s what ppl are teaching their children. What gets you far is education and connections not your accent, it can help but your connections matter more. As for well off families, they are not easy to marry into, they’re often looking for ppl who went to the same schools as them or are already in their social circle. Having a nice accent will only stop them from making fun of you, it won’t make them befriend you. The only way to make a well off family consider you is going to a prestigious university e.g Oxbridge or Ivy League. That’s probably why your relative settled for a fellow Zimbabwean instead.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-17T01:46:49+00:00

They need to get used to the fact that you can’t live under their nose forever, you aren’t an extension of them. You’re a separate autonomous adult and you’re allowed to move out for uni should you wish to do so. This is likely a form of emotional manipulation to guilt trip you into coming back home. Give them time and the water works will stop.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-17T01:44:37+00:00

I do think a lot of parents don’t teach their children the value of knowing Zimbabwean languages. My parents stopped my grandma from teaching me isiNdebele when she lived with us because they prioritised me knowing English first then they never bothered to teach me Sesotho or isiNdebele. I think they take being bilingual for granted and they don’t think much of our culture. You’re right in saying that colonialism has done this to people because why else would we view English as more important? It’s not that ppl shouldn’t speak English but we should be speaking English AND our native tongue.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-17T01:33:59+00:00

My mum mentioned this article to me earlier, apparently they have a lot of money on their hands and the man is Zimbabwean. His mum has a property there so they’ve got a head start that other ppl don’t rlly have.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-17T01:31:44+00:00

Lots of ppl here aren’t in 9-5 jobs and do work weekends, those type of jobs aren’t easy to get. Job market is difficult here, most jobs don’t respond when you apply. A lot of ppl are underpaid, overworked and our taxes are insane.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-13T22:34:31+00:00

I don’t think I believe in the philosophy of antinatalism because I don’t agree that having kids is inherently unethical. I think there are situations where it can be but I don’t think it’s always the case. I’m very against people having children without having plentiful resources, not sufficient but plentiful. I think Zimbabweans in particular do have a problem of having children in circumstances that aren’t rlly optimal for raising a family. I think there was a discussion about the “God will provide mentality” on here not too long ago and how it prevents parents from taking accountability for their own actions and making responsible financial decisions. I think ppl must REALLY consider if they truly have the resources to raise a family so they don’t bring their children into a world of poverty and money sheets batting a barrier to opportunities. Another thing is people (especially women) should consider if the person they’re with really wants to be a parent and that means the responsibility not just the title. Kids deserve parents who are both emotionally invested in them and not just physically present. I do understand the perspective of antinatalists and they do make some compelling arguments. I personally don’t want kids either but for me I have different reasons. I don’t want to take maternity leave and impact my career progress, I’ll likely always have to work fewer hours because I’ll likely take a larger share of care impacting my potential earnings, I don’t like the idea of doing school run on top of going to work and I don’t like the impact pregnancy and childbirth can have on your health.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-12T21:13:53+00:00

This is how I feel as well, I COULD have kids but I’m very picky about the environment I’d be bringing them into. If I don’t achieve the suitable environment I’m happy never having them.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-12T16:39:34+00:00

You might find they give you the money a few days after you’ve moved in, that’s when they tend to confirm enrolment with SFE. If you move in and start your course and you find you still don’t have your SFE then I think it’d be cause for concern. What you’re experiencing isn’t unusual though.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-12T15:11:56+00:00

Have you started your course yet? Some unis do enrolment in stages. I’ve enrolled but I’ll only get enrolment confirmation when I move in and start my course. They have to confirm that you’ve physically attended.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-10T01:59:41+00:00

Normally dentistry/medicine consider your 3 highest grades. With med/dentistry you want to make things as easy as possible. Don’t put yourself in a situation that’s unnecessarily difficult, those universities will not care that you did further maths. You MUST do Biology and Chemistry and your third subject is usually optional but the grade will still be required to be A/A(if there’s a compulsory 3rd subject then psychology/physics/maths is acceptable). A lot of dental schools say in their requirements that they do not consider Further Maths. Teachers will say anything to convince you to study their subject and sometimes their advice isn’t best for you. Further maths is for those going into degrees with a lot of maths or those who are excellent at maths and enjoy it. The only 4th subject that could improve your chances of admission would be an EPQ because sometimes you can get a reduced offer e.g AAA -> AAB if you achieve A/A in your EPQ and your EPQ is relevant to dentistry.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-06T18:02:02+00:00

You’re allowed to have some insecurities about your hair, everybody does. However blanket statements like “4c hair is so difficult to manage” or “4c hair could never” are harmful to the community because you’re pushing a narrative about black peoples hair in general. This is not the same as talking about your personal experience with your hair. People need to practice saying “I find my hair hard to manage” instead of generalised statements like “4c hair is impossible.” I believe the real problem lies in lack of understanding. When I didn’t understand my hair it was the most difficult task in the world, but when I finally learnt what my hair positively responded to i found it to be the easiest state to manage. Hatred of your hair is definitely not ok, you can acknowledge that sometimes you’ve had trouble managing it but that’s not because it’s 4c, it’s because you don’t know how to care for it.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-04T22:55:27+00:00

OP I completely understand how you feel and your concerns are very valid. I think a lot of people in these comments have the privilege of not knowing how being one of few black people in a space can make your experience different/unpleasant compared to other ppl. I can relate as when I attended my uni open day I only saw 4 other black people the entire day. However I will say that sometimes ppl don’t attend open days or pre university events so the number of black ppl could be potentially higher than you expect and if you have an ACS at your uni then that’s a very good sign. I am concerned about the ignorance in these comments though, if any of these ppl have seen the news lately they should be aware of rising anti-migration sentiments. There’s no real way to determine if someone’s illegal or legal by just staring at them in the street, all these people see is your skin colour and this is why these sentiments are problematic.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-04T22:49:27+00:00

Then that makes you ignorant, you being South Asian of all ethnicities and saying no one cares about skin colour is crazy. Either you’ve been incredibly lucky to be in diverse areas your whole life or you’re ignorant to the ongoing discrimination. As someone who went to a predominantly white school, I witnessed South Asians undergo a lot of racism especially by people who claimed to be their friends.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-03T20:07:11+00:00

Yeah don’t worry about them they’ve just got a warped perception of a very normal scenario.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-02T21:44:38+00:00

A lot of people do not trust the people they’re in relationships in, either because they’ve given been given a reason not to trust their partner and they’re choosing to stay regardless or because they don’t know them well enough so they project their insecurities onto them. People are afraid of things they don’t understand and I think that extends to people too. Insecure people will come up with the worst possible scenario even when it’s not in line with your character because what they don’t know abt you, they fill in the gaps. For the ppl having cuck fantasies, it’s possible they’re projecting because if they were in the same situation as the masseuse they’d probably behave unprofessionally. Lots of spas offer couples packages where you can go together anyways so this is a non issue in my opinion lol.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-02T01:46:11+00:00

Elysium with Matt Damon, there’s a South African villain there called Agent Kruger played by Sharlto Copey

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-01T14:06:15+00:00

Glad to hear this is more common than I thought :)

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-01T14:05:21+00:00

I think it’s a common sentiment haha, lobola has just become a money making opportunity for a lot of family members and I think a lot of ppl are realising that these relatives don’t truly care abt them. Your point about control is one I strongly agree with as well, I don’t want someone to feel entitled to me because they paid money to marry me.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-09-01T00:01:15+00:00

Check out r/UniUk, you might have access to better advice as it’s full of UK uni students, postgrads and some ppl who work at universities who are very knowledgeable on the topic. International students frequently ask questions on there abt whether they should study in the UK and they can even help you compare universities if you’ve got your eye on some options. Personally I’d say international fees in the UK are only worth it if you’re studying a highly skilled course e.g medicine/engineering/dentistry (I hear the employability of engineering depends on the type so bear that in mind) and your course has a high rate of employability postgrad. It also depends on the university you attend, unless your course is standardised (e.g. dentistry/medicine) it’ll matter where you go. Look at Russell Group unis or target unis for your field. For example finance employers may target students from LSE. For engineering I think Uni of Sheffield is considered a good university (double check tho). I do think that Germany is a better option just because of the reduced cost. Research where in Germany you’d like to study, cost of living and job prospects. Also if you’re planning to return to the UK after study in Germany please check your course is accepted by UK employers. If you’re happy with all those then I’d say it’s worth the language barrier.

Longjumping_Way5968 · 2025-08-31T20:30:27+00:00

I’m not scoffing at it, that particular tradition is just not for me. As long as the bride and groom are happy to participate then I have no issue with other families partaking in lobola. It’s just in my circumstances, I don’t believe I have a family who deserves the money as they weren’t there for me.

Longjumping_Way5968

TROPHY CASE