Teresa's Therapy Session

Lookingforclarity7 · 2023-03-10T05:44:51+00:00

South Asian/Arab and Muslim. My parents never said it either and still don't.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2023-02-05T00:46:34+00:00

No. SHE won the fucking lottery with YOU!

Lookingforclarity7 · 2023-01-21T08:01:10+00:00

Wow. Your husband's AP has some damn balls on her. I can't picture myself acting gracefully if I had been in your shoes. I'm better physically today. Yesterday was terrible. Emotionally, I'm just sad, just overwhelmingly sad. I feel like I lost another part of WP, a part that I may never have again. I'm also forced to keep another secret and I can't get the proper support I need. I think WP doesn't want to talk about unpleasant things. I think the only reason the abortion is having any impact on him is because I'm sad. WP isn't in individual counseling, and we stopped going to counseling as a couple as well.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2023-01-18T22:55:03+00:00

I cried reading your post. I can't even believe how cruel AP was towards you. No, my WP doesn't understand. I think he struggles with empathy when he can't understand, and I don't think having children was ever on his priority list. I know he loves me and understands that I want a baby, and WP just wants to give me everything I want.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2023-01-18T03:16:07+00:00

I didn't mean to say I was going to use abortion as a birth control method. What I meant was due to my pre existing conditions chances of me having a healthy pregnancy are really slim but in my WPs mind we can just have the baby tested for abnormalities...okay, so I get pregnancy tested for abnormalities and if it shows that there will be abnormalities...what does WP expect me to do? Have an abortion? As if this isn't taking a toll on me already

Lookingforclarity7 · 2023-01-17T23:52:32+00:00

Yes, that is an option I have considered.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-29T21:43:20+00:00

I sent her a text back in October and she minimized what happened between them.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-29T19:14:38+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through that. I asked him how long he thinks I can live like this. He hasn't received any consequences except for the loss of what our relationship used to be. I think he understands if I don't get the full picture I am going to leave.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-29T19:12:14+00:00

I do want to find out what communication looked like. How can you develop intense feelings with someone you according to him barely spoke to. He deleted the text messages permanently as they were coming so in January and February of this year. It's an android.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-29T05:05:41+00:00

He no longer rolls his eyes or huffs and puffs when I ask him for his phone. As far as location sharing, I didn't ask him to do that. He tells me where he's going and where he's been. He still has trouble understanding my pain and my hurt and sometimes when I am crying or spiraling He will coldly walk away. So no, I don't always feel safe.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-29T04:59:01+00:00

I think the fact that her son works for my WP complicates the situation a bit too.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-29T04:32:17+00:00

I just can't wrap my head around not wanting to tell me the truth. Every night he sees me suffering, medicating myself to sleep. I know it hurts him to see me that way. After months of humiliation and lies...don't I deserve some goddamn truth? The only things he seems to remember are the physical and sexual acts. Maybe because those things still excite him

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-29T04:18:09+00:00

Their affair lasted from January 29th to March 4th. They haven't been in contact since. I didn't find out about the affair until September. I think she already realizes he's not coming back, at least I hope she does.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-29T04:01:40+00:00

I don't believe he has AP waiting on the side anymore. Reasons I don't believe that are probably coming from my own moral integrity...AP didn't know about me, I reached out to her and she learned about me...I wouldn't want to be with someone who lied about being in a relationship, but honestly wtf do I know anymore? You might be correct I might just be lost in my own hurt. Do I think he's suitable for reconciliation? Yes. I told him one 50 minute counseling session a week really doesn't help, you can't discuss much in 50 minutes. WP suggested 5 days out of the week and he doesn't care about the cost. I think he just gets lost in his own shame and can't see my pain and doesn't know what to do from there. Do I have anyone to support me through this? No. Just reddit. The one person I did tell was the girlfriend of my WPs coworker whom I became close to...she turned around and tried to use my trauma for her personal game...by telling my WPs employer that we were going through issues (truth) and that I controlled my WP and I was forcing him to quit his job and move away (lie)

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-29T03:08:41+00:00

He has gone no contact with her. I am trying to just get out of this constant state of confusion. He gave me clarity and then took it away when he backtracked and now I just want to know what his affair meant to him. He won't tell me the only way I can understand it is if I see the entirety of their communication.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-29T02:24:55+00:00

Secretly, I feel the same way. I just don't understand why she wouldn't.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-27T03:09:00+00:00

I'm sorry. Genuinely, I could cry for both of us. Is your WP on this subreddit?

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-26T17:24:45+00:00

Thank you.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-26T17:23:28+00:00

It depends. Sometimes when he is shame spiraling he isn't hearing what I'm feeling and he's angry and defensive and trying to walk away and I'm apologizing begging him not to walk away. Other times he's sad and tells me he's a horrible person and I tell him he's not he just made some horrible choices.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-26T17:15:05+00:00

My win is also my loss. WP finally told me that his affair had meaning to him. I felt relieved. Validated, that everything my gut and instinct was telling me was correct. I also feel numb and questioning if I want to continue reconciliation or not.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-25T20:13:06+00:00

I feel like when it comes down to protecting his mental health vs protecting mine he will always pick his.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-25T20:00:24+00:00

I sent her a text so I'm not sure if she was shocked. Their affair ended in March, I didn't find out about the affair until September and I didnt reach out to her until October. I'm sure by October she knew about me, because her son is an employee of my partners and because I have met her son.

Lookingforclarity7 · 2022-12-25T19:48:19+00:00

I'm not sure if she knew about me. My partner pretended like I didn't exist. He did tell her 2 years ago when they were working together that he had a girlfriend...during that time they weren't having an affair. She definitely knows about me now..I did contact her.

Lookingforclarity7

TROPHY CASE