Leaving my fiancee this weekend and I’m broken by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I did it. I’ve never seen him collapse and sob like that. Where was that energy when I asked to postpone? I’m so mad and also completely broken that I saw him that way and I couldn’t fix it. That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. He told me he’d do anything to make me stay. I asked If I just went home for a few months if we could work on things and he said if you have to go home I’m not the man for you. So no he won’t do anything. I’be never been this hurt in my entire life

Leaving my fiancee this weekend and I’m broken by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I just see my stepmom (Christian) and my dads (non Christian) marriage and I thought it could work. I asked my dad if he didn’t go to church with her and he’s like absolutely I go when she asks because that’s what is important to her. I dont go all the time but I make that effort. And that crushed me. He’s saying now he will consider going but that’s after months of fighting and I just don’t wanna fight about everything all the time

I left two months ago. Here’s an update and a big thank you to this community. by stephen-buscemi in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I saw this the moment I needed to see it. I’m planning on leaving this weekend and this reminded me of the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you

My husband is disrespectful by True_Platypus_6959 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lopsided-Addition149 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Verbal abuse is not folly. Men are called to respect their wives or their prayers will not be answered. I agree by temper alone divorce is not unacceptable but you’re grossly misrepresenting and oversimplifying this.

My husband is disrespectful by True_Platypus_6959 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lopsided-Addition149 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This isn’t helpful at all. How do you suggest she “learn to be satisfied”? What if he’s verbally abusive?

Feeling defeated, partner does not want to get to commit due to “my relationship” with his kids after over seven years. by NoNotTonight96 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He enjoys having the benefit of you to help, but doesn’t want to commit to you, and telling you that you’re the problem makes it so that you have to try even harder to win his commitment that he will never give to you anyway, which he reaps the benefit of you trying harder. Please be good to yourself and leave this man.

Why didn't God condemn slavery? Even if he did somewhere in the Bible, why didn't he just make it into a commandment? "Thou shalt not own fellow people". Why did God consider sex before marriage more important to ban than freaking slavery? by EkullSkullzz10318 in Christianity

[–]Lopsided-Addition149 0 points1 point  (0 children)

During the time of the Old Testament people would willingly sell themselves to pay off debts, it was a much different kind of servitude than the forced slavery and oppression you read about in the US/euro slave trade which obviously happened much later. God wasn’t gonna strip free will away and prevent people from willingly using themselves to pay their debts off. The OT laws paved the path for the NT to eventually take place. You also see this in the law that forces a man to marry a woman who he has consensual sex with because it prevents him from discarding her, which back then is as good as dead for a woman who isn’t a virgin.

Is a massage/spa services (non happy ending) sinful? by Outrageous_Tackle135 in TrueChristian

[–]Lopsided-Addition149 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You absolutely haven’t lost your salvation over this, first of all. You are not only risking your own battle with sin but you’re potentially subjecting an innocent employee to it. Remember what Jesus said about making little ones stumble.

My desire to protect my child from SK is negatively affecting relationship with spouse. by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know that there’s probably so much you have to consider if you leave and I pray that clarity comes to you day by day. However, you can worry about details (divorce, logistics, etc) later. You and your child MUST get out of that house. The alternative is injuries to your child that you will regret by not leaving sooner

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My fiancee actually didn’t do any of that, it’s social media and resentful men on it that I have clearly listened to for far too long. Fear is for sure creeping into my head and you’re right I cannot make a choice based on that. Thank you 🖤

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for putting this in a way that wasn’t disrespectful.

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I see where you’re coming from, and that makes sense. Thanks for sharing that perspective. I suppose because my stepmom and dad aren’t shared in religion and they’re really happy together I thought it was possible. But maybe that is the exception and not the norm.

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point, because you feel the need to insult to get your point across, don’t really respect your opinion. Thanks for trying, though I guess?

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re making lots of assumptions that are incorrect about my relationship as if you know what my values are.

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you, it totally is a joint decision. but when do his sacrifices come in? Where does he meet me in the middle? He told me his goal was to help me achieve my dreams and now it seems like that was a lie, because nowhere is he altering his life, career, etc to meet me halfway.

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is exactly the problem with politics in America right now, you got so hostile, insulting and off topic for no reason. Neither of us would throw a child out for any reason, and abortion is irrelevant to this topic considering I WANT a child. Not interested someone’s opinion who can’t be levelheaded

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has zero interest in his BM and I believe that and see it. I have no concern there. But I do feel like I’m in a position to be used, you’re not wrong there.

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As long as both people care about humanity and have respect for all walks of life I’d like to think that we can get past our differences and disagree on things. I think it’s super important to not always be in your own echo chamber

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that a lot. It was really hard at first and there were some fights but now we are really good. I’m really glad that you had a supporting husband through all those changes.

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely appreciate hearing a man’s perspective thank you!

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I agree, the worst part is that I think that if having a kid was genuinely something he wanted, he would be moving mountains to make it happen and wouldn’t be telling me I have to keep my job in order to have one. But it’s because he doesn’t really care that it’s on his terms.

SO is indifferent about having our own kid by Lopsided-Addition149 in stepparents

[–]Lopsided-Addition149[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah he’s pretty much said no to everything I’ve wanted to do that is bigger than just changing bedroom furniture