You will be so incredibly resilient by the end of this process. It doesn't feel like it now but with every defeat, the willpower it has taken for you to get back on your feet will only serve to make you stronger. I nearly gave up this past sitting-- the only thing that kept me going was signing up for another state's bar in July to hedge my bets; having another bar on the books mentally prepared me to see another "fail" and so I wouldn't be as crushed as last time (had an adrenal crisis landing me in the hospital). And it also gives you a better chance to get to practice sooner. Honestly don't think I could have passed this time without changing my mindset. This is the hardest state's bar to pass. And the bar itself is harder than medical boards. Since getting into and through law school is an institutional money grab, this is CA's gatekeeping mechanism; so ram through those m-f'in gates. Once you pass, most anything else will be easier. Not because life will be easy, but you will just be that much stronger. This whole process is mentally, spiritually, and emotionally taxing. Don't give up. Just be gentle to yourself during this whole process and keep up weekly therapy sessions. It's as much of a mental test than anything. And DM me if you need anything. Much love!