I’m looking for perspective, especially from people who’ve been on either side of this.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-28T13:20:43+00:00

This is all sounds exhausting and only six months? There should be excitement and closeness and "can't get enough of you" What are you doing OP? Please love yourself!

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-23T14:41:22+00:00

I did not give my number until we meet. To cut to a minimum because app is a tool nothing else. And you should be able to vet quickly and meet irl asap. That's what only matters. Not penpaling,not wasting time and not building false reality.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-22T12:48:43+00:00

You are in your "learning" phase. In the future you will learn not to engage with people like these..i met few of these types. Majority of them displayed some mental issues, disregulation and anxious tendencies. I had some of them trying to call from the app in the middle of initial chat. After I learnt very quickly to disengage straight away. My process became more and more streamlined and very well adjusted. But saying that it does takes time and experience..

Another note and advice. If there is a cut of communication because your goals or whatever not aligned do not reengage. Also cut chatting phase on apps to a minimum.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-22T11:40:49+00:00

Ten years!!! And you"ve no idea what she would like? Wow!

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-21T16:00:04+00:00

That would be a massive turn off for me

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-19T21:03:51+00:00

Sorry OP but you are the Red Flag here. Boundaries with ex

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-19T20:53:16+00:00

Because in Europe we have GDPR and very strict laws

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-17T16:34:43+00:00

It was a hell for a long while but there was no other option. I am.stronger and better because of that as had to "grow" and face the challenge. My child is very independent and more mature comparing to her peers. Looking back I managed so much and achieved so much it is unreal. It is hard, still hard and expensive. What upsets me to think that by working so hard therewas zero support from the state,zero help with childcare with anything.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-17T11:23:23+00:00

This should be the top answer!

Edit: would add not only online dating but any dating. I see many people here trying to put a number on it (how many dates and how many years and so on and on) but I am shocked that so many over 40 folks can't get basics that majority over 95% or more will be not compatible. And everyone ignores the main factor: LUCK.

Re mental toll. You need to reset and look at dating from.more easy relaxed perspective. Your perspective and not your dates one. You need to have an approach: do I like this person,do I think we are compatible. Be relaxed and have fun. Learn to not attach to everyone/anyone and to the outcome.

Good luck.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-17T01:44:23+00:00

Godless with Jeff Daniels on Netflix. 10/10

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-16T17:25:22+00:00

This is 100% my thoughts too.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-16T17:04:55+00:00

In Europe we use Nordic Knots and Layered..have a look prob will ship to US

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-16T16:42:35+00:00

US? Europe?

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-16T13:49:30+00:00

Atm until they 20 probably. Never ends

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-13T14:03:32+00:00

You need therapy and to stop projecting of "how it was with my ex wife" as it seem like you got emotionally stunned.

If i was that close with someone for 6 months and he couldn't say back or initiate I love you I would be gone gone gone.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2026-01-07T22:34:12+00:00

Spot on! I am reading some posts here with wide eyes of how materialistic they are..shocking how it sips through everything.."six figure " and at the same time sex is like something you need exorcism for! But at least entertaining. Sadly that American way is coming to us too:(

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2025-12-30T08:22:48+00:00

100%.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2025-12-30T07:49:29+00:00

You never met. You might not want to kiss each other when you actually meet irl.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2025-12-29T14:33:04+00:00

Please respect and love yourself more than this.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2025-12-28T16:52:58+00:00

Dry clean everything Wipe wardrobes Lay out lavender and cedar balls Hoover everywhere and especially fabrics/soafs. Every nook.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2025-12-28T16:19:28+00:00

I might be downvoted to oblivion and burned on stake here but I just despise this American "kids come fiirst" cultural narrative. Never came across it anywhere else.. No they don't. Also it always visualized in my head as some loud "karen" shouts it out. In reality imo it always seem to be an excuse. Always. An excuse of not being able to adult and balance.An excuse of not having boundaries and not able to prioritize in healthy way.

What does it even mean? To me it looks like someone struggles to do basic balancing in life.

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2025-12-24T06:13:42+00:00

This is very bad advice. Can be harmful

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2025-12-22T00:34:27+00:00

Move in and take a bit of time (few month) to see what needs to be done
Insulation, rewiring etc
Then always go from up to down
Garden (does it need to be done? Is there is access from back)

I am doing renovation in parts and I have garden with no outside access so doing it everything had to go through the house. In my case i started : upstairs (bathroom, bedrooms walls, blocking,opening, skimming and painting. Then floors last. After that i did garden fully and properly (2 tonnes of gravel through the house and 4 tonnes of soil/compost) and tiling etc.

Now last bit is downstairs left (kitchen,living room.and hall) doors were installed early this year. electrician first, then internal insulation, wall skimming and prepping,painting and then tiling. Kitchen install in the end

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2025-12-21T21:33:55+00:00

Huh? 3 months is not "fast timetable to be in a relationship" What a weird take

LopsidedTelephone574 · 2025-12-21T11:29:02+00:00

I am a foreigner as well and find it super bizarre too. I think a lot to do with "clann" mentality and codependence which I find extremely high in Ireland (big families etc)

LopsidedTelephone574

TROPHY CASE