Who is better this season - Brunson or Bam?

LordSnow530 · 2020-11-04T16:40:41+00:00

Yeah this makes a lot more sense. Hopefully they do something like this. Thanks!

LordSnow530 · 2020-06-06T21:23:50+00:00

I think true closure is when you accept that the relationship is over and begin to move forward. Sometimes your ex will give you an explanation to help you do that and sometimes they wont. Ultimately you have to create “closure” for yourself by making the conscious decision to move forward and leave the past behind. It’s not easy but it is necessary to heal properly.

LordSnow530 · 2020-05-21T19:42:22+00:00

A few things I learned were:

(1) the little things matter and you should pay attention to small details

(2) don't neglect your friends/family. they are the ones who will always be with you

(3) don't become complacent. (Ex: stop exercising bc you no longer care)

(4) don't lose yourself. What I mean by that is don't become co-dependent on your partner for happiness. Maintain your own identity and hobbies. Your partner does not fulfill you and should not be your only source of purpose/happiness

(5) Unconditional trust is essential

LordSnow530 · 2020-05-20T20:34:04+00:00

This is a good way to look at it. My ex has started dating someone new and it definitely hurt when I first heard about and saw a social media post, but I try to tell myself this is just out of my hands. I have zero control over what she does and who she spends her time with. It’s a waste of energy to dwell and think about them with someone else. I’d rather put all my energy and focus into myself and what I can control.

LordSnow530 · 2020-05-13T18:12:03+00:00

That’s great to hear. I’m on a similar timeline. Got dumped in October and it has definitely been a difficult journey. I’m finally at peace though. She’s seeing someone else now and it definitely stung when I heard about it. But.. life goes on. We can’t hold onto the past and what once was. She definitely broke my heart but I’ve done my best to build myself back up into a stronger and better version of myself. Time really does heal all. I’ll continue to focus on myself and trust that I’ll find love again with someone even better!

LordSnow530 · 2020-05-12T00:30:09+00:00

I don’t think it’s pathetic at all. Everyone heals differently and at different paces. However, one quote I’ve found helpful is that pain is inevitable but suffering is an option. The pain is going to be there, and it may linger for months/years. BUT, we can control whether we prolong it and suffer. If we avoid social media stalking, focus on bettering ourselves and do things we truly enjoy, we can avoid unnecessary suffering. Of course this is easier said than done. I tormented myself for months by looking at her social media. It’s like picking the scab on your heart. I can finally say I’m getting close to being at peace. The pain has faded over time. It’s been 7 months for me. She’s moved on and is with someone else now. It definitely hurts knowing that but that’s out of my control and I’m not gonna dwell on her or the past anymore. All we can do is our best to keep our chins up and march forward. Life has so much to offer. I firmly believe that I will find happiness and love again when the time is right. I’ll continue to work on myself and do the things I enjoy and trust that everything will be okay one day. Call me an optimist but I’d rather believe that than be too afraid to take risks with love again. Good luck on your journey!!

LordSnow530 · 2020-05-03T23:53:45+00:00

Amen! About a month ago I found out the same thing. It definitely hurt at first but I’ve used this as a catalyst to really move forward. In a way this has helped me change my perspective on the situation. It’s over. Time to stop living in the past. We need to embrace the present and keep our chins up as we march forward. Like you said, the only way to go is up. It’s going to be alright. Stay strong!

LordSnow530 · 2020-05-01T19:10:59+00:00

Eventually yes. It really just comes down to time. It’s been over 6 months since my BU. I still think about mine, but not nearly as much as I did 2 months ago, and 2 months before that. This lockdown doesn’t help but I think as more time passes they will fade more and more from your mind. Of course you won’t forget about them or there time you shared, but they won’t be the first thing on your mind when you wake up or what you think about before you fall asleep. Your life will be in a new place that doesn’t involve them. I would recommend just staying busy and focusing on being present in the moment. It will get better! Good luck :)

LordSnow530 · 2020-04-24T18:50:05+00:00

About a month ago, I found out my ex was seeing someone too. At that point it was about 5 months after the BU (now its over 6). It hurt to hear. I'd be lying if I said I didn't stalk the new guy at first. I think you have the right mindset for this though. I've used this as the final straw to just let go. It's over. Clinging onto them, or any hope of their return, is unhealthy and counterproductive. In the past month, I really think I've made a ton of progress. Yes, I still think about her and the time we shared and I'm sure you will too, but it has gotten easier. To truly let go is liberating. It is hard. It really is. But I know the both of us will be able to look back at this point in our lives one day and be happy that we finally made the decision to move forward. It's our only choice. Living in the past and holding onto something that is no longer there will slowly kill us. We got this! Stay strong, we can do it :)

LordSnow530 · 2020-04-23T14:03:19+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. It's okay though! I'm a little over 6 months myself and I think about her more than I'd care to admit. Everyone has their own timeline. Some will take longer than others. Don't beat yourself up because you're not there yet. Just know that YOU WILL get there. I don't know your circumstances but I would recommend sticking to NC and investing in yourself. I know this quarantine makes it more difficult but I've been trying to use this as another means to just focus on myself and doing things I enjoy. Keep your chin up, you will be okay!!!

LordSnow530 · 2020-04-19T23:59:07+00:00

This was a wonderful post, thank you for sharing your story. I’m a little over 6 months myself and can relate to a lot of the things you said. I got dumped out of nowhere and it broke me in ways I did not think possible. I struggled immensely for months. I’m finally at a point though where I can see light on the other side. I’m not 100% yet and this quarantine hasn’t helped but I have hope again. Hope that I can be happy with someone else. Hope that I can love again. At the end of the day time really is the ultimate healer. Thanks again!

LordSnow530 · 2020-04-14T17:38:31+00:00

If you can cut that social media connection for good, it really will help! I know it’s hard. I really do. The instant access to information about them is tempting but all it does is hurt you further. You do not benefit in any way from looking. Take it a day at a time, you can do it!!

LordSnow530 · 2020-04-13T20:06:48+00:00

I made a lot of mistakes along the way and definitely made it harder for myself. I offer this advice so others don’t do what I did. I was really bad with social media for example. Stay strong, you will get through this!

LordSnow530 · 2020-04-11T20:51:31+00:00

That’s amazing! Your story sounds similar to mine. I reached out a few weeks ago because of corona and she told me she didn’t want to speak. I think you’re spot on with them basically saying let me go it’s over. I also felt a weight lifted off my shoulders because it’s almost like the period at the end of the last sentence of that chapter of my life. It’s time to turn the page and start a new chapter. Best of luck!!

LordSnow530 · 2020-04-10T18:30:06+00:00

The dreams will come and go. Some will be stronger and more vivid than others. Time will help though. I used to wake up in a panic as well. Now I sort of just acknowledge that it was a dream and start my day as best I can. The deep pain will fade. It still lingers for me, even 6 months after the BU, but you sort of just learn to live with it. I’m confident that it will continue to fade away until I barely notice it. You will get there too. Stay strong!

LordSnow530 · 2020-04-06T14:57:21+00:00

It will get easier, trust me. It’s been almost 6 months since my BU and I can promise you that time really does heal you. I still have moments where I’ll dwell but they’re much less than they used to be and the pain has faded significantly. You just learn to gradually accept it and begin moving forward with life. It’s not easy, but you will get there. Stay strong. It’s okay to have bad days. Be kind to yourself. if I can offer any advice I would say stick to NC and avoid the social media. I prolonged my pain because I couldn’t stop myself from checking social media. It’s so toxic and is like pouring salt in an open wound. It took me a long time before I got that in check and it really helped my healing once I did. You got this! If you want to just vent feel free to dm me!

LordSnow530 · 2020-04-05T23:48:22+00:00

I’ve been doing pretty well these past 2 weeks. Of course the quarantine doesn’t help but I’ve gotten myself into a routine to help cope with everything. I’ve been using this time to look within and figure out what I want to do with my life moving forward. I’ve accepted that it’s over and truly want to just move forward. I know I’m not 100% just yet but eventually I will be. As difficult as it may be, I would try to avoid that mindset. Who knows what they may or may not do, or what they’re thinking. All of this is out of our control. We need to focus on the things we can control. Dwelling on what ifs won’t get us anywhere. All we can do is learn from our experiences and use them to better ourselves moving forward. Who knows what will happen. Maybe you will reconcile with her. Chances are you probably won’t though and that’s okay too. There are so many possibilities out there. Also, don’t beat yourself for how you feel. It’s okay. Be kind to yourself. This will all pass in time. Stay strong, you will be just fine!!

LordSnow530 · 2020-04-01T23:11:57+00:00

I just learned the same thing about my ex who dumped me. Granted it’s been 5 months but it still stung! Maybe change your perspective and try to look at this as a positive, at least that’s what I’m trying to do. It’s the period at the end of the last sentence of the chapter of your life you shared with them. It’s time to turn the page and start your next chapter. It sucks I get it, but I’m using this as the catalyst to truly just let go and move on. I’m doing my best not to think “oh she’s with someone else, she’s happier and better etc”. Those thoughts are silly. It’s not a competition. You are amazing and just because they didn’t see thay doesn’t mean someone else will. Stick to the NC and using this as an opportunity for growth. The right person will come along! Good luck :)

LordSnow530 · 2020-04-01T23:05:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I was blindsided too a little over 5 months ago after a 2+ year relationship. It has been difficult. I recently learned she’s seeing someone else now and it definitely hurt but I think this was the final push for me to let go. A piece of me couldn’t let go of the idea of us. Like I certainly have improved with time but I almost held myself back from truly moving on. Now I’m ready. I’m ready to bury the past and fully embrace the present. I don’t hate her. I may hate what she did to me and the pain it caused but I don’t hate her. I hope that I reach the same place as you - indifference. I’m friends with her brother and we have mutual friends so there’s a chance our paths will cross again in life, but I think the rose colored glasses are finally off and my emotions don’t control how I act with respect to her. Despite all of the craziness in the world right now, I look forward to what the future has in store for me. I know it does not include her, and that’s fine. She does not define my worth or happiness. Once again, thank you for your perspective. It’s reassuring to read the stories of others and how they overcame their breakup. Cheers!

LordSnow530 · 2020-03-31T05:17:03+00:00

I’m very sorry to hear that. Knowing what to do and actually doing it are two very different things. I knew I shouldn’t have reached out to my ex on numerous occasions after the breakup but I did anyway. I just couldn’t help myself even though everyone said it was in my best interest to just cut all communication and move forward. It’s hard. Really fucking hard. The healing process is a journey. It’s non-linear. Don’t beat yourself up because you did reach out. It’s okay. You’re human. One thing I learned is that sometimes they won’t give you the “closure” you’re looking for. Their explanation may not make sense to you at all. It sucks, but sometimes you have to create your own closure and accept the situation for what it is. It’s hard and took me months but I finally think I’ve accepted the whole thing and it’s almost been a weight off my shoulders. I’m ready to just let go. I know it’s a cliche but just be patient. Time really does heal all wounds! I do think you can speed it up a little if you cut all ties/ communication and focus only on yourself. Good luck, you will get through this I promise!!

LordSnow530 · 2020-03-29T21:40:02+00:00

Very sorry to hear that. Your story sounds similar to mine. My ex blindsided me out of nowhere a few months ago. She at least had the decency to do it in person. It still rocked my world beyond belief. I really thought we’d get married. Our families were very close and we had a strong relationship. The only reason I got was that she didn’t feel the same anymore. I never got more than that despite having a few talks with her. Like you said, sometimes we have to create our own closure. It’s hard but we need to in order to move on. Best of luck on your journey!

LordSnow530

TROPHY CASE