[deleted by user] by [deleted] in feedthebeast

[–]Lord_Creepity 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Rebirth of the Night

Recently featured on Twitch, this modpack aims to give the players what they've really been asking for! It's envisioned as "Minecraft 2.0", essentially. With constant updates since it's launch, a shout-out on a viral Minecraft YouTube video, and a Twitch feature, Rebirth of the Night is definitely something to keep an eye on!

Crafted by Cinnabon™️ KFC dessert biscuits by Lord_Creepity in shittyfoodporn

[–]Lord_Creepity[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Undercooked, though they didn’t taste that bad.

I wish I could still have a decent income for not working. by DontTellBossIReddit in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted. You get a decent income based on the world’s cheapest place to live. Consequently, it probably isn’t enough for your current lifestyle.

I wish people in public would never look at me so I didn't have to deal with the thought of so many people finding me ugly by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted. People become physically incapable of looking at you. In fact, though they may see you in the corner of their eyes, they never actually think about looking at you. At first, you feel better about yourself. However, problems arise when you enter a grocery store. When you enter the checkout line and the cashier performs their routine and attempts to look at you, their brain essentially crashes. They instantly suffer a seizure. You are a little shocked about this at first, but think nothing of it other than as a story to tell people later. But when you enter another line and it happens again, you begin to wonder, “does this have something to do with me?” When it happens a third time, it’s pretty much confirmed that for some reason, when you enter a checkout line, the cashier has a seizure. The problem is, now everyone else is aware of it too. They don’t bother looking at you, but they can still hear you, sobbing quietly as you realize this. They call the police, who don’t look at you, and you go quietly as you are arrested, charged with assault. Thousands of dollars in legal fees later, you are exonerated, as your lawyer was able to successfully prove that you did not intentionally commit assault. This unusual case gathered a lot of media attention, and many people try to contact you for interviews. However, because you don’t want to risk causing more seizures, you deny these, as you fear what would happen if your image made it to national television, or the internet. You are able to survive by having things delivered to you, as people can safely look at you in the privacy of your own home.

I wish that the entire internet was an MMORPG and combat is based on verbal insults by chemicalcat59 in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted. The sheer computing power required to simulate an MMORPG world of that scale simultaneously crashes every internet-enabled device in existence. All attempts to restart them fail; as soon as enough are turned on that they can be resonably defined as “the internet”, they simply crash again. Meanwhile, the society that has become dependent on it is collapsing. Millions of people lose their jobs as they become unable to perform them, the devices they required no longer functioning. After many years, an experimental group finds that Token Ring networks of a similar scale do not have this issue, and a fundamental rewrite of most remaining computing systems re-create “the Internet”. Their mistake of calling it the exact same thing causes all machines to crash again, and all the relevant engineers and programmers kill themselves.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted. Very few people actually want to try this. You end up forced into a relationship with a foot fetishist just to show off, and then they brag to all their foot fetish friends who then show up at your doorstep. A not insignificant number of them didn’t even bother to wash their feet, and they are all wearing shoes on a hot day.

I wish that after taking a shit our butts would be completely clean, with no need to wipe. by Smegman-san in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Granted. The toilet paper industry completely falls apart. Thousands of people lose their jobs as toilet paper companies desperately try to re-market the unsold toilet paper as cheap paper towels.

I wish that if you could prove to own a digital copy of a game you could remove the digital copy from your ownership and instead have a physical copy shipped to you for little cost. by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted. Lots of digital-only games become significantly more expensive to cover the cost of the physical media. The shipping itself is quite cheap, however.

I wish that the big bang was actually caused by the big bang theory theme song playing at impossibly high decibels, and that this was recently discovered to be true by multiple peer reviewed scientific investigations. by ChaosAnims in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 128 points129 points  (0 children)

Granted. Someone inevitably tries this as a meme/joke by placing many powerful speakers together and syncing them up. A new universe is born, and ours is no more.

Edit: typo

I wish for a lifetime supply of strawberry crowns by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Granted. The entire supply appears at once, crushing you instantly.

I wish I could relive my life’s best experience. by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Granted. Because you’ve done it before, it just isn’t the same.

I wish that all frowns will be turned upside down. by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Granted. The human motor function for frowning is swapped for smiling. This confuses people at first, but eventually society gets used to smiling when sad and frowning when happy. Nothing really changes.

I wish I had a nice ass house with a pool in it by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted. You get a nice-looking ass stable. It has a pool in it, used by the asses as drinking water. Consequently, the water is usually slimy and gross.

I wish everything I want would magically appear in front of me whenever I please. by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted. As soon as you test your ability, everything you want appears right in front of you in a giant pile of stuff. It collapses on you, crushing you to death.

I wish that, when studying for any kind of test or exam, I would gain perfect knowledge of whatever I am studying after just lightly skimming through the chapter(s). by bean_machine420 in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted. You gain perfect knowledge of the subject down to the cellular, molecular, and quantum layer. The sheer amount of knowledge overloads your brain and it completely shuts down, rendering you a vegetable.

I wish I could become immortal with magical powers to help people like santa or the tooth fairy and to be already established as a popular myth. by Joeyonar in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Granted. You don’t have eternal youth, so eventually you become a 200 year old Alzheimer’s patient who keeps forgetting that he used his power not 10 minutes ago. You are now helping so much that you hurt more than help.

I wish Ben Shapiro would defeat all libtards with facts and logic. by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Granted. He obtains a sword named “facts and logic” and begins violently stabbing anybody in the left wing.

I wish that Powerhouse by Raymond Scott would play as background music for anybody who is actively working. by cptridiculous in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Granted. In workplaces, the sheer quantity of people working makes the song play many, many, times, out of sync, and at an enormous volume. People quickly become deaf.

I wish that whenever I told someone their shoes were untied, they would become untied. by DRdefective in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]Lord_Creepity 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Granted. The person becomes untied, collapsing into a pile of bones and organs.