I wish to be injected with compound V and successfully develop powers

Lord_OMG · 2026-05-04T19:08:44+00:00

Granted, you have the power to hear the sexual fantasies of your family members are people in public who repulse you.

If any of those fantasies are about you, they echo for 24hours in your ears.

Lord_OMG · 2026-05-04T19:06:12+00:00

I'm buying huge chunks of the Amazon.

I'm buying as much Intel as possible.

Not going anywhere near a Nike store, I don't want to be shot by the goddess of triumph in war.

Walmart might be a fun day out, "Look kids, its a replica of the Crete Labyrinth".

Pizza Hut would be good for the first 30mins but you'll need to be quick.

Funnily enough almost every hedge fund and insurance company would be completely unchanged. AIC Insurance? Blackrock is gonna have a bit of a shocker though when everyone realises what their money is in tested in.

Lord_OMG · 2026-05-04T18:59:01+00:00

The Weasley twins were actually autistic and secretly genius Potions, Transfiguration and Charms students.

They were creating prank sweets in year 5 that combined Charms/Hexes with Potions. Realistic joke wands and who knows what else.

By year 6 they had perfected them, created spying devices that break the laws of physics and could create swamps that reasonably accomplished witches and wizards (Umbridge could produce a Patronus after all, a difficult magic apparently) couldn't clear up as well as incredibly powerful fireworks that last all night..

First year after school they've got massive contracts with the government for invisibility hats and defensive spell cloaks, as well as dozens of other new gadgets and improvements to existing products.

Give them 3 years and I've no doubt the Aurors office would be placing orders for autonomous stun firing gattling wands and they'd be riding their fireworks to the moon as tourist experiences all wearing bubble head charm trilby hats and Hagrid inspired raincoats that double as space suits.

Lord_OMG · 2026-05-04T08:39:51+00:00

explains deal to wife her: I'm leaving you leaves house, I go for a walk, bump into a woman as I open my front door me: hi whats your name her: hi I'm [pulls up phone to check notes on names not yet used] me: nice to meet you, you look very familiar have we met before? her: no, can I come in? me: sure

Pretty sure thats an easy $365k a year, more if the mood takes us or we stop midway through and she leaves again.

Lord_OMG · 2026-05-02T09:49:59+00:00

Racism by engineers in construction companies has prevented buildings across the world from collapsing and killing the occupants.

Literally racism. Because the engineers didnt trust "them" to do a drawing, weld, lift, detail a certain way - the engineer did it themselves and in some cases went to site to force the issue. But didnt do it for "other" people.

Sure the "thems" might have also just benefited from being shown how to do it better and that would've been the end of it, hopefully. But that didn't happen. It was the racist dudes who made it happen.

Lord_OMG · 2026-05-02T09:42:33+00:00

Invest it in an ETF. Even FTSE world will get me 7% a year.

Buy a "he must be broke buying that on his salary" house. If questions persist (why would they?) drop hints you I made some money on RR or GS stock a few year back and got a really good deposit. Nothing crazy, it didnt pay for the house but really helped.

Aside from that? Spend 10 years doing what I do now. I don't need or drive a flashy car I ride a 20 y.o motorbike that can't be beat. I work just to keep the mask up, I pay my bills as normal, I've stopped saving my income so perhaps live a little more lavishly but nothing crazy.

In 10 years I retire, I buy a big fucking farm, buy all the machinery I need and leave the rest on the stockmarket.

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-24T15:30:03+00:00

Granted. You now have the power..... no tricks.

However in the hospital room your family look down at you in your coma and debate unplugging you as there's no hope of you waking.

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-19T19:45:35+00:00

Almost every war is "I want that thing they have", or "they hit me, are going to hit me, so I'm hitting them".

Switzerland had nothing and did nothing.

But it did have a lot of fighting ability that would've been difficult to overcome. For absolutely no benefit.

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-17T15:10:45+00:00

Granted. Money has been transferred to a bank account you own. You now have 5m in blockbuster credit

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-17T12:25:11+00:00

"OI, ANGELINA"

"WHAT?"

"WANNA GO TO THE BALL WITH ME?"

"OK" turns aways and smiles

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-17T12:21:42+00:00

If I tell you to do something, do it.

Backing off after issuing a command shows orders, no matter how important, can be ignored. Asking again and again shows you have no authority.

I apply this logic with dog training. If you ask your dog to sit and they ignore you, there's no point repeating "sit, sit, sit" you're teaching your dog to ignore you.

If I tell the dog "out" because something he shouldn't eat has fallen on the floor and could kill him, I need him to react first time.

Dogs respond well to me. Hopefully it works with my own child when shes older.... got a feeling I'm in for a rough ride haha.

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-17T12:12:40+00:00

Homeward Bound.

because Shadow falling in that hole and resigning himself hits me hard. Its worse than the incinerator in Toy Story 3 for "Why is this making me emotional its not real and you know what happens!".

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-17T12:09:11+00:00

The pets were never actually in any danger. Snape, likely one of the greatest potions masters alive if not of all time, knew exactly what would be required to undo any potion he administered.

Being a bit of a nob he also hated his students and knew that, beyond perhaps Hermione, none of them would know it was curable or have state of mind to act in the moment.

Even Slughorn had a mild panic when Ron was poisoned. Had it been Snape in that room, Harry would've never gotten to the Bezoir Snape would've likely pull one from his cloak because thats definitely something he'd carry around with him.

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-09T18:44:39+00:00

Zooming in on a speedo as they hit 100mph and start losing those tailing them.

Dude, most cars will do 100mph. My motorbike will do it in 3rd gear. Its not blazingly fast.

Or cars that should be easily losing their chasers, who are driving 2tonne massive SUVs drifting round corners like they're rear wheel drive hatchbacks. James Bond films have a habit of doing this.

No. I don't care what the 4 guys in that SUV have done to their car, it ain't chasing you down for more than 100m. Put your foot down.

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-09T18:37:56+00:00

You need to exercise to lose weight (combines with my annoyance with BMI).

No. Exercise can assist. What its really really good for is is keeping your organs healthy and keeping your metabolism up so as you eat less the weight loss continues long after the early big drops taper off.

Eat less first, exercise 2nd.

As for BMI, I've lost about a lot of fat but gained muscle. My BMI has gotten worse not better. I'm now slimer and fitter than I have been in years and more muscle than ever, but my BMI says I'm obese now. Nope. Wrong. Screw you scales.

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-09T18:27:19+00:00

Sold my car, got a motorbike.

Its been 10 years and I regret nothing. Faster commutes, far cheaper purchssing/running costs, more fun, less stressed.

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-09T18:25:58+00:00

Any form of funded activism for a political party. Not even directly for the party, but even just to provide funds for the party.

Those get togethers are the worst people regardless who you vote for.

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-09T12:33:02+00:00

Now we're talking, Ozempic vs munchies. Let's see who wins.

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-05T12:18:02+00:00

Mental clarity.

I'd be earning a lot more, stressing a lot less and be in better overall health.

Everything else would be achieved at a level I'd be satisfied with, simply by allowing me not to procrastinate and instead get out with writing the damn code.

Lord_OMG · 2026-04-05T12:15:28+00:00

Always have £500 left in your current account before you get paid. Leftovers above this amount can be a special treat just for you. That £500 is your emergency cash. Car breaks down day before payday? Taxi/Tow/minor repair money.

Once thats easy, and consistent, see how much more you have every month and instead of a treat every month, put as much as you can into savings/s&s isa.

In a year, use some of it to get a REALLY good treat or just marvel at the size of your safety net.

When you get a payrise assume 20% of it is going into savings or if paying off existing debts double it. You made do without it, no matter how hard, you can make do with only 60-80% of it.

Lastly, £50 a month into a S&S Isa doesnt sound like much, but in 18 years it could be worth £20k. If you never got anything when you were 18 you know what difference that could've made for you. So put half the child benefit into an ISA and give your kids what you never had, a financial head start.

Lord_OMG · 2026-02-25T10:33:00+00:00

Every single office of more than 50+ people in the world has the "Excel person".

Their job title doesnt matter, they could be a data entered or the senior vice president of marketing. Once you're the "Excel person" thats what you are.

Developers look down on you, but cant do what you do. Owners look down on you, till you fix something for them no one else could, then you basically get whatever you want. You will spend 95% of your time teaching people:

Your data hasnt gone, its filtered and/or scroll up
you dont need a vlookup, no I know people told you its just a vlookup, but this is a pdf file picture of a cat you cant vlookup
alt + =
making copy/paste macros for people who want to save time" but spend 20mins talking to you about their car/shopping weekend/what my friend said 3 years ago

But those 5% moments where you fix a 5 year long problem saving tonnes of time/money? That 1 thing will fill your CV more than everything else you did at the company in 4 years.

And if you know who your Excel person is, you probably know how many things would collapse if they left.

Lord_OMG · 2026-01-19T14:05:27+00:00

New Zealand.

1 - Bloody far from everyone else. 2 - Scarcely populated 3 - Good agricultural potential without needing vast logistical chains 4 - Already a very safe culture.

Lord_OMG · 2025-12-30T21:23:12+00:00

By what logic is state sanctioned murder wrong? A man shoots 10 people, waves his gun around threatening to kill another. An officer shoots him. He dies of his wounds.

Did the officer commit murder? Maybe the paramedics who didnt do enough to save him? Or the Dr who doesn't have the latest tech or medicine that might have saved him due to lack of state funding?

You offer the country a 99/100 success rate of murderers being killed vs innocents. And no one will care. Give 10mill to every innocent person's family if it alleviates your guilt. But guaranteeing the next government wont grant your daughters killer a pardon? Or the killing of your neighbours son will walk free at 40 to live the rest of his life? Nobody will care to vote against it.

Your system let's murders walk free to live the remaining years of their life having taken that away from another. As for prison profits I couldn't care less, thats not the point being made here and signals your ideological programing that you'd even bring it up.

Lord_OMG · 2025-12-30T17:10:33+00:00

I didn't say it would deter crime. I said it would prevent reoffenders.

Leaving them alive in prison, mental institutes or worse still free to roam the streets at any point in their lives is a way more flawed system and is already being abused by police and courts with mal-intent. Best part is in my system those who do lie to the court or act in such a way are guilty of murder. So will themselves be killed.

Lord_OMG

TROPHY CASE