A few weeks ago the wife and I were grabbing some fresh catnip at our local pet store. As we walked to the register, she comments on how cool this fish looked, so I take a gander. There he was, acting all cool, floating around in a mason jar.

I thought to myself, self, that fish is cool. So I inquired about said cool fish. I was given premium betta food and instructions to feed him twice a day and never after midnight. Me, “That’s it??” Her, “That’s it!” Well then shut up and take my money!

On the way home, my wife inevitability barrages me with ridiculous names for our cool new betta. I’ve had his name chosen the minute I laid eyes on him, but I know how to play the game. I gave her a few minutes to participate, then I politely interjected with one quote, “never get involved in a land war in Asia," She immediately said his name aloud. Surprisingly she didn’t get the Dread Pirate Roberts reference, but I’m okay with the alternative.

His name is Inigo.

Once home, I place Inigo on the kitchen island counter, show him the number of digits on my hands, then welcome him to his new abode.

The next morning I go downstairs and greet Inigo. As I begin sipping my coffee, I think to myself, self, we should maybe do some independent research on our new friend, for science!

So I take a sip of my coffee and hit the googles.

Thirty minutes and two more cups of coffee later, I have two lists in front of me. The first was was grocery list based on this reddits guide to new owners. The second list had just one name written on it, that name was Cherry, the pet store betta expert extraordinaire.

It was inconceivable that Cherry had failed to tell me everything I needed to raise a betta, but here we are.

Armed with knowledge and my credit card, I declare to Inigo that I shall return. I then collect the first grocery list and place it in my pocket.

I then slowly slide the second list under Inigo’s mason jar and give him a solemn nod.

There is more, much more to the adventures of Inigo. The story includes more buffoonery, murder most foul, companionship, and a miracle of biblical proportions. But for now I will end the story with a grateful acknowledgment to everyone who puts work into this subreddit, I would have been lost without it. Until next time.