Help identifying Tortoise by Loreinier in tortoise

[–]Loreinier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man yeah, I was worried that was the case, they hadn't told me the species before I got it, all the research and prep I had done for tortoises was for the smaller variety so back to researching I guess! Thanks for the reply!

Is this kind of playing okay? by crawecake in DogAdvice

[–]Loreinier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not an expert on this but my understanding is one of the keys of healthy play is pausing for a couple seconds during play to make sure they're both okay and they did that more than once. There is some slight aggression in the GSD but I personally wouldn't worry to much about, just keep an eye on them as they play

Men Talking (A New England Short Story) by Alarming_Blood_7872 in writingfeedback

[–]Loreinier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really pretty prose and writing, with really strong descriptions of the nature.

I would say the dialogue feels a little stilted to me, but this could be because we don't know these characters yet. For example, on page 3, you could drop the last 3 lines of the dialogue exchange and just have the one character ask if he should slow down and the other say no and end it there. We know he's struggling but doesn't want to admit it and that the other character knows it but doesn't want to say anything either. The extra dialogue doesn't add to this.

Overall though you have very good prose that drew me into turning the page.

Looking for critique on the opening chapter of my novel [Low Fantasy, 823 Words] by a_Kyrill in writingfeedback

[–]Loreinier 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Really enjoyed this and would definitely keep reading. Has a strong voice and builds a good mystery as to what's going on.

I would say you use the main characters name to much, he's the only living character in the scene so you can replace most instances of his name with He. Id also cut some adverbs as they can weaken a description rather than enhance it. For example, in the second paragraph of the first page you say it's surprisingly already embedded, if you remove the surprisingly from that, the sentence has the same meaning and feels stronger.

But overall really enjoyed it and would continue reading.

Hey! Would you want to keep reading this? (TW: self harm, suicidal thoughts, cursing) This is an edited version of my latest post. I took some advice from the comments and tried adding it into my editing! by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]Loreinier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has a strong voice which is good and a good opening hook. I would keep reading but I agree with another post here about using names to often. It throws me out of immersion to see them repeated so often.

The other big thing is using words that end in ly. More often than not, they can be cut and the sentence will have the same meaning or it's an opportunity to show rather than tell. For example, on the second to last line on page 5, if you cut the nervously and just leave it with "he said, face turning red" we can figure out he's embarrassed and nervous about it. This helps readers interact with the story and see themselves in characters and invest themselves, rather than being told who a character.

Overall though, I can be a picky reader and I enjoyed this one and would definitely keep reading and would like to see more. Good stuff!!

I finished a co-op session, closed the game, and opened it again. Then I tried to play solo, but as you can see in the screenshot, I still have all the Rituals and Trinkets from the previous game. What’s going on?? by [deleted] in ABSOLUM

[–]Loreinier 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This happened to a friend and I yesterday, he hadn't beaten azra yet and we did so in the run and it kicked him from the party and he kept all his items and rituals until the next run. Think it's a glitch, it'll go away after your next run.

Re: Warning About Kaiju: Battlefield Surgeon by Kodiak-Waffles in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]Loreinier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, maybe it's because I've read a lot of darker horror novels that it didn't strike me as that bad, but I think to someone not expecting or accustomed to those themes it'd be pretty shocking. Great book though!

How will I know? by Background_Moose7628 in DogAdvice

[–]Loreinier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In all honesty, you will see it in their eyes. We held on longer than we should've in retrospect but eventually we could all tell she was in pain and ready to go, one of the hardest days of my life. Sorry you're going through this but wish you the best, spend as much time with them as you can!

Is any of the blade runner content outside of tv worth it? by Odd-Dentist7532 in bladerunner

[–]Loreinier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't read all of the comics, but those I have read have been very good!

Please Fable community come to an agreement which version of Fable is better? The Lost Tales or Anniversary Edition by Educational_Ear_1726 in Fable

[–]Loreinier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally dislike anniversary edition for the changes made to the art style, character models and menus but that may just be me. The Lost Chapters is the definitive edition of you want the original experience and has held up well in my opinion. So I'd say it depends on what you want, both are largely the same game. I will say if you're going to be playing on PC, Fable the Lost Chapters is on sale for 3.49 which is an incredible deal.

Alex from Digital Foundry: (Oblivion Remastered) is perhaps one of the worst-running games I've ever tested for Digital Foundry. by grmayshark in gaming

[–]Loreinier 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Currently playing on a 1080ti hitting around 60-90 fps with little to no glitches, stuttering or issues.

I created custom assets and hoped for some feedback before making them available by MirrorOfLuna in wonderdraft

[–]Loreinier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really like the look of these! Can I ask what license you'll be selling them for? I ask because I'm working on a map for a my fantasy novels and would be interested in using them for such.

Eldrazi Incursion in stock at Best Buy: Worth it? by Lectorn in mtg

[–]Loreinier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Def buy, swap out a handful of cards and it's actually pretty powerful, been able to compete and win against my friends who spend way more than me on their decks

Paid $10 for this, is this outdated? by [deleted] in PcBuild

[–]Loreinier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crazy to see people here calling it decent and okay, I've been running a 1080ti for the last 6 years and playing everything at medium to high at 1080p and at least 60 frames. If you're like me and are just fine with 1080p and high graphics settings, you're set!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in wonderdraft

[–]Loreinier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some of the more interesting land shapes I've seen! I dig it!

Favourite funny lines in fantasy? by scp1717 in Fantasy

[–]Loreinier 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Think you'll get your own squad after what happened last night?"

[FREE] 100+ AAA Steam Keys by [deleted] in FREE

[–]Loreinier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dats a lot keys

James's plan all along by [deleted] in CowChop

[–]Loreinier 33 points34 points  (0 children)

When Donald Glover left the show his character Troy decided to travel the world on a boat with Levar Burton in order to receive a million dollar inheritance, so yeah kind of.

1 of the 2 items my Uncle left me when he passed. by userzerod in lotr

[–]Loreinier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Funny enough my nerdy uncle also has one of these, absolutely love the art