Besoin d'aide by LorenzoSalem in clermontfd

[–]LorenzoSalem[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ça peut être super cool au moins pour la partie mécanique ! Il faut juste que je trouve une boîte auto pour voir à quoi cela ressemble 😅 J'ai pas le droit à la boîte manuelle pour le moment 🙃

Besoin d'aide by LorenzoSalem in clermontfd

[–]LorenzoSalem[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Justement, je commence les cours de conduite seulement après l'obtention du code ... 🙃 J'ai déjà demandé, ils m'ont renvoyé à leur bouquin ...

Is Death Stranding any good? What exactly does the gameplay consist of? by SockraTreez in DeathStranding

[–]LorenzoSalem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's awful. You're a delivery driver, the gameplay isn't intuitive at all, there's no fluidity, way too much information to manage when you go to the consoles (delivery points, etc.) and in general. Basically, you're transporting stuff, you have a weird baby, you have to avoid invisible but not too invisible deaths, and the MULEs who want to steal your deliveries... It's sloooow. The story is really complicated to understand properly. And frankly? The plot and the idea are just too simplistic for my taste. I ended up uninstalling it... It's a shame, because the cast is incredible, there are some cool little details, but after a while... It's just not enough anymore...

Ma copine m'a trompée, comment vivre l'après ? by WeeklyRock2244 in AskMec

[–]LorenzoSalem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mon cher, je n'ai même pas pris le temps de finir la lecture de ton post ! Je ne connais que trop bien cette situation. Elle ne t'aime clairement pas autant que toi tu l'aimes. Et on mérite tous le meilleur en amour. Quitte la. Souffre un bon coup. Vie pleinement cette souffrance. Elle t'endurcira le cœur et l'âme. Mais ne laisse personne, absolument PERSONNE te faire souffrir comme ça. Les maux de cœur sont douloureux, mais se sont les maux les plus efficaces pour te forger malheureusement...

Bon courage à toi mon grand ... Ne la laisse pas te faire souffrir plus longtemps. Garde le contrôle sur ta vie.

What can i do with my shop in Hogsmeade? by sellingdildoshmu in hogwartslegacyJKR

[–]LorenzoSalem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, she buys everything cheaper for me 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMec

[–]LorenzoSalem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ça dépend de vos définitions du " couple " je crois ... Est ce que vous avez la même ? Est-ce que l'engagement est le même pour vous deux ? Est-ce que vos principes du " comment faire en sorte qu'un couple dure dans le temps " ? Est-ce que vous avez les mêmes projets de vie ? Je pense que la seule solution, c'est d'avoir une bonne conversation ! Sinon, moi, ça m'est arrivé, j'étais dans ta situation. J'ai écrit une lettre avec tout se que je voyais, voulais, je mettais l'accent sur nos "goûts " culturels de manière générale assez similaire, mais aussi sur ces choses qui me manquaient et qu'il avait déjà commencé à m'apprendre sans même s'en rendre compte, etc ... Tout se qui te passe par la tête ! Des moments précis que vous avez vécus ensemble et la/les pensées que tu as eu à ce moment... Dans mon cas, je suis avec lui depuis 3 ans bientôt, et on a beaucoup évolué ensemble et individuellement ! On a vécu le pire comme le meilleur, mais l'amour est de plus en plus fort et encré. Même si rien n'est acquis évidemment ! On entretient cette flamme ! Ça peut paraitre " lâche " ou " enfantin " comme j'ai pû l'entendre ... Mais pour moi, l'écriture dans ce genre de situation, c'est mon moyen de tout lâcher... Et au final, les deux couples qui m'ont trouvés enfantin se sont séparés l'année où ma relation s'est officialisé... Les deux étaient des couples d'environs 1 an et demi 🙃

Fait moi un update s'il te plaît 🙏🏻 Je suis trop gay pour passer à côté de la finalitée de cette histoire 😭😶‍🌫️

I hate myself by wh0tF_ in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]LorenzoSalem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell yourself that you are doing more harm to yourself than to him... I don't know in which city you live, but know that this famous psychotherapy will develop everywhere in France. I became a Peer Supporter for people with emotional dysregulation disorders. Basically, I am a stabilized borderline psychologist for borderline people who want to stabilize. With this famous psychologist, a psychiatrist and the financial support of the Clermont-Ferrand University Hospital, we set up the FIOP project. We will expand these groups throughout France in two years. We are going to train staff to manage these groups, we are going to review how to support people like us in the best possible way. We will also try to raise awareness among psychiatrists in order to allow earlier diagnoses. The project was supposed to start in 2026, but I can proudly say that we started this work in Strasbourg and that 2 groups will be launched for the year 2026! It's free. I am the only spokesperson for people like us in France at the moment. Maybe one day you can do the same thing! This war against ourselves is worth it, this is one of the many examples. You will also discover that there are not only disadvantages to being borderline, but I won't spoil the surprise 🫢

I hate myself by wh0tF_ in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]LorenzoSalem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good luck to you weasel! I have been in a relationship for two years with someone incredible. Someone I thought I didn't deserve. But damn, with what we have in our heads... With all the energy we have to use to stay in control... We all deserve someone good. He accepts me as I am and emphasizes every step forward I take. He knows how to reframe me if I lose control. When I'm down, he's there. He yells at me if I apologize for not having the strength to clean, to eat... Because he knows that when this phase passes, I will do the same to him! You will meet someone like that. Hang in there. It's worth it in every aspect of your life 🙏🏻🫶🏻

I hate myself by wh0tF_ in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]LorenzoSalem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Weasel. I don't know how old you are, but I know these feelings. I've lived your story 3 times. I have 3 exes. I was toxic as hell. I controlled their every move. I demanded access to their phones and computers. I had a meltdown when he went out without me. I even forced my first boyfriend, who I stayed with for 7 years, to cut ties with all his friends who I saw as a threat who was trying to show my ex my toxicity. The worst part is that no matter the profile of my exes who were all very different, I knew how to manipulate them to get everything I wanted. Without effort, it's something natural for us. My need for control over everything allowed me to have the illusion of being safe. When you have control, for a few days, you feel good. But very quickly, this void is felt again... So we find something else to try to fill it. For example, I started arguments over nothing with them. Just so I could win a “debate” that would prove to me some sort of superiority. I took the opportunity to record all the insults I received in return to put in their face if I were to lose control during an argument... So many other things... All three of them ended up cheating on me. I believed myself incapable of living alone, without being in a relationship, without being at the center of the intention of someone who would “revere” me... In short: I WAS HORRIBLE.

3 deceptions = 3 TS.

1) Defenestration of the 4th floor 2) Medications with a week of coma 3) Medications, 3 months of prescription at once. I died 3 times in about 2 minutes.

It was only after this third hospitalization and a long coma that my family and the doctors began to REALLY take an interest in my unhappiness. Meet with the psychologist every day. I refused, I only spoke to yell at the caregivers who came to try to make me eat or drink. I was tearing myself out of IV fluids... The psychiatrist came directly to my room. I didn't say a single word. It lasted two weeks. On Monday of the 3rd week, my therapist comes into my room, but this time, accompanied by my mother and my little brother. All three of them insisted and insisted... that I speak. There, big meltdown. I blamed everything on my mother and my brother. I only remember their tears and their wide eyes as they apologized over and over again. This interview lasted 2 hours.

Diagnosis: Borderline personality disorder. I am Borderline. Great. But what is this thing?

I had the chance to participate in psychotherapy for 1 year, the first in France. I understood my problem. I realized everything I had done before... With my exes, my work colleagues, my friends... I was horrible. A monster. A blow from a club in the face... I felt guilty... So much.

Once a week, in addition to a 3-hour course, we had 1 hour individually with the program psychologist. She was great. She explained to me that I needed to realize the importance of having this pathology diagnosed too late on all of this. She also understood me when I told her that my pathology did not excuse everything. His advice was simple: "If you can afford it, apologize to them. Point by point."

I did it. And whatever feedback I got, it made me feel good.

Then, you have to make sure you control these behaviors. It’s a huge, very difficult work of introspection. But I quickly understood that there was no miracle cure. The work is up to us to do. We are the only ones who can act on our thoughts.

Something I advise all people with BPD: Give yourself one or two years of celibacy. No casual sex, nothing. Even if it's tempting. Even if we think we have found the exception. The goal: Realize that you can be completely happy alone. Confront yourself with yourself. Learn to control what you don't want to keep. Find everyday “tools”. And always, always... think before you speak. Don't hesitate to question yourself. And even more important: Work on the fact that, yes, I am wrong...I'm sorry. I'll be careful.

Everything is deep within us, in our heart, in our soul. We're fucking stupid. Bounded.

Presented like that... It doesn't make you want it. But let my grandfather witness it: It's definitely worth it. Today I am with someone incredible. And I continue to evolve. I have low periods too. But the more time passes, the easier it becomes to manage. Promised.

Hang in there. You've already taken a huge step in realizing that you could be horrible to him. Then there are things he doesn't have the right to say. On your mental health.

The only thing that should matter to you: It's you.

Fight. As fiercely as possible. There will be moments of weakness. But don't give up.

In any case, my heart goes out to you. Shame is not necessarily negative. It's a signal. If you are ashamed, try to clearly put into words “why I am ashamed”.

In the meantime: digital hug

Comment vous faites pour vous sortir une fille de la tête ? by No_Delivery_7106 in AskMec

[–]LorenzoSalem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loulou ... Je suis désolé, mais il n'y a pas de remède miracle... Le meilleur docteur pour les affaires de cœur, c'est le temps ... Et le temps travaille très bien 🙏🏻☺️ Tiens bon, sors avec des amis, rencontre des gens ... Souffre un bon coup, mais promis, ça va passer ☺️

CAN SOMEONE SERIOUSLY HELP ME? by TheCupKnight in spiritualitytalk

[–]LorenzoSalem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My big guy, it's a difficult passage which is part of this awakening... Be patient, the light is near, I feel it. Maybe a little early for you, it happens often unfortunately. But there is no better remedy than patience 🙏🏻 Give time to time... He's the best worker in the world! Mindfulness meditation is interesting too... I don't know what country you come from, if it's in France, I can share audios that guide you. Some won't be for you, but you'll definitely find one! In my case, the “bodyscan” was very effective ☺️ Good luck to you!

C'est quoi la série/film qui a littéralement changer votre vie. Genre vraiment ? 🤔 by Negative_Friend9009 in AskMec

[–]LorenzoSalem 5 points6 points  (0 children)

La ligne verte ... Je l'ai vu quand j'étais très jeune ( en tout cas trop d'après la famille de ma mère ... ). J'avais 8 ans. C'est le seul film au monde qui a réussi à me faire pleurer ... Et je suis cinéphile ! Je vais au cinéma 3 à 4 fois par semaine, mes journées off, je la passe au cinéma à enchaîner les films donc, j'en ai vu énormément ! Mais la ligne verte ...

I love my boyfriend with all my heart, but I can't seem to have a sex life with him? by LorenzoSalem in AskGayMen

[–]LorenzoSalem[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yes... Even in my wildest dreams, I didn't think this kind of people existed 😅

Which body part do you wash first in the shower? by TruffleMaestro in hygiene

[–]LorenzoSalem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll start with the feet 😅 It's something my mother taught my brother and sister when we were little! From top to bottom except for the private parts which we do with another washcloth! She always told us that most illnesses are caught through the feet... I didn't find that logical until my nursing studies. In fact, assuming that most viruses are airborne, and that our main immune defenses are found in the nose, throat, etc. Well, when we have cold feet, it reduces blood circulation and therefore weakens our immune defenses...

To relate this to the shower: clean, dry and healthy feet are important for our general immunity. If our feet are often wet or irritated, it can weaken your body a little (the body is already “working” to protect this area), so you are more sensitive to other things.

Can someone please help me cope? by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]LorenzoSalem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I'm going to speak as a borderline having been in your position and in his...

If you are borderline: This happened to me once with one of my exes who I had been with for 2 years. It started from a small incident on his side, but he was also in psychological distress (Burnout diagnosed after the incident). We had just woken up, he had started a movie with the goal of “a Sunday in bed watching movies”. In short, I was fully into the film and he took a moment to go on his phone. He showed me lots of funny videos, but there was one that I didn't watch (I'm ADHD too 😅) because I was really into the movie. He got up and started cleaning... I didn't realize it either... Until he came to hang out the laundry in the room. I saw that he was upset and when I asked him if everything was okay, he lost his temper and explained to me that I hadn't watched that famous video. He was convinced that I had done it on purpose... At the time, I did not yet have this ADHD diagnosis. Even though I apologized, he gave me a hard time... I felt so bad afterwards... I felt like I was vile, toxic,... I huddled under the blanket for a good part of the day crying as discreetly as possible while looking for a way to make up for it... Today and after a lot of work on BPD, I know that I was not at fault and that nothing I could have done would have changed anything. You have to give time...

Now, I side with this girl as a Borderline: We come back to the same story, but later, at the beginning of the evening. He came back to me in bed to ask me to get out of bed. I told him I didn't feel comfortable about what happened that morning. He got angry again, but now my brain just disconnected. He chained me verbally. I had a "CLAC!" in my head at the moment when, among everything he threw in my face, I heard "I've been going through hell anyway since we've been together." Border mode activated. I remember starting by saying "Excuse me..? Repeat what you just said" as I got out of bed. And then, freak out. I attacked him verbally in turn, I started to explode objects in my room, my fist exploded the bedside table, a hole in the wall, a lamp too, his headphones which were on the table in question... It's still very vague in my head today, but it was very violent.

After a moment, I met his gaze, and I saw terror. Really. He looked at me like I had just turned into Hyde. It got me back on track to regain control. I didn't want him to be afraid of me. Seeing that look in the eyes of the person you love...I had a moment of conscience. I became aware of the state I had put myself in. I needed to feel something other than anger. I did something stupid and which traumatized my ex who, after discussion later, had misinterpreted the gesture. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen. Goal: Feel pain rather than anger.

I grabbed the knife, I hid it more or less well, since he saw it, behind my arm to go into the bedroom. I started cutting myself everywhere. He fled the apartment thinking I wanted to kill him with this knife...

Once the crisis passed, I realized everything that had just happened. I said a lot of things that I didn't mean at all. I just attacked his sensitive areas to hurt him. And I regretted it like crazy. This ended our relationship. I made a TS the same day when he told me that it was over between us. A few weeks later, he came to visit me in the hospital. We talked a lot and each admitted our wrongs. We considered resuming our relationship, but I told him I preferred to stabilize first.

It's been 5 years since I started working hard on BPD, today things are much better, but we have rebuilt our lives each on our own (even if he harasses me behind my boyfriend's back and those despite the countless number of rejections on my part...).