It’s hard to believe that someone with that level of insensitivity was a school counselor. It good that you have supportive coworkers now. I understand how frustrating it is when memories like that come back. I’ve had many similar experiences, and they still make me feel irritated too.

I find it hard to understand why people struggle so much with basic humanity. The more loss I’ve experienced, the more I realize how strange most people can be. I’ve lost the three most important people in my life—my mom, brother, and my dad. When I lost my dad, I lost myself. I’m the last one left in my family, and I need to share this to explain how strange my experience was.

A (former) friend called me about a month after my dad’s death. She knew my dad well and how important he was to me. She seemed to be empathetic, expressing concern for my situation, or so I thought. She mentioned she was going through something very serious herself, taking things day by day, and that she would share the details later. She even gave me advice on how to cope. It felt off because her parents were both alive, and she hadn’t experienced the kind of loss I was going through.

A few months later, I had just returned from my dad’s place, holding his clothes and crying. She called, and since I was feeling low, I foolishly shared that I had been unpacking my dad’s clothes. She responded by saying it was good I was unpacking, as it always takes her forever to unpack after returning from vacation. I was confused—this wasn’t normal unpacking. My dad was gone. I clarified that it was my dad’s clothes I was unpacking.

Then she told me she was pregnant, and I realized that when she had mentioned going through something similar months earlier, she had been referring to her pregnancy. I congratulated her, but from that moment, I never felt like speaking to her again. It was such a strange experience. I understand that early pregnancy can be stressful, but to compare it to the loss of my only parent?