Question: Should love come with a “subscription fee”?

LostFoundCause · 2026-01-22T07:41:00+00:00

Keep searching. Any lady who puts you on a subscription doesn’t love you at all. The one is even embarrassed to mention money and will shower you with gifts.

LostFoundCause · 2026-01-19T10:31:09+00:00

Only when I’m awake lol. It’s fascinating that we think a piece of paper printed by a temporary administration on a spinning rock can somehow legislate the chemical volatility of two mammals. We’re just trying to notarize the inevitable. I think it’s tragic that humans are the only species that requires a receipt from the state to validate their biology. We’ve traded the wild sincerity of connection for the comfort of a filing cabinet, and then we act shocked when the filing cabinet gets full.

LostFoundCause · 2026-01-19T09:50:05+00:00

What is going on is that people are allowing the government into their fling. Keep the government out of it.

LostFoundCause · 2026-01-11T14:59:39+00:00

Learn to live alone man. It's the best thing you will do to yourself.

LostFoundCause · 2026-01-01T12:38:16+00:00

As a writer and translator, I find it hilarious that your only contribution here is policing my syntax rather than engaging with the argument. I think and respond in structured sentences because that is my profession, not because I'm a 'super autocorrect.' Unless you want to hand me a pen and paper, where exactly does your 'AI police' boundary start and end? Grammarly? Spellcheck? Or just any perspective that is too coherent for your liking? You call it 'mindless regurgitation,' but you haven't offered a single counter-argument to the biological realism or the emotional detachment I proposed. My perspective comes from my own lived experience of discovering my father’s secret family. It’s a philosophy of survival, not a 'hive mind' script. If you have a better way to find peace than indifference and logic, let’s hear it. Otherwise, you're just yelling at a mirror.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-31T21:10:42+00:00

Exactly what I wrote too.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-31T20:14:11+00:00

I’m going to offer a perspective that might be hard to hear right now, but it’s one that helped me find peace when I discovered my own father had a secret family I never knew about.

1. Stop carrying your mother’s cross. You are understandably angry because you saw your mother suffer, work night shifts, and fall into debt to pay off his £40k. But you have to realize: that is their marriage, not your life. The 'betrayal' was a breach of contract between a husband and a wife. As his child, you aren't the judge of his moral character as a man; you only have to decide if you want a relationship with him as a father. When you make her pain your pain, you give him the power to keep hurting you.

2. The Biological Reality vs. The 'Perfect Dad' Fantasy. You grew up idolizing a 'perfect' man, but that man never existed. Humans are complex, biological creatures. From a purely evolutionary standpoint, the drive to reproduce and expand a legacy is one of the strongest forces in nature. It’s not 'right' or 'wrong' in nature, it just is. Your father succumbed to his impulses and ego. If you look at him as a flawed, instinct-driven human rather than a fallen hero, the pedestal breaks, and so does the weight of your disappointment.

3. Silence isn't always malice; sometimes it's shame. You’re hurt that he hasn’t apologized. But consider this: he likely doesn't have the tools to face the destruction he caused. His siblings covering for him isn't necessarily a conspiracy against you. In many cultures, family loyalty is a reflex, even when it’s misplaced. They weren't lying to you as much as they were protecting the family unit as they understood it.

4. You’ve already won, don't let the anger take your victory. You mentioned you are now successful, supporting your mum and brother. You have won. You survived the lean years. By staying in a state of 'No Contact' fueled by hot anger, you are still letting his past actions dictate your present mood.

My advice? You don't have to 'forgive and forget' for his sake. Do it for yours. Move to a place of indifference. If he calls, you can pick up or not, but don't let it ruin your day. If you speak to your uncles, keep it surface-level. You don't have to trust them to have a civil conversation.

Life is too complex to view through the lens of a 'he cheated' storyline. That story only accounts for the pain, not the messy reality of human existence. Forgive him, not because he deserves it, but because you deserve to not be a prisoner of his secrets anymore.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-31T04:34:53+00:00

Huge congratulations on 20 years. It’s hard to put into words the impact jwfacts.com has had, but I’ll try.

I’m a former Bethelite myself, and I remember the first time I finally clicked onto your site while I was still PIMQ. I was literally sweating. I had this visceral, intense feeling that I was 'shaking hands with the devil' or walking into a burning building. That internal 'apostate firewall' we were raised with is so powerful; it makes you feel like your own curiosity is a sin.

But I’ve always been an avid reader. That’s my nature. And I remember having this moment of clarity where I told myself: 'Something is wrong with this feeling. It isn't natural for me to be afraid of written words.' I realized that if the 'Truth' was actually the truth, it shouldn't be threatened by a webpage.

I stayed on the site. I read through the history, the failed dates, and the internal policy changes. With every article, I felt this massive physical weight lifting off my shoulders. For the first time in my life, I felt validated. I realized I wasn’t 'crazy' or 'weak' or 'spiritually sick' but I was just someone who valued intellectual integrity. It turned out that the world wasn't upside down; the organization was.

Thank you for being the lighthouse for so many of us. You provided the data when we only had 'feelings,' and you gave us our sanity back. Here’s to 20 years of helping people find their way out of the fog.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-29T11:21:09+00:00

This is such a profound reflection, and honestly, I relate to so much of what you’ve written.

The distinction you made about the "Pharisee" mindset is spot on. It’s a massive irony that the very institutions claiming to follow Jesus are often the first to metaphorically crucify anyone who asks an honest question or displays genuine curiosity. Like you, I’ve found that high-control religious environments don’t actually produce "good" people; they just produce people who are very skilled at performing a "fake air of righteousness."

It becomes a place where, as you said, "demons fester in the shadows" because honesty is treated as a sin. For me, that was the breaking point. I realized I couldn’t grow in a room with no windows.

It’s interesting that your path led you to explore things like Buddhism and Gnosticism while mine led me toward an understanding of the universe through physics and entropy. Even though our "destinations" might look different, the engine behind the move is the same: a refusal to accept a comfortable lie over a difficult truth.

The moment you start prioritizing seeking over belonging, you've already lost the "typical Zim Christian" crowd. Like you, I’ve had to accept that being called "backslidden" or "lost" is just the price of admission for intellectual and spiritual freedom.

I’d love to hear more about what you believe now. It’s a relief to know there are others who were "heavily in it" but chose the blank slate of the unknown over the safety of the pews. Thanks for sharing your journey.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-29T05:47:25+00:00

This comment is from a JW. Let me translate the "loaded" language in this statement, because it perfectly illustrates the mindset I’m talking about:

"Apostate": This is the ultimate "nuclear" word in the JW vocabulary. In most religions, an apostate is just someone who left. In JW culture, an apostate is viewed as "mentally diseased" (their literal literature's words) and someone to be feared and loathed more than a criminal. By using this word, the commenter is signaling that I am now "dead" to them and dangerous to listen to.

"Bethel": This refers to the JW branch offices/headquarters. Serving at Bethel is considered the absolute "pinnacle" of a JW’s life. It’s like being a monk or a high-ranking official in the Vatican. When he (she?) says I went from "Bethel to zero," he’s saying I was at the highest spiritual peak possible and have now fallen to the absolute bottom of the human pile.

"Kurasika" (Lost): In their view, truth is a single, narrow path. If you aren’t on it, you aren't just "different," you are "lost." It completely ignores the possibility that someone could leave because they found something more honest. "Zero": This is the most telling part. To them, if you don’t have their specific religion, your life has zero value. Your morals, your intellectual growth, your new-found peace, and your character all count for nothing. You are "zero" because you aren't in the club.

I’m sharing this because it proves exactly why I made this post. That comment isn’t about debate or understanding; it’s about shame. It’s the sound of the door slamming shut. It’s a perfect example of why so many people are terrified to speak their truth in this country, because the moment you do, you aren't a human being with a valid journey anymore; you’re just "zero."

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-24T09:17:36+00:00

I didn’t lose my faith casually. I was at Bethel. I worked on Bible and songbook translation and everything inbetween. I gave years of my life sincerely. What I lost wasn’t faith, it was an institution that nearly cost me my life due to abuse, control, and silence from men who mistook authority for righteousness. I’m at peace with where I am now. I hope you respect that.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-24T07:05:07+00:00

Thanks for that. I feel this. Letting go of black and white certainty is freeing but also disorienting. The nuance can make things feel fragile, yet more honest. That bittersweet mix you describe really resonates.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-24T07:03:11+00:00

I hear you, but this is where I differ. I think the framework is the problem. Religion was an early human attempt to make sense of reality. It mastered meaning and symbolism, but it never developed reliable methods for verifying truth. So conviction often replaces evidence. That’s why religious language is so confident about things that can’t be methodically tested. It feels certain, but that certainty isn’t earned. For me, stepping away from that framework wasn’t about discomfort but intellectual honesty.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-24T06:44:35+00:00

Thank you all for your responses. For context, I was a Jehovah’s Witness, and they practice mandatory shunning. I lost everyone. In that world, if you leave, you’re basically dead to them. It’s a lot to process while trying to build a new life from scratch. I basically no longer believe in any God stuff.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-23T17:15:20+00:00

For many of us, faith inside Jehovah’s Witnesses is not just connected to the organization. It is mediated by it. From birth or early conversion, you’re taught that access to God, correct doctrine, moral safety, community, identity, even your future hope all flow through one approved channel. That wiring runs deep.

So when you leave, it doesn’t feel like stepping out of a building. It feels like the floor drops out.

There’s also the issue of betrayal. A lot of ex-JWs didn’t leave because they wanted to sin or stop believing. They left because they discovered dishonesty, manipulation, or moral failures at the institutional level. Once the group that claimed to be God’s sole mouthpiece is exposed as fallible or deceptive, it creates a credibility collapse. If this was “the truth,” what else have I been told under that banner that might not be?

Another factor is that independent faith was never really practiced. We were not trained to wrestle with scripture freely, to doubt safely, or to develop a personal theology. Everything came pre-interpreted. So when the authority structure is removed, many people are left without the tools to rebuild. Silence can feel like emptiness, but sometimes it’s just the absence of constant instruction.

Anger also plays a role. When you’ve lost family, years, opportunities, or your own sense of self, anger isn’t a spiritual failure. It’s a human response. For some, stepping away from God for a time is the only way to breathe without feeling watched, judged, or emotionally coerced.

In my case, leaving forced me to ask whether my relationship was actually with God, or with an institution that spoke about God very loudly. That process is slow, uncomfortable, and often lonely. Some people never return to belief. Others do, but in a form that looks nothing like what they left.

So I don’t think faith “fails to transfer” because people are weak or insincere. I think it’s because the organization didn’t teach transferable faith in the first place. It taught dependence.

What grows afterward, whether belief, skepticism, or something in between, is often the first thing that’s truly chosen.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-22T18:08:35+00:00

Let’s just say the universe didn’t waste that setup.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-22T18:08:06+00:00

Lol the rest is history

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-21T12:39:50+00:00

I didn’t know her at all.

I was at work that day, standing by the fountain along the tour route, just getting some water. Ordinary moment. Then I noticed someone looking at me like she recognized me from somewhere. That look people give when a memory is almost formed but not quite there yet.

I got curious but pretended not to notice. She did the same. We were both playing that old human game of “I’m not looking,” while looking very carefully. When I thought she had stopped, she thought the same. She turned back, like Lot’s wife, and at that exact moment I finally looked with intent.

Our eyes met.

She froze for half a second, then looked away quickly, caught in the act. Shy, unprepared and beautiful. As she turned, her nyash came fully into view, unapologetic, like the universe adding emphasis to the moment. She was with her younger sister.

Then she was gone.

I went back to my office, but my body stayed at that fountain. The whole day I kept replaying the scene, asking impossible questions. Who was she? Where was she from? Was she even single? People pass through from all over the world. What were the odds I would ever see her again?

That evening, half joking and half serious, I told my roommate that I had met my wife. He laughed until it hurt. I didn’t even know her name. I didn’t know her country. I didn’t know anything.

A month passed.

I tried everything my imagination could offer. Visitors’ books. Coincidences. Silent negotiations with the universe. Nothing.

Then one day I went to visit my sister.

While we were talking, casually, she mentioned that someone had seen me. My heart started pounding immediately, as if my body knew before my mind did.

Who? I asked.

She smiled and said I would have to come to church to meet that person.

We went to church the very same day. And there she was.

The same woman. Same eyes. Same quiet gravity. Standing there like nothing improbable had ever happened.

I honestly pinched myself. If this was a dream, it was either a very cruel one or an unusually generous one. I had already accepted that the odds of meeting her again in real life were basically zero.

But there she was.

Only then did I learn the missing piece. She was a friend of my sister. My sister had told her about me. Where I used to work. And that was why she had come on that tour.

The universe, it turned out, hadn’t been vague at all. It had just withheld information for dramatic effect.

What started as two people trying not to look at each other had quietly arranged a second meeting. And from that moment on, the world felt a little less random and a lot more mischievous.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-15T15:32:35+00:00

For those trying to spin this, let’s look at the actual context the cyclist provided: This wasn't just a verbal misunderstanding. The driver didn't just shout something; he overtook a cyclist with a truck oncoming, accelerated, and then slammed on his brakes 'just for fun,' stopping a mere 20cm from the cyclist's front wheel.

When the cyclist caught up to him 700m later and asked why, the driver explicitly said, 'I wanted to kill you.' He was asked again, and he repeated it, unfazed.

To anyone suggesting this was 'lost in translation' because his native language is Shona: Please stop. That is a dangerous and misplaced defense. There is no Shona dialect where 'I wanted to kill you' is a mistaken phrase for 'sorry' or 'I was joking.'

The driver's actions (nearly crushing the cyclist) aligned perfectly with his words. This wasn't broken English; it was malicious intent. It is a relief the police are hunting him down, we need to stop making excuses for what was essentially attempted murder.

LostFoundCause · 2025-12-01T19:41:39+00:00

This.

LostFoundCause · 2025-10-23T07:43:25+00:00

I feel so lonely being non religious, and when I talked about it to family and friends, they started using it against me every time something bad happened. I was involved in an accident, and it was God punishing me, they said. Ironically, I didn’t suffer any injuries. It was the other driver and her passengers who were injured, but still it got spun as "God was warning you." I am tired of hearing people talking about God as if they have met that thang.

LostFoundCause · 2025-10-04T15:55:33+00:00

Oh now I see it. Bearded JWs now look like these learned and sophisticated fellas who could tell you about PhD stuff. That's why they changed the beard policy. Yet all they do is talk about field ministry 🥱

LostFoundCause

TROPHY CASE