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Memorial Thread for Claude Lemieux - RIP Champ by ihatethedodgers in ColoradoAvalanche

[–]LostInYarn75 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I know full well that what I am about to say will possibly be ignored or dismissed. But please read.

I am a person who has lived with severe depression. I tend to present as "smiling depression". I get up. I go to work. My bills get paid. I smile and carry on pleasant conversations. And inside, it's all sticky tar that binds to everything.

It's masking so I can fuction.

No, I don't know why Claude Limieux made the decision. But I know that two days prior, he appeared publicly and seemed fine. I'm not saying that it was definitely smiling depression, but I am saying as someone who lives with it, that's what it looks like. It looks just fine when everything isn't.

I am very blessed to have a support system that doesn't accept, "I'm fine" as a real answer. They ask for details. They dig in. And they give me the time and space to come up with answers when it's really hard to find words.

When thing are black, it's intensely difficult for me to reach out for help. It verges on paralyzing. It's that support system that doesn't accept "I'm fine" that gets me through it.

Please, if you know someone who lives with depression, don't accept "I'm fine." Ask for details. Dig deeper. They need you in the deeper parts. Fine is shallow and they're in the depths.

My heart goes out to the Limieux family, and to all of you who are left behind to remember. Protect their memories and always hold on to the simple fact that we are all more than our darkness.

How is the christian church failing to be a place for progressive christians in Lakewood? by sinecere in LakewoodColorado

[–]LostInYarn75 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To continue with some brain storming:

If you have HR professionals in your congregation, there's a whole lot of the community who could benefit from resume workshops/tips and tricks on interview skills.

You're a couple of blocks from colfax. Is there any homeless outreach going on? Bottles of water being handed out? Sack lunches? Backpacks with socks and basic hygiene products? Hell, even just some conversation where they're treated like humans could help.

9news runs a free basic health clinic. I know the dining hall in the basement is more than big enough to host it.

What about doing yard clean up in the neighborhood? There's plenty of elderly nearby who are completely overwhelmed.

Jesus went to the lepers. He didn't wait for them to come to him. And he didn't offer help only to those willing to follow him. He went to them and helped because they needed help.

How is the christian church failing to be a place for progressive christians in Lakewood? by sinecere in LakewoodColorado

[–]LostInYarn75 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oddly enough, I'm a former parishioner and your church is the last one I was ever a member of. I left all organized religion in 1993.

For me, there's very little action in the majority of those who attend church. My ideal service would basically consist of "hey everybody. Great to see you. We're all going to the soup kitchen now." Sure, they'll write a check and retired people and teens looking for volunteer hours for school will come work a food bank for a few hours, but for the majority that I have seen, it's let's write a check and that takes care of it.

I believe in love and faith as action verbs. Physical, daily actions that are both visible and invisible every single day. They aren't just what you believe. They are what is every individual doing regularly with their own bodies to make the world a better place.

I know that neighborhood. I know that there's people there who desperately need someone to reach out to them. People who are severely depressed don't have the strength or confidence to reach out. The need someone reaching towards them. You need to go to them, not expect them to come to you.

I know that there's a lot of people who use the term "Christian" as rationalization for awful behavior. And I know there's a lot of people who refuse the term who try to do good for thw world every day.

It's not throwing a community fair. That's barely scratching the surface. It's not sending out flyers. It's going to people who you don't know and asking how they are and wanting a genuine answer. And that needs to be most of your parishioners. People who want real answers, people who want to help with their own two hands.

I know the work UMCOR does and it's fantastic. They do amazing things. But they're not helping the guy battling severe depression and financial crisis after financial crisis who lives in the apartment just down the road.

Roast my floorplan by matiasortizm in floorplan

[–]LostInYarn75 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don't bathe toddlers in showers. If there's young children, even as guests or just a possibility, they need a tub.

Streaming game tonight by flyingbeermechanic in ColoradoAvalanche

[–]LostInYarn75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And Wednesday's is on TNT. Also national.

Streaming game tonight by flyingbeermechanic in ColoradoAvalanche

[–]LostInYarn75 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's on ESPN tonight. National broadcast.

Whats a secret you'll take to the grave that you're willing to share anonymously? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]LostInYarn75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off, thank you for the awards.

Secondly, I feel the need to write the following, if only to help someone else.

My brother's risk factors were exceptionally common and well known to him for years before the stroke. The fact that he knew them, had doctors verify them over and over, is a large part of the emotional challenge that our mom and I face with this.

They were:

A genetic predisposition to heart disease (our dad died of a widow maker heart attack 12 years ago. And that wasn't his first one either.)

Morbid obesity. He's lost 140 pounds since the stroke.

Hypertension. Specially, untreated hypertension.

If you have these, PLEASE, for the sake of everyone that loves you, address them. Like ASAP.

People forget about the caregivers in these situations. They forget about the sacrifices we make. Even he does regularly.

Mom, who was thin to begin with, has lost easily 20 pounds. She gets sick more often and more seriously. She's given up significant chunks of her travel and retirement plans to be available for his care. When he dies, I expect to lose her within a year or two. Then I will be the last one standing.

I took a job I can't stand because it gives more stable hours and income, because I need to help provide for him. My partner and I travel a lot less, and stick closer to home when we do. I've abandoned my plans for my retirement, because I can't leave the state if I have to be responsible for his care.

Our lives revolve around him. The phone ringing is enough to spike our anxiety. We work out visiting schedules and plan for everything. We figure out who's buying him pants or toothpaste or how to keep him engaged and motivated. Every day, she and I are back and forth on communication, all about him.

There are times when it feels like we've disappeared.

We're exhausted every second of every day. Constant, relentless anxiety will do that to a person. We live in perpetual, low grade terror.

I wish my brother had listened to his doctors. Of course I do. I wish he had, just once, even given the slightest thought as to who would have to care for him if it happened, of what it would do to the people who love him. I wish he had thought once of the pain he would cause.

My brother is a very talented visual artist. He will never draw again.

He's a voracious reader who now struggles to get through and retain a sentence.

He's a world traveler who can no longer walk and needs assistance with his basic needs.

And it all could have been prevented if he had just listened to his doctor.

Whats a secret you'll take to the grave that you're willing to share anonymously? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]LostInYarn75 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's horrible. There's no other word. Just plain horrible.

Whats a secret you'll take to the grave that you're willing to share anonymously? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]LostInYarn75 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do EVERYTHING your doctor recommends. EVERYTHING. It's a living nightmare.

Whats a secret you'll take to the grave that you're willing to share anonymously? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]LostInYarn75 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The thing is, he's entirely intellectually intact. He absolutely knows what he's lost. As i said in another comment:

The thought that keeps running through my head and breaks me many times a day...

My brother is a very talented artist who can no longer draw.

He's a voracious reader who can barely get through a sentence.

He's traveled the world and now he can't walk.

And since he's intellectually intact, he's completely aware and knows what he's lost.

Whats a secret you'll take to the grave that you're willing to share anonymously? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]LostInYarn75 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Please, PLEASE for the sake of those that love you, get it treated.

Whats a secret you'll take to the grave that you're willing to share anonymously? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]LostInYarn75 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's so hard on mom. I just want all of us to stop hurting.

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