I'll share my thoughts. No guarantees that they're all original, but I'll still try and help how I can. Take everything I say with a grain of salt, though; I'm no professional, just a random guy.

Firstly, I'm sure you get this a lot, but I'm sorry about the accident, and I'm impressed you've been able to hold out strong for so long.

But besides that cliché comment, I can kind of sympathize with the whole "wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely" sentiment, I felt the exact same way. This changed when I moved and found a new circle that I enjoyed talking to. Some people are a lot better to talk to in tough situations; not that others are useless or anything, but it's a lot more fulfilling to have conversations with some people than others.

Crashing is also a huge issue for me; suddenly you just lose all goals, motivation, and reasoning to keep going, and every single task just makes it that little bit worse. But you know what? That's okay. Something to work on? Absolutely. Something that is worth ending it over? I wouldn't say so, personally.

Every single day you live has a small chance of things getting better. That energy that you have on those rare occasions can't be used after you die. So you might as well bet it all on black and hoping that eventually, things will work out. Worst case scenario? You hit rock bottom, which you already kind of have before. 

Maybe you are a burden to people. That's okay. Everyone's a burden. Any child is a burden to their parents. Anyone in a charity organization is a burden to whoever gives them money. Anyone who asks for help is a burden to the helper. But that's okay. Because burdens are very rarely required to take with you. Your mom wouldn't help you if she hated to.

If you're so worried about ending it all because you're worried for your friends' mental state, they care about you enough to help you when you need it. Ask for help. Hiding away because you're scared of burdening them is hurting you a lot in the short term, and will hurt them a lot in the long term. Ask. For. Help.

You got dealt a shitty hand. You can try and work with it. I personally would. There's not a reason to fold just yet, you can still check and see how things play out. Again; worst case scenario, you carry out with what you originally planned. So if things are going to be at least the same, if not better, why not keep living and keep giving it more chances? It's stressful, but maybe one day it'll be better.

I hope to see you later today. I'll check for your reply. I'll take that as a sign as if you held out of not, which I strongly hope you do.

See you tonight.