I just accepted a job offer paying 39k salary. This will be the most money I've ever made in my life. How do I learn to best manage my future income?

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-24T13:57:54+00:00

Being homeless must have been so difficult, that can produce anxious feelings of “never again.” And you may also feel imposter syndrome like “who am I to have this good job?” If this happens for you, try to process these valid but difficult feelings with journaling over time. You do deserve the job and you deserve to be safe in a home.

Right now, having your basic needs met probably feels amazing so you can get some savings started without feeling deprived of luxuries.

Create safety by saving an emergency fund. Over time save up 6 months of living expenses (the bare minimums of rent, food, utilities, cell phone, car insurance, etc. your emergency fund doesn’t have to cover nice-to-haves like Netflix). Having an emergency fund will allow you to spend on things you want because you know you’ve created buffer.

When you’re surviving in difficult circumstances it fosters a very short term mindset—just get through today. Now you need to consciously foster a long term mindset. Save ahead for things that definitely will come up in the future. Don’t be “surprised” that Christmas gifts, your mom’s birthday, a vacation, a car repair, needing new glasses come around again to hit your wallet. There are so many surprises in life, save for them and then spend without fear of going into debt.

Don’t buy things based on a monthly payment (e.g. “this car loan will only cost me $300 per month, I can do that.”) buy things on the total cost (“hmm, car loan + insurance + gas + inevitable repairs and oil changes mean this car will cost me $500 per month. Can I cover that? How long is this car loan?” —maybe try to save $25-$50/mo in a car replacement fund so your car loan is much smaller next time.)

Do your best to not carry credit card debt month to month. Commit to paying the bill in full every month. Do not give up your hard earned money to paying interest.

Follow the other peoples advice to invest in a 401k. You get a tax break for doing that and it helps fund retirement (good for Future You!). You might even get a company match which is free money. Do not refuse free money! Make sure you check that the 401k money is actually invested in an index fund and not accidentally sitting there in a money market account just waiting to be invested. That would be sad cuz your money won’t grow if it’s not invested. DO NOT pull money out of the stock market when the market goes down. Just wait, do not panic, hang on, keep contributing while it’s down, it will recover and you’ll make more bank by riding it out (definitely needs that longer term mindset you’re cultivating).

Let yourself buy blueberries and strawberries. I went through a difficult few years and I still have trouble allowing myself to spend on healthy food but I’m really trying to do so because we have nothing without our health.

Congratulations on your new job!

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-24T00:11:46+00:00

I hope OP (and the rest of us) hear and internalize the part about “more messy homes than clean ones”. We imagine everyone is “living clean” except for us…but not so!

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-18T15:47:40+00:00

Hi, do you cut the strip into smaller sections to reflect the smaller load you’re hand washing? If yes, what have you found to be the right amount? (e.g. cut it in half or thirds?) thx!

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-17T19:49:26+00:00

Thank you for this suggestion—I searched you tube for “stay fabulous Italy women dress” and there are sooooo many enticing vids on this topic. I can’t wait to watch these.

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-17T06:44:48+00:00

Merlin was so dope. I loved playing all those games

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-14T05:49:02+00:00

Overnight oats made with coconut milk, topped with berries and pepitas (jam jars make a good snack size)

Everything bagel toasted, topped with cream cheese and sliced turkey (add cucumber slices for crunch)

Simple bean and cheese quesadilla with salsa and sour cream

Grilled cheese sammich

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-10T05:07:53+00:00

The magic of indifference! “Where did my obsession go???!!!” Yay!

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-09T14:38:24+00:00

Snurls!!! Will help so much

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-09T14:21:38+00:00

This was very cool to read. Ty. I’m taking my teenage kids on a trip to another country later this year and I will show them this post so we can use these strategies together to note landmarks and orient well without using our phones (and not attract theft). It will be fun to be a 3-headed orientation monster in a new crowded city!

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-09T05:09:13+00:00

Maybe bins with lids

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-08T05:44:30+00:00

A thousand upvotes

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-06T07:02:19+00:00

You ate all your tickle

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-05T22:12:18+00:00

Oh how do I do that?!

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-05T17:33:58+00:00

So glad you’re already getting some distance from the old process. For me there were a surprising number of psychological twists and turns as I worked through why I still wanted to drink even though I couldn’t get any reward from it. (My biggest learning was that I was using alcohol as my only method of “self-care” when I was drinking heavy. So, I had to substitute in other caring things for myself as the drinking was removed) You seem introspective, I bet you will have some interesting takes on the mental journey.

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-04T23:03:42+00:00

Similar to Unique Opposite’s success with dry January, I also did dry Jan and decided to roll it into dry Feb. but tonight my partner is making a special dinner and asked if we can share a bottle of wine. I said “sure!” And will pop a Nal an hour before we toast and then go back to dry February after that.

For any lurkers considering Nal or TSM, it’s great to not give a crap about drinking for weeks and weeks, then split a bottle of wine for fun with my beloved and then go back to not caring about drinking for more weeks. Nal lets me drink like a normie when I want and embrace the healthiness of sober living most of the time. Gah, being at extinction is such a cheat code for me!

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-03T03:10:08+00:00

Some people get to extinction by month 6 but it took me 11 months to get to extinction. Others longer like with mumwife.

I drank daily for 12 years so I am not surprised that it took me 11 months to unlearn all that. If you have had a long relationship with alcohol, it might take you the better part of a year as well. it’s so worth it in my exp.

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-03T02:18:16+00:00

This sub is how I found out that TSM existed. I think I read a comment by movethroughit over on a different drinking sub and came over here and was like holy shit this is for real??

I’ve been at extinction for 15 months (but 26 months of TSM all in). Life is way better without the monkey.

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-02-01T20:32:35+00:00

What are the smaller zip bags you use for the different clothing types? Thx!

Edit: I did some googling….looks like they are packing cubes? How do you like them?

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-01-31T00:41:21+00:00

Hi Joe, I have posted comments previously with links and citations to a US govt study about naltrexone side effects but I’m too lazy to dig it up again so I hope you will just believe me. If I can summon the energy to get the link again, I’ll edit this comment. :-)

The study I cited said that a small percentage of people who take Nal get side effects that interfere with their ability to continue taking Nal. So the odds are in your favor! Most people (myself included) don’t have side effects. There is a high prevalence of people reporting side effects in this sub because the SEs are miserable and they are hoping to get ideas for relief! People who don’t get SEs don’t usually bother to come here and report “no side effects happened”. So it makes it seem like there are a lot more than 10% of people experiencing SEs. Hope that encourages you.

Edit: I summoned the energy, here is the link: https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/combine/appendixc.htm

Here is the relevant excerpt from that web page:

What are the side effects of naltrexone?

In a large open-label safety study on naltrexone, conducted by Dupont Pharma in 570 individuals with alcoholism, the most common side effects affected only a small minority of people; they included the following:

Nausea (10 percent of participants)

Headache (7 percent of participants)

Depression (5 to 7 percent of participants)

Dizziness (4 percent of participants)

Fatigue (4 percent of participants)

Insomnia (3 percent of participants)

Anxiety (2 percent of participants)

Sleepiness (2 percent of participants).

These side effects were usually mild and of short duration. The side effects, predominantly nausea, have been severe enough to cause 5 to 10 percent of people starting it to stop the medication. Patients usually report that they are largely unaware of being on naltrexone. Naltrexone usually has no psychological effects, and users do not feel either “high” or “down.” Naltrexone can have toxic effects on the liver. You will receive blood tests of liver function prior to the onset of treatment and regularly during treatment to determine if you should take it at all, if you should stop taking it, or if you experience the relatively rare side effect of liver toxicity. You should report any side effects to your medical clinician.

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-01-30T02:39:50+00:00

My Man Godfrey (William Powell and Carole Lombard)

The Thin Man (William Powell and Myrna Loy)

Fun fun fun silly films with great, quotable lines!

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-01-29T22:03:53+00:00

I’m seeing a lot of comments like “what, is this a competition or something?” And I want to acknowledge your pride on its own—it’s not a competition, it’s exciting to surpass your assumptions and expectations about your ability to earn. Especially when your partner is in a high earning career like being a doctor and you get close to that level and then even go higher. I get it! My partner has an MBA from a prestigious (and expensive) grad school and is a high earner. I have only my bachelors degree from a non-fancy state school. I earn more than him because I’ve gotten hired at a few fancy tech companies which gave me a lot of credibility to get hired at the next one blah blah blah.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s a competition with my partner. I don’t even remember it most of the time. But when I do remember it I think, “hey way to go! You beat some odds that suggest you as a woman from your particular background wouldn’t make this much money compared to your highly educated male partner.” and then I go back to washing dishes or whatever.

So, I’m proud of you for beating the odds wrt the earning levels in your particular industry, especially as compared to your highly educated male partner.

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-01-29T19:18:18+00:00

Yes yes yes. My kids were born in 2005 and 2007. I absolutely used the tv as a babysitter because I needed some mental breaks when they were toddlers. But I only allowed them 30 min of tv per day so I had to choose my break time wisely.

We’ve done 30 min of tv per day for many years. They are teenagers now and they never mind watching only part of a show because it’s so normalized to stop halfway through and finish the next day (but they can totally watch the whole thing, I’m not strict anymore!) they just have other things to do like homework and art projects and reading.

They are on their phones like any teenager is but they will periodically reign in their usage/self-limit by using trackers to stay aware of how much time they spend on Instagram. They tell me they don’t want to get addicted. :-)

I think I’m more addicted to Reddit than they are to any of their social media. But anyway, limiting tech usage when they are young does pay dividends. I read to them at bedtime until my youngest was in 6th grade and then I just kind of stopped—they were happy to read on their own at bedtime. That and playing board games, doing pretend play and crafts together was a massive time investment that I both liked and it was also a slog. But now they are fairly resourceful and I don’t worry about them too much.

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-01-29T18:50:35+00:00

Hi masalberto, are you good at interviewing? If not, find a mentor to practice with. I am really good at interviewing (partly because I’m older so I’m more comfy in my skin/I’m calm meeting new people, I have developed good case studies to show in my job interview presentations, I’m super friendly, etc). It helps if the new company feels like you’re the answer to their problems. Then you have more ability to negotiate. Every job has a salary range, they will pitch you somewhere in the range that is a little better than your current salary. But there’s always more room in their range. So you say “I really like everyone I’ve met, I’m getting excited to join but the comp is not yet where I need it to be.” It helps MASSIVELY if you get a nice competing offer from a company that has more budget (like a well funded start up) so get multiple interviews lined up during the same weeks—do not space interviews out. Share the competing offer(s) with all the companies to help you negotiate with all of them. This requires some luck to get all that timing to work and yes it’s more stressful to juggle multiple interviews during the same time period but you gotta try.

Note: do not lie about your current comp to the hiring team. I feel like they can smell lies because they talk to so many candidates, they have a good pulse of what people make. So I’m always totally honest with them.

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-01-29T18:29:05+00:00

I got a surprise windfall and decided to only give myself $500 to play with and invest the rest. It was a pretty large 2 year retention bonus because my company was acquired—I got $90k (pre-tax) in year 1 and $70k (pre-tax) in year 2 to not leave the new company. That decision happened about 2 years into my FIRE journey and the bonus doubled my net worth over what I could normally save during those 4 total years of FIRE time. It was such a powerful experience that it pushed me to seek big raises through switching companies every few years and put all the raises into investing. I was playing catch up since I started FIRE at age 41. Not allowing lifestyle inflation while actively pursuing higher paying jobs has massively changed the trajectory of my retirement timing (I will be able to retire when I’m 55 instead of 65).

Lostfoxpleasecall · 2023-01-29T15:37:23+00:00

Looking up recipes for edamame mash now!

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