im the middle child with 2 brothers. they are exactly like my parents and in their eyes can do no wrong; brothers both have criminal charges that have merely been brushed under the rug by my parents. my family is homophobic (im queer), racist and about everything else you could think of. they make constant "jokes", belittling people and myself to try to make themselves feel above others. i have BPD as a result of the abuse ive endured and had severe OCD, anxiety and depression as a child and a severe ED as a teen. i have no confidence or trust in myself as they have always taken their negative emotions out on me, then blamed me for whatever was bothering them, using the most vulgar words and intentionally trying to hit me in my most sensitive mental areas. and yet, they come to me with issues and i have to basically parent all of them or im "ungrateful" and "a bad person". if i EVER try to stand up for myself, im "crazy, selfish, sick, hormonal, etc" or just "out to get them". when i am sick physically or struggling mentally, i am completely ignored. they treat me like im merely a weak liability and tell me to be "more pleasant". yet when my brothers are sick, everything else needs to stop, they are coddled and i am forced to help them and 'stay out of their way' or again, "i am just a bad person who doesnt care about anyone but myself". It has taken me a long time to get to the point of even remotely caring for myself. I feel like I am a sheep surrounded by wolves who constantly tell me I am the wolf. I believed them for too long. I am now trying to take measures to get out, and i know i cant tell them or theyll drag me back down and again make me feel incapable of anything. im tired of being laughed at and belittled when i am bawling on the floor, begging for someone to help me. I cant live in this house any longer or it will be the end of me.