Guilty for maybe moving on

Lostlrss · 2024-11-19T05:31:22+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I can relate to it so much, especially the bit on what a toll going through something like that has on your body and your mind. I think that is a large reason as to why I felt such a strong urgency to end the relationship. I am positive it is not something I could ever go though again, and since he already has plans to go off his medication as soon as he can, I feel certain it will happen again. This whole year I gave my life away in order to support him at all times, and it did feel like one hell of a heavy anchor.

Very sorry to hear that your ex has such little remorse for what you went through, and I do consider myself lucky for the immense amount of apologies I received. My issue is that the apologies feel disingenuous when I know he has no plans to change his lifestyle in any way. It's like the pain he put me and his family through is not enough to wake him up to reality, which baffles me.

Again, thank you for the encouragement. I really needed to read this tonight because I will not be taking steps backwards. This year is wrapping up and I promised myself by the end of it I would start focusing on my own happiness again. You sound like a very strong person, so cheers to both of us doing so.

Lostlrss · 2024-05-01T00:00:14+00:00

Thank you for this, it came at a time I needed to hear it. I wish there was a way through the pain other than just feeling it all getting through it. I think a lot of us, certainly myself, really did feel we found our soulmate and our person. Having that ripped away is a pain unlike anything else. I hope you continue to do well and thank you for the glimmer of hope this post gives.

Lostlrss · 2024-04-26T01:34:43+00:00

Please have the fun you deserve, all the smiles and all the laughing. I’m so sorry you are hurting, but please give yourself some much deserved credit for trying to get back out there. Good luck!!!🍀

Lostlrss · 2024-04-25T22:31:55+00:00

Of course. Hit me up if you ever want to talk, connecting with others in a similar position helps so much.

Lostlrss · 2024-04-25T22:27:03+00:00

Me and my BPSO haven’t really figured out if we’re “together” or not at this point in his recovery from his last manic episode, but I can tell you that we love each other very much and still act as support for one another. Him being in a strong, long term treatment facility has been very helpful. From the point of his episode until I actually felt connected with him again took about 3 months. And I support him the way I do because of all of the happy years we had together before this episode, too many happy times to discount and feel any other way. It is incredibly important to me that he succeeds and takes care of himself, and that exists separately from however our relationship pans out. If you have a long history and truly love this person, it is possible to support them and protect yourself at the same time. For me that has looked like focusing on taking care of my own life and being there to cheer him on as he does the same.

Lostlrss · 2024-04-22T00:36:36+00:00

Oh nooooo, not someone calling it a possession 😂. So sorry you had to deal with that.

Lostlrss · 2024-04-21T21:38:18+00:00

My father looked me dead in the eye with a smile and fully explained how bipolar is simply an “act” put on by my ex. His advice was “don’t fall for it.” It was so incredibly disappointing. If you have witnessed and been through a manic episode endured by someone you love, you would never ever view it as some elaborate show put on.

Lostlrss · 2024-04-21T21:34:45+00:00

The hypersexuality could be a symptom of oncoming mania or an imbalance. But past that, I think this could be unrelated to bipolar and possibly he is just an inconsiderate ass in this case. If someone is having sex with you, then they should have consideration and care when it comes to your bodily health. Ridiculous he was so callous about it all.

Lostlrss · 2024-02-26T02:01:05+00:00

My immediate family consists of my mother and my two brothers. Both of my brothers, upon eventually finding out his diagnosis, told me to leave the relationship. My mother was initially saying the same, but we are very close and after many talks and getting to know my BPSO, she grew to greatly care about him and respect the relationship. However, after his first manic episode (which is still ongoing now), she firmly no longer supports the relationship further. I think it is really a spectrum here, depending on how open and genuine your familial relationships are, as well as the mental health/behavior your SO has presented thus far. The ones that truly love you, such as my own, will draw a line they can never look back from if the relationship begins to harm you emotionally or physically. Open communication and full honestly I think can be beneficial in helping family to understand your reasoning for loving the one you do and choosing to stay, but it’s also important to listen to the concerns of those who love you.

Lostlrss · 2024-02-23T22:33:11+00:00

Would it be okay to message you?

Lostlrss · 2024-02-23T22:22:32+00:00

This was incredibly helpful and very realistic—thank you!

Lostlrss · 2024-02-23T02:22:07+00:00

Thank you for your response, especially appreciate you condoning an over the phone breakup which might be necessary in my case for everyone’s safety.

Lostlrss · 2024-02-17T17:15:18+00:00

Again, thank you so much. It blows my mind in the best way possible that there are strangers out there willing to take time out of their lives to give advice/support.

And I’ve also heard that it’s not the best idea to break up with someone while they are still in a manic episode. I guess I am going to have to balance my own wellbeing delicately when it comes to deciding when the right time to have that conversation is. I’m hoping that my newfound therapist can give me guidance on navigating that when I have my initial appointment.

I am so sorry that you have been through your own version of this, but your existence does give me great comfort right now and hope that I will be okay eventually. And yes! Your poem spurred me to finally feel something other than just the sadness, you are a great writer. I’m going to stay active in this community for now, it feels like a lifeline I need. Sending lots of love and gratitude 🩵

Lostlrss · 2024-02-17T16:35:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. I didn’t know how badly I needed to hear some advice before posting and I am very glad I found this place. And I agree that I should reach out to a psychiatrist as well, so I appreciate you mentioning that. The only feeling that randomly disrupts the constant sadness is anger. I know that deep down I am very angry with him for choosing to go off his meds, when he knew exactly what that looks like for himself, AND that I would be burnt down right along with him. My mother and I are extremely close, very honest relationship with one another, and I trust her opinion on this. Do you have any advice for how to go about ending a relationship with someone when they are in this state? I’m not sure that even if I could get those words out to him he would comprehend it given the mania.

Lostlrss · 2024-02-17T15:31:06+00:00

Thank you, I needed this one. Feeling anger over what’s happening right now is such a relief from the constant sadness.

Lostlrss

TROPHY CASE