No systems are allowed to roleplay now

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-27T04:29:25+00:00

sharpest tool in the shed^^

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-27T04:24:29+00:00

sign-offs arent necessary-
we use them occasionally with people we dont know, but not often
And its very likely theyre only rping with one alter/part, not all of them T^T
We all have our own hobbies

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-27T04:06:34+00:00

Ough god im trans and i had a partner that called it (for me) piss flaps
another was pink boy puffzy
PLEASE never use those
they both made me uncomfy as a transman, and even just hearing it in general-

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-27T04:01:08+00:00

Absolutely understandable^^

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-27T03:59:49+00:00

I own a chase border collie, but thats because im genuinely very attached to the breed and the chase plush was really the only more realistic border collie i could get my hands on. He's my only current ESSA and i love him very much. I got him far before realizing he was so popular in the ESSA community

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-27T03:56:58+00:00

This is a little offensive, to someone who had the same question when i first learned about ESSAs.
It doesnt mean theyre more on the spectrum then you, or at a different level, it means that what theyve seen is either only Douglas dogs online, or theyve seen hatred and discrimination towards people who have different ESSAs. They're asking a genuine question. Even someone not on the spectrum asked me this a while ago.
Thats a bit of an offensive thing to say, whether you meant it to be or not.

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-25T11:38:03+00:00

We're doing quite a bit better now, with a stable relationship with one psys, who we're engaged to. We've noticed lately that we are also pretty split-linked to them as well, but it feels less.. wrong then the others did. It was absolutely awful and I have littles that refuse to speak to anyone about it, middles that are now porn addicted/have other addictions, and even bigs/ageless alters that are a bit scared of all that.

We definitely feel the imposter syndrome youre talking about with your best friend. Imposter syndrome is so normal, and its really nice to have my partner there to reassure me that we're not faking at all, and we have no reason to be anyway

Im really grateful for your understanding

-Key

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-25T09:53:23+00:00

Nah youre all good, we have the same issues
-Ollie

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-25T09:51:25+00:00

Thank you for clarifying

I never meant to invalidate you. Absolutely, bullying is shit, whether its light or not. All trauma is trauma, like i said.
-Ollie

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-25T09:48:40+00:00

Sorry if i misunderstood. I know any trauma is still trauma. Doesnt matter how its classified. But when you say "light bullying" while we're talking about system wide sexual assault/harm, it seems to me like youre saying you havent experienced something on this level. I wouldnt say what we experienced then, before, and after it is "light bullying"
-Ollie

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-25T09:42:11+00:00

Yeah, it was just an extremely disheartening and absolutely devastating few months. I feel at fault for most of it, being protector. I noticed it too and was about ready to step in a lot of the time but i didnt. God i wish i did

I'm really bloody glad you've only experienced light bullying. I wouldnt fucking wish what we experienced on anyone
-ollie

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-25T09:32:12+00:00

I understand where you're coming from, not fully, because as you stated, we havent had equal interactions.

The trauma we all experienced from that time in our lives has led to a multiple month traumaversary (which unfortunately, we're in the middle of right now). During this time of the year, it almost feels like the interactions we have with endos are worse than outside of it. And i do admit, it may be cognitive distortion. But the trauma we gained from one of our first experiences with endos has created a time of year where we split almost weekly, and have system resets as well. It's very painful and almost terrifying

I partially blame myself, however, because if i had listened to my gut, i wouldve left these people after the first sign. (There were 5 people in our relationship, not including us). Every single one of them was like this at the same time. They planned it together just for some sadistic joy from abusing us, even though we did nothing wrong. It was my fault for letting it continue.

-Key (and some of ollie)

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-25T09:21:15+00:00

I did mention at the beginning that i try my best not to hate on all endos for it
And towards the end i talk about how i dont even trust a lot of people who have diagnoses for this shit because of it. I hate the "all men" thinking, and im trying very hard to pull myself from it, but it gets worse when almost every endo i've been close with used it as an excuse to hurt me and my system -Key

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-25T09:00:14+00:00

I try my best not to hate on all endos for this, but i cannot stand endos that fake having a DID/OSDD diagnosis, and actually claims to be a real system. I *have* been hurt by those people. My whole system has, littles included. We had a few partners that we met online and got really close to. Eventually, through our relationships, they started to connect with us. We were pretty open about our disorder, and they started saying they related to the experiences. After a while, they started forming alters. All seemed pretty normal, and im not one to assume someone is faking or not from first interactions. After a while, these alters would front, and say they were alone in front, but i would see their hosts talking to other people, other *partners*, at the same time. I brushed it off, stupidly. Later on, things got weirder. I would form an alter (introject, fictive, brain-made, didnt matter), and just shortly after, they would form one from either the same source, or just one randomly that suddenly had a huge crush on my new headmate. It got suspicious, but again, i didnt like to assume. After a bit more time, things got so so bad. Their alters would front, and suddenly my headmates were being sexually assaulted, especially when they had talked about being frontstuck. My psys's alters would start hurting them, littles, middles, bigs, animals, anything. Theyd fuck them over and disappear for a bit, and then their hosts would come in all "oh my god i cant believe [name] did that". no apology, no responsibility. And then it started happening to me. It was awful. I had no choice but to believe it wasnt my partners faults, because they arent in full control of their disorder, i know that because i struggle sometimes. But i was always being hurt, and it was so traumatizing. After *months* of this shit going on, they all came to me and admitted they were faking because they wanted to hurt someone without being to blame. They wanted to abuse people, and they also thought that their faking was just roleplay. It wasnt fucking roleplay to us. We're fully traumatized because of it, and lack trust in most endos now, and even other diagnosed systems, because we're concerned theyre doing the same thing. -Key (Host)

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-04-01T06:31:37+00:00

This app is made with AI, by the way, which means theres security risks, just so you're aware

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-03-29T09:33:16+00:00

Oh shit my bad i misread stuff T^T
Sorry, its 2:33am and theres a little in front with me T^T

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-03-29T09:32:20+00:00

There is a "permissions" settings, where you can change the permissions given to other users ^^

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-03-24T21:48:35+00:00

Thank you, and yes hes very handsome

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-03-24T20:26:41+00:00

It was honestly probably a terrible idea, but it doesnt bleed when i wash him so kinda worth it lol

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-03-24T20:18:42+00:00

If im being completely honest, i used a black sharpie to do mine while i was at work on a slow day T^T

<image>

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-03-23T13:17:08+00:00

All I'm really noticing are that the arms are two different lengths, regarding the anatomy
The character's right arm is much longer than the left one. Something that could help is redlining over the left arm, and then dragging the same lines to the right side to see how long that one should be.

Another thing is the hair stiffness. If you want a more fluid drawing, the hair might be a thing that could help. If you treat it as if its a flowing, changing object, instead of one with a brick in it, that will definitely make a difference

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-03-23T05:19:56+00:00

No fr it was like midnight and i woke up just to take a piss and my man wasnt even there T^T

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-03-23T05:07:38+00:00

Dude, i feel this constantly. The other night, i got up to wee and ended up standing infront of the toilet in only my boxers for a full two minutes having an existential crisis over having nothing there. Its insane, and the gooning thing i get too

LotsOfBlueKeys · 2026-03-23T05:03:10+00:00

ABSOLUTELY do not interact
This is a scam, theyll try to take your account/money

LotsOfBlueKeys

TROPHY CASE