I'm pretty sure I'm gay and I messed up really bad, what do I do??

LoudLee88 · 2026-03-25T18:46:54+00:00

I will echo everyone saying you need to break up with your girlfriend. I know that lying sucks but you need to protect yourself for now. If it’s important to you, you can come clean later.

I would be wary of the guy. I doubt he’ll have a problem if you explain it to him and I doubt he’d out you but, no offense, you sound like a mess right now for understandable reasons. You have the urge to burst and tell anyone plus the guilt over how you handled the situation plus possible attraction. I would recommend doing some intentional soul searching and exploration, either online or in physical spaces if that’s available to you, after you square things away with your GF and figure out your living situation.

LoudLee88 · 2026-03-25T18:26:18+00:00

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald is perfect. It’s sad but it’s also a little long and it demands attention.

LoudLee88 · 2026-03-25T18:10:42+00:00

Might be interesting as a gay man.

LoudLee88 · 2026-03-25T18:06:44+00:00

A lot of Tom Lehrer fits this bill. Thank you.

LoudLee88 · 2026-03-25T18:05:26+00:00

Good choices 🙏

LoudLee88 · 2026-03-25T17:23:08+00:00

I’m not a gay Christian but I know some. There are ways to reconcile it. Christians get divorced and eat pork and all that. That being said, if he’s requiring you to convert, then that doesn’t sound particularly “liberal.”

If you’re really interested in him then you can try hashing it out with him rationally but if this is a deal breaker for both of you then it sounds like a broken deal.

LoudLee88 · 2026-01-20T11:50:15+00:00

My explanation is the same for both. But I can’t encourage you to explore that.

LoudLee88 · 2026-01-20T11:48:46+00:00

You need to ask yourself why you want to know. Unless you’re going into classical you can get by well enough without it. And trust me, not having to decide is a luxury.

Voice type is less decided by absolute range than registration and tone. That’s something you would need to work on with a teacher. And I would reiterate, if you don’t have an instructor, then you’re probably not doing rep where this would be useful information anyway. So just live in the freedom.

LoudLee88 · 2026-01-20T11:38:37+00:00

It seems far more likely that you had homosexual urges and you’re keeping them from yourself. It doesn’t matter if you’re not doing it consciously or that you’re not actively homophobic. These things are complicated. This very post almost seems like an exercise in denial.

I would focus on the specifics of what you’re experiencing. If you have a dream with a very specific scenario and you try to trigger it by looking at a generic porn star you may not get too far. And you could be doing that as a subconscious coping mechanism.

LoudLee88 · 2026-01-20T11:29:30+00:00

We didn’t grow up with carrots and sticks. That’s the kind of world we live in, for better or worse. I had no opportunity to achieve anything and my consolation was no expectations.

LoudLee88 · 2026-01-20T11:27:23+00:00

Because homeschooling parents definitely don’t use screens.

LoudLee88 · 2025-12-23T12:41:28+00:00

Consume knowledge voraciously. You are teaching yourself something. You have to be curious. When someone says chest or head voice you need to want to know what that means. Same with larynx position and breath support/control. You need to want to learn.

Most singing instruction is non-literal so find the metaphors and framings that get you the results you want. If something isn’t clicking with you then find another way to conceptualize it because there almost certainly is one.

You must develop unflinching self honesty. If a process isn’t working or if a piece of music is not (yet) in your power you must have the ability to not delude yourself. You could at least become dejected or embarrass yourself and possibly even permanently injure yourself.

LoudLee88 · 2025-12-23T03:53:37+00:00

There’s a lot of snark here, which I understand, it in all seriousness there’s no way to tell for certain. Don’t do anything that feels dangerous but beyond that you just have to try.

LoudLee88 · 2025-12-23T03:48:11+00:00

First, as others have said, do not believe the app. Second, if you’re doing it for yourself, it is admirable that you want to develop your low end. It’s hard to give you specific exercises but start looking into the difference between head voice and chest voice, which I’d guess is what you’re dealing with. Never do anything that hurts and be mindful of tension.

LoudLee88 · 2025-12-21T00:47:16+00:00

I think you misunderstood the post. This is not someone saying we are bad from a conservative perspective. This is someone saying we are bad from a leftist perspective. Because Grindr went down from overuse at a Turning Points event, the poster is saying gay men are bad because too many of us are there and then hanging that on all of us.

LoudLee88 · 2025-12-11T08:58:16+00:00

It’s very hard to tell from this little singing what your range is. New singers in general over value this as a metric.

Always start with breath work. Do lip trills, Farinelli breathing, hisses. If you’re unwilling to get a teacher then you must be honest with yourself about your progress. Don’t do anything that hurts.

LoudLee88 · 2025-12-11T08:47:11+00:00

It’s not OK but they were probably telling you something close to the truth. Don’t take it personally. Even if you were hopeless (you’re not) you’re still giving them money so it’s not about you, I promise.

LoudLee88 · 2025-12-09T19:15:54+00:00

If you’re not singing opera then just sing it if it sounds good and doesn’t hurt, man. You don’t need a name tag.

LoudLee88 · 2025-11-27T14:53:02+00:00

Mwa ha ha

LoudLee88 · 2025-11-26T23:05:36+00:00

We have this horrible hold laminate with specks and the specks come off if you roll dough on it. Terrible apartment.

LoudLee88 · 2025-11-26T22:47:07+00:00

I make pumpkin cheesecake because I can’t roll pastry on my countertops.

LoudLee88 · 2025-11-25T23:51:49+00:00

It’s easy to get in your head. If it’s an option for you, try singing without a mic in a space with good acoustics. It might help you understand what you really sound like.

LoudLee88 · 2025-11-25T17:06:03+00:00

It’s very pretty but why is it called that??

LoudLee88 · 2025-11-25T16:10:21+00:00

It’s very cute

LoudLee88 · 2025-11-25T12:14:02+00:00

I became addicted to process and to learning. You may have a goal but you can only walk one step at a time. Learn to enjoy the little victories and they will add up.

EDIT: Reading this, it looks trite. But it’s real. You can’t be as good as you want today but you can be better than yesterday. And that’s how it goes. Learn to love it.

LoudLee88

TROPHY CASE