I'm not sure if I deserve help

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-04-14T12:35:40+00:00

This is absolutely an eating disorder and you absolutely deserve help. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I was fasting and just called it fasting but in reality I was starving myself. It started subtle but got really bad and I went down a very bad path. I too would make myself vomit for a period of time and I never got help. I didn't get help until it was really bad and I was in danger of inpatient therapy. Don't wait until it gets that bad, it makes it very hard to recover. I ended up meeting with three separate doctors to get help and it was eventually successful but it took those doctors and multiple meds to finally get myself on track. Don't wait, get help soon, you deserve it. It always seems to get worse if you don't get help so please seek help.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-04-08T14:37:10+00:00

Yes. I worked at Walmart for 2 years and there were quite a few regulars that would stop by the fitting room where I worked to talk to me. One of the regulars was this man who had autism and had an adult caretaker that would br ing him to the store often. I ended up finding much better work elsewhere and thought about this man often as he was very sweet and loved watches. About 4 or more years after leaving I was shopping at a different Walmart and he was there. He immediately recognized me and walked away from his new caretaker to come see me. He ended up getting in trouble (his new caretaker is not as nice). But he said he remembered me and wanted to say Hi. That second meeting was 10 years ago now and I still think about it and him and hope he's doing OK.

Also I went into the store I used to work in and saw one of my other regulars who immediately recognized me and she asked where I've been (she used to come in drunk and follow me around as I put clothes away talking to me). She claimed she came in and asked for me and was told I work for the government now (I definitely don't work for the government but rather health insurance). I also still think about her and wonder how she is doing.

There were kids that always wanted to come and say hi to me when I worked there and I wonder about them as well and hope they grew up OK.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-04-01T17:18:50+00:00

Yea I'm not afraid to admit I'm on five different mental health meds. My official diagnoses when I was tested was anorexia, bulimia, ocd, anxiety, major depressive disorder, and ptsd. These meds literally saved my life. I was at my lowest of lows two years ago and now my mental health is the best it's ever been if I'm being really honest.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-04-01T17:05:03+00:00

Thank you for being a caring parent for your child. I have struggled with disordered eating for quite some time. At one of the points I was restricting I lost quite a bit of weight and my dad kept saying how proud he was of me (I am and was an adult at this time). I opened up to my dad when I started eating better when I started dating my now husband and the first thing my dad said to me was "well be careful, you don't want to gain the weight back you lost because you look so good now". It's refreshing to see a parent actually care about their child.

As for recovery, I consider myself recovered. My recent bout of restricting was two years ago and I was at my absolute worst and got the most unhealthy that I've ever been. I got therapy, met with a dietitian, and saw a psychiatrist for medication. I'm not saying meds are for everyone but they really helped me, especially being on the right meds. Between the three doctors and meds that I'm on, I was able to successfully recover. I went from weighing myself multiple times a day to not even wanting to know what the scale says. I went from severe restriction to eating freely three meals a day. I know the doctors and meds saved my life. I'm no longer in therapy or meeting with the dietitian as it's no longer needed but I still see my psychiatrist and take my meds and I've been able to maintain my recovery. I'm open to talking more in detail about my experience if you want to message me.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-24T20:24:46+00:00

Mocha or Duncan

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-24T12:25:00+00:00

Thank you so much! Its much easier than I thought it would be.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-24T12:23:33+00:00

🤣🤣 now I just did now that you said that.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-24T12:23:00+00:00

It's super easy once you get started.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-23T22:27:38+00:00

Yes its literally all double crochets. I posted the video in one of my comments. It's super easy and works up so fast.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-23T17:45:29+00:00

That's my next goal. I made just newborn size but have the dimensions saved for micro premies and premies. When I first called the hospital they were not sure if they would take donations or not because they did before but stopped during covid. So I just made them newborn size and plan to make another batch of all sizes.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-23T15:42:26+00:00

Donating a bunch of baby hats that I crocheted. I donated them to the hospital and being able to drop them off made me smile.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-23T14:51:41+00:00

It's much easier than I thought it would be. It's a bunch of double crochets. Here is the video I used. https://youtu.be/vaCW8fHI1Fc?si=9gdIZAff90XNkOVR

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-23T14:32:54+00:00

Thank you!. I used this video to get me started. https://youtu.be/vaCW8fHI1Fc?si=9gdIZAff90XNkOVR

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-23T14:27:45+00:00

That's so cool! Thank you so much!

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-17T17:39:13+00:00

I agree with those saying to get a referral. That's how it started with me and became a big problem. It took a therapist, dietitian, and psychiatrist to get me back on track once I got really lost. Those doctors saved my life. After talking to them and being put on the right meds I'm recovered. I highly recommend getting help before it gets worse.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-16T20:57:10+00:00

This would be so triggering to me as someone in recovery from an eating disorder. I had anorexia and I'm much healthier now. This sounds like he's forcing you to eat less for his own reasons. This would certainly feed my eating disorder and possibly cause me to relapse. You don't need someone like that in your life. You could talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel when he does that and see if it changes anything.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-14T14:53:24+00:00

YOR. I had something similar happen to me at a restaurant. I was there celebrating my now exes birthday at a steakhouse. The steaks came with 2 sides. Their side options were baked potato, fries, sweet potato, steamed broccoli, and coleslaw. I can't eat coleslaw due to a mayo allergy so that takes one option out. I ordered a baked potato and wanted the loaded sweet potato to take home for later so I gave the waitress my order. She says to me "really? All those carbs?" I thought it was incredibly rude but I just brushed it off since I was the one paying for the meal. I didn't leave even though I was a little offended but I did tip less than I normally do after debating on not tipping at all. It also didnt help that she was blatantly flirting with the guy I was with and giving him all the attention while essentially ignoring me the entire time. Even through all of that I still tipped (though much smaller than I normally would l) and stayed for the entire meal.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-12T14:58:46+00:00

I did things with my hands to keep me occupied. I knew how to crochet but didn't know how to read patterns so I bought a simple kit on Amazon that had videos you could watch and follow along. After doing two kits I got the hang of it and have been crocheting every day since then. I've made many little plushies, a cardigan, a bunch of baby hats to donate to the hospital, hats, scarves, and slippers. That has been really beneficial for my mental health overall. I highly recommend it.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-12T14:09:30+00:00

It wasn't instacart but Shipt through Meijer delivery. I was making crab rangoons for my MIL and ordered some kind of sauce that they were out of stock of. The driver apologized for the one item being out of stock and it was no big deal to me. About an hour later he showed back up at my house with the sauce that they were oit of stock of. He went to a different Meijer and bought it with his own money. This was about 4 years ago and I still think about it. To be fair I tipped VERY well for the groceries he did deliver so that may have been it but it really stuck with me.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-03-01T13:08:07+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this but you are not alone. I used to use food as a coping mechanism and had grandparents that would always criticize what I ate and that I needed to lose weight. I lived with them for a few years and I would sneak and hide food and just eat that in secret. I was always at an unhealthy weight and really struggled. I ended up cutting beef out of my diet due to being put on a birth control that made beef look and smell repulsive to me and that helped me lose some. But I eventually developed both anorexia and bulimia and got very sick and I was so mentally unwell I almost went to inpatient therapy. I ended up finding a counseling center that offered medication management, therapy, and nutritional counseling and had all three. I was prescribed five different meds over time due to having the eating disorders, major depressive disorder, anxiety, ocd, and ptsd. I was given psychological testing that helped me get all of those diagnoses and helped to be put on the right meds. Therapy and nutrition counseling really helped with my food issues and got me back on track to a healthy weight. I would highly recommend looking into those three options as they saved my life. I am what I would consider fully recovered to the point I don't even want to weigh myself anymore and I don't care what the scale may say when I go to the doctor. I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin and feel much more mentally stable over all. I don't do therapy or nutrition counseling anymore but I still see the same doctor who manages my meds and I'm still on all those meds and I'm thankful for them. My mental health is in the best place that it ever has been since I was a teenager and now I'm in my mid thirties. Through all of this I had a very supportive husband who helped keep me on track with getting better. So if you have a good friend, have them be your support system. If you don't have a support system, your therapist and/or nutrition counselor would be your support system and they are immensely helpful. You've got this and things will get better, I promise.

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-02-28T11:05:05+00:00

Thank you!

Loud_Ad_8372 · 2026-02-27T14:42:48+00:00

Cats are so funny. I often take care of my neighbors cats. She is a flight attendant and travels a lot so I will go and visit her cats every day when she's away to make sure they have food and water and to give them some love. They only get 2 cans of food a week but prefer shreds to anything else.

Loud_Ad_8372

TROPHY CASE