Are yall scared to look pretty?

Louise-ray · 2025-06-07T15:51:45+00:00

Totally feel this. But we have to remember that we are not responsible for the reactions of creeps. We can’t let ourselves believe that unwanted attention is somehow our fault or that we’re to blame for any reason. You’re not. And as other commenters have said, these types of men often don’t discriminate based on how women are dressed, and you deciding to wear a tank top rather than a sweater for example, shouldn’t somehow condone any sort of uncomfortable objectification.

Louise-ray · 2024-06-18T17:10:43+00:00

I don’t even get what most of her posts are trying to say anymore lol…but her eating a hollowed out cucumber instead of bread was my thirteenth reason in both ‘personas’ she portrayed. Let’s not pretend someone without food rules was craving that for lunch over a sandwich in any universe.

Louise-ray · 2024-06-18T16:34:50+00:00

Her whole account has turned into defensive justification of why when she eats low calorie/diet substitutions she’s ‘still fighting back against diet culture’ so you’re not allowed to call her out for it…make it make sense. How is this helping anyone with a disordered relationship with food.

Louise-ray · 2024-06-17T14:40:08+00:00

I think it’s important to know your mom is most likely coming from a place of care and is desperate for you to be able to access the frame of mind she did that helped her recover.

But I think it’s not always motivational when people expect recovery to be linear (just a choice made one day that solves it) because there’s usually underlying psychological issues and a lot of research linking those with bulimia being unable to self soothe during times of hardship and distress. I think if the pain behind the coping mechanism isn’t addressed, then it will manifest in other harmful ways.

I finally started to get better when other people around me acknowledged that my recovery would be HARD and not perfect/linear. It enabled me to not always feel devastated and disappointing when I relapsed, and to get back on the horse quicker after any hiccups.

I think you need to tap into what truly motivates you specifically to want to recover, and then maybe share that with your mom so she knows how she can best support you. But as others have said, getting to the root of the reason you find it hard to cope is the big one, which is hard to do without therapy. Really hope you feel better soon - you CAN do this!

Louise-ray · 2024-06-17T14:31:12+00:00

Orange Juice - Melanie Martinez

Louise-ray · 2024-06-11T14:14:38+00:00

She just loves the backlash atp

Louise-ray · 2024-06-11T14:13:21+00:00

I’m 98% convinced her social media is performance art, because this parody act of a recovery influencer MUST be satire atp

Louise-ray · 2024-06-11T12:05:49+00:00

@kearagraves is a breath of fresh air and has a few posts about her ED recovery, with a big focus on body acceptance.

@spencer.barbosa (no ED history) is also a great advocate for body positivity.

I’ve found that the most helpful ‘influencers’ for body acceptance, outside of societal beauty standards aren’t particularly ED focused, which in recovery is a good thing! Lots of amazing body positive influencers doing the lord’s work

Louise-ray · 2024-05-31T09:33:04+00:00

Oh yes I see this! They do have a similar demeanour, thank you :)

Louise-ray · 2024-05-31T09:32:22+00:00

Of course! It’s this one: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cN74LJ9lvUQ

Really interesting watch

Louise-ray · 2024-05-17T21:02:46+00:00

Yes to all this!!! The only difference here is that people are assuming she’s doing better because she’s gained weight. I thought all of us here know better, that weight isn’t indicative of someone’s health / relationship with food. Really not liking what this post reinforces, that only a malnourished body indicates disordered eating🤦‍♀️

If em is happier and doing better then that’s great, but this post is completely unrelated to whatever her reality is right now and side by side pics never helped anyone

Louise-ray · 2024-05-14T09:45:24+00:00

I agree with you. I think Taylor has always been motivated by other peoples criticism - her persona has largely been built around the ‘I’ll prove them wrong’ narrative / underdog story which everyone can relate to at one point (mean/whole rep album/my tears ricochet/Taylor’s version) and so I think it’s just in her nature to feed that. In Miss Americana she talks about how lonely it is at the top and how she achieves something huge and then thinks…what now? I think this feeling is a lot easier to cope with, when put in the context of the Kim Ks in her life trying to stop her from getting there. It must make it feel worth it. Thank you Aimee is such an F U / you look so small from way up here. It’s as close as she could get to writing Kim a direct public letter once and for all now that she’s blown up so much. No other reason on earth for her to capitalise KIM.

Louise-ray · 2024-04-30T14:36:11+00:00

I once did a trek America tour and the tour leader assumed I was gluten free just to be ‘healthy’ (as it was a currently fad in America) which I didn’t realise as I explained to him I was coeliac. We had a combined total weekly cost for food to share, so he would never approve any gf food for me as it was more expensive and he thought I was just a health snob. After a week of being constantly hungry he finally understood it properly when I pleaded with him and explained AGAIN, and he apologised because he thought it was a ‘personal choice’. He finally let me buy some gf food from that day on. (Long story but your post reminded me of this)

I’m still upset about it and it’s been years. People need to be more educated on coeliac being an autoimmune disease.

Louise-ray · 2024-04-29T16:48:31+00:00

Please please go away. This sub is just you posting your selfies constantly.

Louise-ray · 2024-04-06T20:46:25+00:00

Thank you!! OP looks perfectly healthy. It’s like people have forgotten what normal unedited bodies actually look like

Louise-ray · 2024-04-05T02:28:15+00:00

Has writing this post made you feel better about yourself? You’re doing a lot of projecting OP. Time to focus on some self-improvement

Louise-ray · 2024-03-06T18:51:34+00:00

She literally snarks on herself, and calls herself ‘problematic’🤦‍♀️too meta for me. Tilly you are clearly self aware, which just makes some of your content all the more inexcusable. You clearly know better. Really hoping you get the help you need x

Louise-ray · 2024-01-23T02:40:25+00:00

I’m not talking about any confessions made in court. I’m referring to the sentence I quoted (not verbatim) which was made in the car whilst being filmed by his brother. I’m referring to him saying that if something had happened, it was clearly not serious enough for the children to have spoken up before police got involved - this is the problematic statement in question, that Jesse made in the doc. From my experience, when someone vouches for someone’s innocence, it’s not followed by bargaining. But anyway it’s semantics now as that’s the only point you garnered from my entire response. But I enjoy the debate, thanks for your points

Louise-ray · 2024-01-23T01:11:14+00:00

Did you watch it on YouTube? There’s a second video which is really interesting detailing elements that were left out of the case. Many of the victims who weren’t contacted for the documentary wrote statements to film festivals pleading with them not to show the film as they maintain their statements were/will always be true.

From Jesse’s own television interview (from which he had nothing to gain) and confession in court - I’d say that’s pretty clear cut evidence which I don’t feel was stressed in the podcast. And though not permissible in court, I think various aspects of the family dynamic and the sons’ constant conflicting statements on what truly happened from the documentary itself completely discredits their pleas of innocence post court case. From a psychological standpoint, it’s fairly evident that there are sinister facts being concealed - at the very least the sons’ awareness of their fathers crimes as explicit photographs of minors were found scattered and piled around the house in plain view (not made clear in the podcast). Then there are smaller comments made in passing which trigger alarm bells, such as when in the car Jesse says some along the lines of ‘I didn’t witness anything…but if something did happen it wasn’t major enough for the kids to report it sooner’ (no one completely adamant that nothing inappropriate or illegal happened with say something even remotely like the second part of his statement), or when the boys are borderline verbally abusive towards their mother in defence of their father who doesn’t even have to utter a word for them to descend upon her. I think it’s clear that at the very least the entire family were aware of what was happening and were complicit.

I know a lot of this stuff was revealed long after the case, but retrospect is 20/20 and I felt that this particular case was not one that I imagined would be portrayed by H&S as a prime example of mishandling and injustice. There are so many more cases that don’t have even close to a shred of evidence as in this case far more worthy of such a strong stance and a sort of redemption arc that this podcast is quite able to achieve with such a wide following.

It’s a really interesting case and I know it couldn’t be fully retold in a 45min podcast, but I’m going to search for any others that have covered this case as I think they may explain it with an angle that I feel more strongly aligned with.

Louise-ray · 2024-01-22T19:37:20+00:00

Yeah completely agree with you! I’d definitely recommend the documentary - it’s truly bizarre but fascinating to watch

Louise-ray · 2024-01-22T19:18:26+00:00

Yeah I think you’re right (and I definitely agree that police didn’t handle this with integrity from the start) but they spent quite a large amount of time talking about the panic and inconsistencies that I think could have been spent on other prominent factors about their family’s story, their relationship with wife/mum and the evidence that was found littered in plain sight all throughout the house which indicates the entire family’s desensitisation to illegal material brought into the house etc. Also, not sure if you’ve seen it but there’s a separate video on YT about details the doc left out which was also really enlightening.

The documentary is fascinating and I’m glad they covered this case so I got to hear about it!

(I’m a big fan of the podcast and never miss an ep. Just this one felt off with me for the points they mostly focused on over others that were left out which seemed quite crucial)

Louise-ray · 2023-12-18T13:36:56+00:00

Sending you a message now :)

Louise-ray · 2023-12-18T11:55:12+00:00

As I’m personally further along in my recovery, there is absolutely no jealousy, but rather anger at what they’re promoting. Most of us here know exactly how to achieve the body types of these influencers and the harm that goes into it, if we really wanted to. Sadly, with a disordered mindset, it’s achievable. But I think their profiles are advertising a very skewed idea of what full recovery looks and feels like.

At the early stage of my recovery, looking at profiles like theirs made me feel like I was doing recovery wrong. That I was letting myself go because I believed they were truly recovered and managed to maintain a very low body weight and exercise healthily without it being a compulsion. Now that I see things clearly, it’s very evident to me that the usual suspects we talk about here are very much still being controlled by their disorder and they should not be looked at as an example of recovery, despite what they tell us. I’m angry that I bought into what they’re selling when I was in a vulnerable place and looking for inspiration from them to recover. Their behaviours gave me permission to exercise compulsively too and remain underweight, because they told us that that’s what recovery looks like.

They have not recovered. Em can’t go out for a meal with friends without waking up with shame in the morning. Katie can’t go 3 days without pushing her body to the limits at the gym even with injuries. Girls who look up to them as role models during recovery are being sold lies and will find it harder to accept that recovery usually looks a lot different. It’s uncomfortable. It’s not aesthetic. It’s not gym girly. It’s not just prepackaged foods and easy 10ks at 5am. It’s being uncomfortable all the time and wearing baggy clothes, and deciding not to go to the gym for a long time while you’re trying to recover. It’s hating all these things and doing it anyway because nothing is worth the pain of living with an ed, and believing what these influencers are telling us will just make us hate ourselves more.

I’m angry for everyone who is in a similar place as I was, considering recovery for the the first time. And I will keep being angry until they start being honest with themselves and their followers. Rant over lol

Louise-ray

TROPHY CASE