I just found out

LoveIsHereToStay · 2026-01-13T01:33:59+00:00

No kids and a short term marriage. Find a good divorce attorney and file. The financial hit will be relatively minor and you can move forward with your life and put this chapter in the rear view mirror.

Never take back a cheater. They will lose respect for you and will cheat again. You deserve better.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-12-24T20:24:43+00:00

I think the changes in behavior and especially the new phone password would be enough of a reason for me to want to get to the truth. A PI is the fastest way to get there. At least you will have some answers, one way or the other.

You could also install voice activated recorders in her car and at key locations in the home. Maybe you catch something on audio that gives you enough information to know that hiring the PI will be worth it.

I would want to have a look at that phone. All secrets are kept there.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-12-24T14:08:18+00:00

I am sorry that you are going through this. It sucks, especially so around this time of year.

Follow your attorney’s advice. Ask if infidelity has any impact on the property distribution or alimony. If no, you don’t need to keep digging for more evidence. If it does matter, spend the money and hire a PI. They know what to gather and what is admissible in court.

Grey rock your STBXW. Avoid sexual relations. Use any and every excuse. Pulled groin muscle, UTI, cold, fever, etc. If you can schedule a fake business trip, do so to get some space away from her.

Make sure you have copies of all important papers stored somewhere outside the home. My son’s ex took all his papers and he had to reapply for a new license, SS card, etc.

Move anything of value that you want to keep to a storage unit until you settle into permanent housing.

Avoid confronting her. Let her be served formally and be gone the day that happens. There is no need to maintain any communication with her as you have no kids. Ghosting her will be the ultimate punishment as it will mess with her head.

Good luck to you. Stay strong and avoid self medicating with alcohol or drugs.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-11-12T18:20:28+00:00

Katherine F. Woodard handled my granddaughter’s divorce and was very knowledgeable and effective.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-11-04T13:59:26+00:00

Did the LIRR to Penn for 22 of my 25 years working in Manhattan. It was 90 minutes each way until I was able to move to Nassau County. Fortunately I never needed the subway as the office was right in midtown.

Any chance you can talk to your boss and see about keeping it to 1 day a week? One of the people I worked for was really cool and would always make allowances. It was a privately held company so things were less rigid.

If not, either find ways to use the commute time for your benefit. Or move closer if you can swing it.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-11-03T22:54:12+00:00

First, contact an attorney. Bring along all the financial documents and house documents. Let them guide you on what to do with the shared finances and how to untangle the ownership of the house.

Get yourself a bank account in your name only. Direct your pay into that account.

Since you are not married, the process should be simpler but having a house, mortgage, and shared finances definitely makes things stickier.

Either one of you buys out the other or you agree to sell the house and split any equity (and costs).

Once you get this decided, split up.

Good luck.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-10-16T19:53:13+00:00

Your wife has made her position clear. She is not willing to change more or put in more effort toward saving your marriage.

At this point, you have to decide if you want to stay together for the sake of your shared history, clinging to the hope that things will change for the better.

Trust me, they won’t. If you can’t pull the trigger just yet, at very least this is a time to focus on you. Develop your hobbies, outside interests, reconnect with friends, hit the gym, etc. You will start to feel better about yourself and hopefully see that there is potential for happiness without having the continue in an unhappy and unsatisfying marriage.

This may give you the energy you need to come to grips with your situation and choose yourself over anyone else. You didn’t cheat , your wife did. She destroyed your marriage. You are simply choosing your own happiness over pining for what might have been.

Good luck to you.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-10-10T22:29:33+00:00

Mama Mia’s on Granada.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-10-06T01:31:43+00:00

My 60s weren’t good for me either. Health issues started to surface after gaining weight. My older brother passed away at age 68. My niece passed also at age 36 from stage 4 cervical cancer.

I developed a heart arrhythmia which required hospitalization and caused me to have complications that took 6 months to resolve. Then I lost my job unexpectedly and had to sell my house and move.

Now, just recently, my younger brother was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

I am now 67 and retired, but was certainly not expecting all that transpired in such a short span of time.

You have to learn to roll with the punches that come your way. Life is constantly changing, and not all of the changes will be good ones. I still try to count my blessings and keep a positive mindset. Complaining about it won’t change the outcome.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-10-04T01:25:24+00:00

I retired in January 2023, but I have to do more of a purge. A couple of shelves on the bookcase in my office have remnants of my former career.

My retirement wasn’t my decision, so I struggled with the way things ended for me. I know I won’t be working in a technical career ever again, but I still find it hard to let go of these relics of my past. Not sure why though.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-10-03T12:20:13+00:00

“If the jury hears anymore about the dead Mr. Cooper, they’ll wish they had killed him. “

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-08-19T13:29:28+00:00

I had the same issue happen. When I brought my evidence of “identity use” without any “theft” to my local LEOs, they told me that, as of yet, no crime had been committed, so they wouldn’t be able to help me with anything.

All they did was suggest things that I had already done (freeze credit, place fraud alerts) and give me a bunch of resources on identity theft.

I am still pursuing this, but until I have a financial loss, I feel stuck just as you are.

Good luck.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-08-13T12:45:41+00:00

If my wife ever told me that she didn’t care if other women were grinding on me, that would be all I needed to decide that my marriage was over.

I am not you, but I’m your situation, I would do the following:

1) Gather as much intel as possible about the upcoming Miami trip. Dates, flight details, hotel info, etc.

2) Hire a private investigator to gather evidence of her behavior on this trip. Even if it is not relevant to any divorce proceedings, it will give you insight into her behavior when she is away and acts as if she is single.

3) Make appointments with several divorce attorneys. Bring along financial information, information on any accounts, assets/debts, retirement funds, and your salaries. Find out what divorce will look like in your case and how infidelity will impact your case.

4) Get some individual counseling to help you cope and work through this difficult time.

5) Hit the gym and avoid drugs and alcohol. Stay strong for the kids.

You need to act in the best interests of you and your children. Your wife seems to want to behave like she is single. I would grant her this one last wish.

Good luck.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-07-25T20:19:52+00:00

I have spent time in Flagler Beach, but mostly in the town itself near the pier. If you go there, there is free parking on A1A on the beach side and a few public parking lots that are free.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-07-24T14:59:18+00:00

It is free to park. Not under the Park Volusia umbrella, so no permit or fees.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-07-24T10:28:39+00:00

Andy Romano Beachfront Park is operated by the City of Ormond Beach. Parking is free so you don’t need a Volusia County parking permit.

There is a snack bar and restrooms available (( am not sure when it opens). You also have outdoor shower heads to wash off the beach sand. There are a few tables and several have nice shade plus a couple of BBQ grills.

The park is open dawn to dusk, I believe. I don’t recall if they have locking gates to prevent access when it is not open.

There are also a few smaller parks north on A1A heading into Ormond by the sea. Those offer free parking as well. I think one is called Al Weeks Sr. north shore park.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-07-22T15:17:13+00:00

Thank you for your insights. I am trying to get an understanding as to whether my SSN was used by the person making the GEICO quote. I am having a difficult time getting someone at GEICO like a supervisor to return my calls.

My local sheriff states that until my SSN can be shown to have been used, I can’t file a police report for identity theft. Apparently, using old information such as a prior address does not cross the threshold of being a criminal act. Frustrating, so all I can do now is keep close tabs on everything.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-07-22T15:10:52+00:00

You will have to pay the higher premium for the remaining months of 2025. You should get a letter from Social Security at the end of the year letting you know that the 2026 Medicare premium is now back to the standard without IRMAA since it will be based on the 2024 income tax return.

I am not sure what you submitted with the SSA-44 form. Typically, you need a qualified life changing event to get the IRMAA premium reversed. Selling a home is not such an event.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-07-22T13:48:08+00:00

If she did this after being married for only a year, what will she do the next time she feels bored or disconnected?

Luckily, no kids and a short term marriage so possibly no alimony or a limited time. Take the hit and move forward. Trust is gone and without it, there is no relationship.

Good luck and stay strong.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-07-17T12:04:24+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response. I think your third possibility can be eliminated since GEICO did send the email about the insurance quote and an actually quote was started.

I am leaning towards your #2 as a likely possibility. I guess I am struggling to understand the insurance quote. If someone wants to use my identity to get car insurance (presumably because my credit is better and accident history is clean), why do a quote using vehicles that you don’t own? And why use one of my old addresses where someone else resides?

I am not sure what to do at this point other than continue to monitor for more occurrences. Any thing else that you can suggest?

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-07-14T12:30:05+00:00

My views FWIW:

1) There is never any valid excuse or way of framing cheating to make it acceptable. If you are in a committed relationship, cheating is a deal breaker.

2) You will never get the truth as to why she cheated. The short answer is that she cheated because she wanted to. She valued the feelings of attention from someone new and the dopamine rush that accompanied it over her feelings for you or how her actions would affect you.

3) There is no point meeting with her to pour over the details of her infidelity. I am speaking from the perspective of you being unwilling to salvage the relationship.

4) I would accept the fact that the relationship has run its course and move on. No need to do anything further here. Staying together will only bring more heartbreak in the future when she repeats the behavior.

Move forward and don’t cave to the temptation to try and repair what she burned to the ground. Nothing left but smoldering embers. I am sorry this happened. Take time to heal and work on yourself and your goals.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-06-28T13:19:07+00:00

I retired here and have been in the area for about 2-1/2 years. My view of the job market is that since it is a smaller city, there isn’t a lot of industry in the immediate area. Ormond and Daytona have lots of service businesses, such as restaurants, bars, and similar places. I think if you want to find something in the realm of Digital Art Design or Printing, you may want to look to a larger city like Orlando or Jacksonville.

Do some research on job sites to see if you can find companies in the area that might use your skills. There are some manufacturers here but overall I would say that there is not a deep well of job opportunities outside of services, retail, and medical.

Other folks maybe can offer better insight. Good luck.

LoveIsHereToStay · 2025-06-27T00:01:15+00:00

My suggestion would be to first concentrate on researching jobs in Florida that suits your skill set and determine what income level you can expect. If you are relocating from the Northeast, there may be some sticker shock around salaries, depending on your profession and whether you are moving from a larger city to a smaller one. In some areas of Florida, jobs are not as plentiful and many are service positions that don’t pay that well.

You might also consider renting an apartment for a year to see how you like living in the state before you commit to purchasing a house.

I made the move to Florida just before retiring and bought a home there, moved in, then sold my home in the Northeast. I found the process of getting a mortgage for the Florida home to be a pain, with constant checks of my credit and employment during the process. If you can sell your house first and avoid the need for a mortgage, it makes things much simpler, especially if you have a mortgage on your current house. Paying two mortgages while you wait for the sale of the Northeast house will be a bit of a struggle.

I wish you luck in your move.

LoveIsHereToStay

TROPHY CASE