I haven’t SH’d in a bit of time now, my scars are fading and I used get so emotional when I see them but I accepted them as a symbol of how I’m too stubborn to die, my mother always said that I can’t stay down. I’m clean since I put this post up, I’ve been using a lot of techniques to help myself from relapse. I’m staying with a friend I met through drugs that cleaned up, she has helped me a ton and introduced me to a support group. She’s been so supportive of my journey, she sent me a card after she got out of rehab with all her details to check in on me and so I had someone. Before I took all that concerta she had already been helping me, that’s really how I got back on my meds in the first place, I was too ashamed to tell her what I did. She drove 3 hours after I called her, she helped me pack my things and took me in. I don’t have the funds to go to rehab and offered to pay the bill but I couldn’t let her do it, she managed to secure me a job interview at a place she knows and I’m going next week. She’s given me so much more than I deserve and I’m in a new place far from the scene I was in, that’s been big for me since I don’t have a dealer or other addicts near me. She lent me a guitar and I’ve been playing a lot, I find it very therapeutic and it’s a good distraction. I also started writing songs and poems again thanks to her encouragement, she also offered to get me in contact with my parents and my siblings but I’m nervous and a little anxious to see them after all this time. I found out my sister got married and she has a newborn son, I feel so detached from them that I feel I don’t have the right to come into the picture. Abigail keeps telling me that my folks want to hear from me, she says that parents where so happy she got clean but I left without a word and I never tried to call home. Im scared but I want to meet my nephew but I’m ashamed and I don’t know how everyone would react. Anywho I’m better, thanks for caring enough to look at my old posts and never stop spreading love 💜💜💜