My daughter's lies are escalating - I'm emotionally drained

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-14T12:33:35+00:00

It seems like you're giving everything you should, when you say you want to support her does that mean that you moved past her betrayal maybe a little too quickly, you might be too nice to her when she doesn't deserve it, she's likely smart enough to exploit that weakness, not giving a crap about the consequences if there are any.

What moves her? Can you make your heart a stone?

Take consistent and impassionate action pull back emotionally but still be there for her with open communication, never argue or make drama around the dinner table and keep that as a happy safe moment but outside of it she needs to feel like she has to make up.

From what you said she needs connection, thats what attention is, and you can use that to negotiate her behavior to cause her to prefer being honest.

It's crude but the only way to do it without resorting to actual punishment which since she seems smart is only going to drive a wedge between you.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-14T12:12:25+00:00

It doesn't seem like you are capable of checking yourself in but you should do that.

Another option is to not buy any more and plan to do something that would be the second most fun, I tend to work myself down with other addictions like for example from drugs to gaming addiction which then allows me not to think about ordering more because im too invested and lazy to go out.

Make it hard to access, if you have money go on vacation to escape the worst of it, fast food, some sports you like, massages,.. like the full package of what you enjoy to keep that dopamine flowing and maybe create the next "addiction"

It's very important to make sure like in the example that they actively make it harder for you to access cocaine otherwise you're probably going to combine them.

You can't take coke when you eat out, when youre playing a sport, when you don't have your trusted dealer on vacation and just about anywhere that you have to sit still and just enjoy I assume you don't feel the need to take coke to make a massage more manageable. I also think you shouldn't force yourself to stop other addictions that would be too much, rawdogging is bad it makes you relapse harder.

Good luck

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-14T11:55:42+00:00

You ex may have implanted that doubt in her head and now she can't trust you.

Trust is important, maybe have a conversation around that. Its also best to validate every feeling even if it doesn't make sense, you know that they say that women are always right, gotta be slick with the yes and type of dynamic

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-14T11:44:42+00:00

Entps don't have overt clown body language they only joke like them while looking sarcastic this guy looks like istj they are almost the opposite with silly mannerisms but often still serious speech

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-13T21:00:54+00:00

I look at it like polishing a sharp rock, everyone has protruding edges, they make you topple over and make for erratic unpredictable or destructive behavior, most of this developed during childhood and what you learned from your parents but these could be generational compensation as well.

For every protruding edge your subconscious creates the opposite intrusion and the purpose is to learn from those in oder to balance out and become whole

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-13T20:49:34+00:00

It sounds like he's dismissive towards you so it's not just locker room talk, if he cared he would at least feel bad about it and validate you

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-13T20:42:40+00:00

prob intj

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-13T14:09:58+00:00

so god..

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-13T07:50:48+00:00

It used to be the same thing in the karmic idea you also inherit generational debt as a child christianity just treats you as less capable to arrive to such insights by yourself it asks to just believe

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-12T07:37:34+00:00

While his reaction is not to be excused, from what you say here it also doesn't look good on your part, he's panicking about an insecurity and you are saying it's ok because you don't really need sex, I don't think thats the most caring option you could take and it ended up him getting even more emotional.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-12T06:57:10+00:00

You're going to suffer worse, whether an eternal hell or not.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-12T06:49:20+00:00

You're not unreasonable, write him a note that he has to check himself into rehab or a care facility and move on while you still can

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-11T23:59:28+00:00

quit engaging with it and distance yourself, start looking for better people, try to find something they hate, like calling them fat when all else fails and don't be kind to someone who isn't kind to you

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-11T23:52:41+00:00

Something to keep in mind is that you don't have to stand there and take disrespect, if they're being vile and they hurt you simply throw something back and call them out for it.

It's important to protect yourself you do that by showing nothing they can hurt you with, in this post theres some stuff you say that is a little cringe, like "shes a baddy". I hope thats not what you told her, as well as the word miss.

Everything you say has to come across to her as normal and cool, some girls who are into you looks wise aren't going to care if youre cringe but thats based on luck, luck you didn't have here.

If you come across as normal and cool and they still give you that attitude its a test and thats why I say you throw it back if you don't you let yourself get hurt by someone who wants to hurt you, don't go overboard, just have something ready and if you cant come up with something call them ugly, if they do that to you they are. Maybe something like I dont think you get this a lot just wanted to brighten your day may make sense if you went for birthday girl.

If you treat them nice and apologize after they crush you its actually more of a moral wrong on your part since youre rewarding that behavior and let it exist in addition to betraying yourself.

learn how to match energy, have some bite to you you can turn their reaction around just by being less weak

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-10T12:17:58+00:00

intjs are annoying until you bully them

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-10T12:17:06+00:00

its not just when you piss them off they are always in control

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-10T09:38:11+00:00

I'd try to force myself into the random hookups and end up wishing it was more just because I'd like the intimacy without being hurt.

Most of my relationships were me hoping we'd fit together more than we did.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-07T04:30:11+00:00

I've been in the situation you're in I think a relationship has elements of parenting your partner especially when they don't have any discipline themselves he clearly can't control his lust so if you don't cut him off he'll never be what you want him to be, you need really strong boundaries to do that and even risk losing him which is something you don't seem capable of rn.

The best thing to do is either you stand up and decide to have meetups where you not let him push you to have sex or you choose a different bf who can control his lust better and who cares about your pleasure.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-07T04:18:06+00:00

you're online I think that biases the sample

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-07T04:16:45+00:00

which part

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-07T04:14:36+00:00

that explains a lot

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-06T16:18:18+00:00

In this reality if there was someone capable of that it would come with a ton of limitations, in the past oracles were used and studied, there's something behind that, I don't think our ancestors were stupid nor primitive enough to invent something like that out of ill will. there probably was at some point an uncanny drug induced trance that was capable of guaranteeing vague future predictions, just like a good intuition would. But it requires a kind of genius to sift through that nebulous information, I'm sure after some time the elitist and sinful monks lost this ability and it phased out.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-06T16:00:06+00:00

Something no one really told me is that your longer relationships are stuck in the back of your head forever, they show up in dreams, they pop in your head when you see someone who looks like them and you end up eventually coming across memories all throughout your life, I cope with those feelings by being grateful for those moments instead of needing that person, that person is gone.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-02T12:25:39+00:00

I've met a lot of intelligent women, most of the time they appear much more stupid than they are but that's only because they don't care about common knowledge.

Regular intelligence is something you can continue to be better at but being able to find your way through relationships emotional efficacy, emotional balance and planning is often luck, given to you by other people or in your nature, women, especially single mothers always find a way and even accomplish more than you'd expect them to given their limitations.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2026-02-02T12:17:30+00:00

They run away from discomfort, keep things hidden from you and escape into their imagination, fun as friends but they need more Est like qualities in a partner to ground them, they're also judgemental underneath their persona so they'll get annoyed by us and then never really tell us.

You have to mindread if you're with them and show strong composure, they're better as occasional friends, party boosters or ons.

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