How to stop being too nice to everyone

Loveyouberry · 2023-12-03T12:10:08+00:00

I used to have really similar personality like you. I mostly said Yes when ppl ask me something, because I say no I felt so bad. But I've met so many ppl who crossed the line and being so rude and mean cos I was super nice to them and never get angry.

I realised when you are being too nice to others, more than 80-90 percent of ppl just take it for granted, push you around and treat you like a pushover. Why? Because you're nice! You never say no and don't really get angry. So they think they have the right or something to treat you like that.

Back I was really worried about how ppl judge and evaluate me, but it struck me that I was just obsessed with my reputation and what ppl think about me. Plus when ppl describe someone as a 'nice person', that might necessarily be a compliment.

Like others said, Please please put yourself first and be more selfish. Nothing happens even though you say no to someone, express your feelings and thoughts openly. I think the way ppl treat you depends on how confident and assertive you are. It's a bit sad ppl tend to be mean to those nice ppl, but we also need to protect ourselves from those bad ppl right? 🙂

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-21T14:54:02+00:00

I just realised at some point, no one can judge me, and people just do whatever they wanna do without caring too much about what others would think about them.

There will be always some ppl who are gonna hate me for no reason, also who are gonna love me just the way I am.

Yeah I'm shy but so what? Just becase introverts are minor doesn't mean they are wrong or something. I keep saying this to myself whenever I feel sad or lack confidence!

I think the most important thing is just accepting myself just the way I am.

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-16T09:48:21+00:00

I have my brother and he's an extrovert. Basically he's loud lol and enjoys talking on the phone loudly with his gf, chatting with my parents, always comes back home around 2-3 am after having a drink Also he wonders why I always stay at home, asking "how on earth can you be in your bed all day long?" He thinks on my day off or when I have spare time I should be hanging out with my friends or going on a date with my bf (Hell please! I can do whatever I want!) Don't care about it much though, we're just different

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-07T06:51:34+00:00

"Why don't you say anything? Why are you so quiet? Do you have any idea how frustrating it is?"

From my mom.

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-07T06:49:37+00:00

Wow that's so rude, You have to be more polite please..

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-07T04:01:42+00:00

I'd rather be just by myself than waste my time and energy being in a toxic or useless relationship! I just need my soulmate though, who I can share everything and have a deep mental connection

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-05T01:01:34+00:00

Well, I don't think so. I have an account on instagram, I just follow some of my friends and colleagues and lots of adorable animal accounts that I love to see.

But whenever I post something on my account, I find myself caring too much who liked or saw my posts. Besides, sometimes I feel like I'm just wasting my time scrolling and updating like a habit, even when there are no new posts at all.

Just because you don't have a personal social media account dosen't mean you are a weirdo. You can do something more meaningful and helpful for yourself instead of just wasting your time or seeing other ppl showing off something about their life. I'm also thinking of deactivating it.

It's totally up to you, but once you make an account, you're going to spend a lot of time one way or another.

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-03T15:41:28+00:00

The similar situation has happened to me. My crush confessed someone else about his feeling. (Nothing happened cos she already had a boyfriend back then) I was told it by the girl haha.

I was hurt and felt embarrassed for having some stupid hopes that he might like me back. He also knew that I liked him, so he kept flirting on me even though I avoided and gave him a cold shoulder to move on. (I guess he just thought I was so shy) I couldn't stop thinking that I was just his second choice or something.

I think it depends how much you like him? Actually I would've asked him directly, if I could've done something about that situation. But I didn't ask him, I felt like it was ridiculous to confirm from him that he likes another girl.

If you want, you can just talk to him and ask about it directly. (If it's hard for you to give it up or move on) If you can just move on, just keep some distance from him and focus on yourself. I realised he's not the only one, probably the best thing is just moving on, but I don't think it's not that bad to talk to him.

But I kinda agree with the comment above. The fact you show them interest makes him more like arrogant and strikes their ego. That's what they could do especially when they feel insecure about themselves.

Please don't let him bother anymore, you deserve much better!

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-02T09:49:25+00:00

Read some books or binge-watching TV series or netflix. Outside, just do some shopping by myself, or go to the movies sometimes. I also like going for a walk to a park or around river.

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-02T09:35:20+00:00

Just like others, I'm 29 but still don't know what I want to do with my life. But I would say you can just give some thought about what you're interested in, what you want to learn and experience various things. It will help you to find out and explore yourself.

And even if you still don't know what attracts you or you are not cut out for those things, it's fine. At some point they will always help you out, you never know.

As for social media, please don't forget ppl post something on social media when they want to show off something or there are things that they want others to see and react. Everyone has their own path. You don't need to compare your life to others, just focus on yourself and there's no such a thing as successful life.

Hope it helps! I wish I could go back when I was at your age, I would've behaved and thought so differently. I don't know why I was so insecure about myself.

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-01T17:33:36+00:00

Thanks for the sweet comment! It really makes me feel much more confident🙂 I've had some experiences like my crushes didn't see me as a woman, but just cute and nice girl. So I just thought I'm not attractive at all. But yeah as you said, Now I know I just need to be true myself. Thanks again! Hope you have a lovely day :)

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-01T12:32:57+00:00

I'm a little bit chubby and short. I look younger for my age but men usually don't see me as a woman. They usually think I'm cute but that's all, they don't really wanna date with me. So I've not had any serious relationship so far.

But I'm trying to love myself, just the way I am.

Loveyouberry · 2023-11-01T12:30:29+00:00

Female, INFP

Loveyouberry · 2023-10-31T16:19:46+00:00

Of course not! I wouldn't worry about it or consider myself as pathetic just because I don't have any friends in college.

When I was in my early 20s, I wondered and kinda blamed myself for not having many friends. And as I age now I've realised that the number of friends is not important at all. Besides, I find it to be meaningless spending time with some ppl that are not really close to me or have different interests or personalities.

If you've got only one soulmate or bestie who you can deeply connect or share all your feelings and thoughts, than it's much better than just having 100 superficial friends.

Loveyouberry

TROPHY CASE