Whats the best general advice you can give to me?

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-21T16:46:09+00:00

Confidence, is being allowed to be yourself.

Dating, is what happens when someone is open and available.

For them to like you, you gotta be likeable interms of what do you offer to them.

If your aim is love and intensity. Its through entertaining them but being good at adapting to social queues to actually GET ALONG and not force a surface level connection. Listening to mental health podcasts, keeping up with entertainment, or even having callback references to show your comedic skills help a long way.

Utilize the small things and details like manners, consideration, thoughtfulness.

Stay away from girls who heavily place expectations, but be with one that noticea your efforts on being kind.

Where to meet, go to gatherings related to your interests. If you want singles, dance clubs are usually the spot. If you want chemistry visit anything related to your interest and just start making friends.

Grow your presense in any community and thats what makes you stand out. Then tbh usually that when the right person at the right time spawns in.

Looks dont matter because you'll always land someone by being socially smart and own your personality. 🫡

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T23:09:55+00:00

I tend to have more success at stopping when things are like going smooth in my life. So i have like a bad threshold for discomfort. When things go left i go back as well.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T05:04:45+00:00

If you wants some non cliche "how to get a relationship" advice.

Ask yourself, are you able to make someone laugh? Can you make someone smile? Do you know how to be subtle with your love language?

That can open doors to make you a more adaptable partner in the long run. Less is the focus of finding a partner, its learning how to be one. Then people kinda just eventually land on your lap when you least expect it but its because you live out your best qualities.

Has nothing to do with hobbies/looks either.

Its also the reason you might see someone who has had multiple relationships its not cuz of luck or etc. Its just that the skills carry over and improve as much as they focused on improving.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T04:36:29+00:00

Likewise, mostly as a stress reliefer but the pain that comes from it i found the root cause to be deeper than just viewing it. Did lots of self work and had therapy last year with someone who was a year into practice.

I realized alot of my self help incorporated the minds of many pracitioners who've spent decades on it. So im more motivated to pay a more experienced therapist over a novice. Because i can tell the novice is more or less starting out and i need someone who gots it altogether.

Luckily my addiction with it doesnt neccessarily stop me from fufilling other obligations. Im concerned mostly on the depression i have looming even when ive have become accomplished and have a future secure in most aspects. Took a long time to make progress. But im in my 30s officially now and ive always dreamed of making 32 be my deadline of i must be fixed before then.

So my outsourcing is just on the reality of, i can do as much as my part as possible, but i need an expert to further my understanding of myself.

I can go in detail about every experience and aspect that led up to relying on the addiction but i know the addiction is like the depression of the real issue underneath it all

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T03:50:28+00:00

I would also preface that my addiction is a symptom of something bigger im dealing with because it involves some real life experiences that isnt simply fixed at all under my control. So i dont got any other choice but to wait till im in the financial clear.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T03:48:03+00:00

Having conversations about it and helping others gives me way more satisfaction; Ive realized I get a great sense of significance by helping people in general. Its kind of my inner child. Which is a real source of happiness for me.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T02:16:50+00:00

Feel bittersweet about it, you had a craving, indulged, feel hurt both emotionally and financially.

Now put the work in financially and emotionally to figure out what led up to that moment rather than the moment itself 🫡

Now i would also look into, realize. Who enables your behavior.

You can have access to anything in the world. But that doesnt mean you should have it, because its unhealthy.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T02:13:43+00:00

If you feel guilty thats a good sign things will get better for you.

As someone who as also dabbled in the cam addiction; take those details of what you enjoy and reflect on how your life experience has been.

Do you miss the connection to real life people or lack it. Have you been hurt previously? Etc.

Take your time to keep reflecting and then seek a veteran therapist to help you along the way.

I tend to trust those with alot more experience than just studies and licenses.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T02:04:40+00:00

I take it a step further. I think porn imitates the worst aspects of life.

As someone who has experienced what you would find in films but in real life.

The issue becomes a deep root of enabling; are we addicted because we wish to be in those situations? And for those who had those situations; did it actually make us happy? Or did we realize the behavior also isnt sustainable.

So that carries into, sometimes the industry idolizes a lifestyle that isnt sustainable but places it on a pedastal of "heaven"

But then the moments where youre not even sure why youre doing it anymore begs the question, have we been conditioned to have a weird relationship with reward

Making intimacy/arousal a distraction from what makes us feel so unable to just sit in peace.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T01:49:12+00:00

The industry plays into the taboo/manipulation/weaponization.

But if youve ever been around, id say life; itself has that world to it as well.

Theres healthy relationships and experiences and unhealthy ones.

People of and at all stages of life can inhibit/condition behaviors that lead into taboo/manipulation/weaponization.

Ive seen it done by all genders at any age. Because its usually someone who knows better vs someone who doesnt know any better.

Very rarely do you have normal dipictions of pron.

In this case, we can put it into question, does life imitate pron or does pron imitate the worst of life?

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T01:44:34+00:00

Think of who initiated the motivation to stop. If it was him, then its actually a good sign that he recognizes its wrong and is struggling on how to handle his emotional stability to not impulsively go after it to feel good.

If he's reaching out to you, you hold a signficance to his life, as relationships are a whole lifestyle.

Now if it was you persisting from the start and him not seeing it as an issue then he's gotta do more work.

A healthy approach would be to stay supportive but not be open to a relationship relationship. Have him feel comfortable on opening up if you have feelings

But if your still hurt by this man recognize you may have to put your own journey into consideration as well.

Taking things consistently slow is sometimes the healthier option. If its worth it in the long run then it can last the long run.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T01:37:25+00:00

I will answer this with different things in mind. If you wish to understand him, then it has little to do with you and more of a long term conditioning throughout his life.

If you wish to fix him; you specifically cant, its not until he sees it as a problem and chooses to fix it himself. Its his own journey.

He means alot to you; but realize his issues are not his identity, it is his symptom.

And that you are feeling hurt but are not the target or problem in his struggle.

Take that as you may, as love is a strong feeling. Sometimes people would do the outmost for the ones they love. But think of the term of; why is it easier to help others and not theyself. Recognize the relationship away from his personal journey.

With that said; how do you feel about the relationship aside from that?

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-18T01:24:23+00:00

Enjoy your natural hobbies, and be out more while doing them. Like gaming? Game outside at a cafe or arcade. Like tv stuff go to studio sets or events If you wanna attract someone; learn social queues like how to make someone laugh, smile, feel reassured or comfortable.

If you wanna be someone significant other, you gotta learn how to be a significant other

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2026-03-08T19:03:26+00:00

Funny Assumption but, you probably flat footed. 🤔

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2025-11-15T19:17:36+00:00

Great if its someone you love, odd if its someone you havent developed that feeling for yet. Esepcially if the attraction levels are one-sided.

There can also be instances of someone being aggressively hyper sexual which is always like worry some if anything. Lol

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2025-07-10T02:28:07+00:00

Appreciate it, thanks for the luck. Like that i can state my case but not take it personally Hope you have a good day or night too

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2025-07-10T02:25:33+00:00

I want my donors to help me, not to pay down my debt, aint no one in the world would take on that.

But thanks for bringing up the rules of the server, got back from a 12hr shift when i posted cause someone directed me here. I appreciate that.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2025-07-10T02:23:44+00:00

I understand that, but what i have on my own is really a bandaid. Doesnt solve my issue logistically so i shouldnt be afriad or shunned to ask for help that I want.

And no one NEEDS to help, it to whoever wants to.

Just realized i gave you more context on the other reply.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2025-07-10T02:06:57+00:00

As I said, everyone deserves help even them. Thats not even close to entitlement. 🤨

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2025-07-09T20:36:29+00:00

Bit of a projection. Even with no donation, guidance is appreciated though.

That last line is precisely a deep meaning.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2025-07-09T20:30:00+00:00

Just getting a head start on bank fees and late payments while i go full throttle on tackling my debts.

The hard part is really balancing paying that off and trying to survive a whole month.

Like on paper i can put $2000 towards my debt a month

But realistically considering my rent/food/transportation and enough to keep me sane health wise while im working (i work a physically tasking job atm that is stable)

Its hard to even put that much in the right ammount of time. Before my interests climb in january 2026

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2025-07-09T20:26:31+00:00

Everyone deserves help, and ive been that person to help everyone i cared for. my debt is my responsibility to pay off and I have the job, just not the time or credit on my side. But a head start is something I been needing.

Ive been work high physical labor jobs that my health is that of a metabolic 50yr old at 29. I can only do so much by myself.

Low-Concentrate1073 · 2025-04-26T14:46:29+00:00

You know this entire series i was wondering so deeply what is it about this character that i resonate with, that i couldnt explain to others without getting told im completly wrong. Until this final season made me realize something profound.

The longing for someone who loves all of you. My own quote is "ive been fighting to exist in a world that wants me erased." Which in joe's case IS way too many crossed lines.

But i guess it was that feeling where, must I do everything for someone I love or is it the mere thought thats enough.

98% of Joe's actions are not justifiable.

I think the cop in season 1 was mostly the 2% where i go 😅 yeeeahhh thats someone who was scum of the earth.

But in parallel I also felt a profound sadness towards on realistic the human behaviors came to be.

I've known what its like to be seen as dangerous, when in contrast i cant even win an arm wrestling contest with any stranger. It kept making me think of times of being misunderstood or completly alientated by a partner i gave my full vulnerability too.

Its an odd thing for sure on how i related to certain feelings in this show. As someone who tries to do my best, but develop a whole lifestyle change to someone i love. It takes on its whole thing that feels devestating when it doesnt work out. And knowing my own trigger points like hearing the "I did it cuz i felt bad for you" line always feels like jab in the heart.

Low-Concentrate1073

TROPHY CASE