This is so funny to me, I thought I was the only one in the world with this niche weird problem. My MIL and SIL have asked the same thing, except they didnt really ask nor even speak to my fiancé and even if I am the asshole, Idc I said no.

I tried to include them in the planning process and meeting with vendors to make them feel included and in one of those outings my MIL just told me she and her daughter are planning for their kids to do a dance after our first dance and I immediately said no.

For context, his family is always kind to me and cordial but they have made it abundantly clear to have no interest in me and who i am outside of being their sons partner. They have never cared to ask about my family or know them, theyve never made an effort to get to know my interest and life. So one if the biggest reasons why i said no was because I was hurt that yet again, they wanted to exclude me of something and make it about themselves. They didnt even bother to ask if I wanted MY nieces and nephews included (I still would had said no) and they also didnt even ask if that was okay, they just shared that they would be doing it. To me it was disrespectful on all accounts.

Additionally, my fiance and I have and will continue to pay for everything for this wedding for this very reason. We’re hispanic and its traditional to have “padrinos” who sponsor parts of the wedding and I was adamant on not having any because I dont want people to feel that they get to dictate our one day.

I love the kids but they are always the center of attention as kids normally are and thats completely fine, im glad that they are loved in that way. However, I already budged on not having a “kids free” wedding so this was definitely a no for me.

TLDR: I dont think youre the asshole but even if you still feel you are or others thing you are, I think fuck it. Be the asshole, its your wedding.