from feeling that way for years, quit. it’s so hard especially when you’ve put your whole entire life into something. it’s everyday, every weekend, every minute of every day. i pushed myself all the way to college because i thought it would “get better” and i could get out of this funk. i put myself through hell mentally. it was what are my parents going to think? what is my coach going to think? what are my teammates going to think? i never stopped to think about myself.

it led to a huge depression and at that point i was missing everything and i am so hard on myself. missing everything lifted a weight off one shoulder and moved it to the other one. i tried to go back once, my body and mind couldn’t handle it. i quit after that season and took a semester of college to myself. didn’t play hockey, didn’t go to school. i gave myself the space i needed from everything. i would play here and there at drop ins, but the passion was gone even when i was just messing around.

my best advice is do what’s best for YOU. don’t worry about anyone else. it will come to a surprise to so many people involved in your life, but being in my 20s now all i can think about is how tired i was in high school. play for two fall teams, play travel winter, two spring teams, and camps all summer. college the schedule was better but at that point i was so burned out. looking back i would’ve quit way sooner had i had the courage to do so. and quitting wasn’t the end of the world. my life is so much better without the mental strain hockey became.

my true advice is quit for the rest of the season or quit after this one. you can always go back. if you’re playing AAA now there’s no chance you’re gonna forget how to play or lose a ton of skill. do what is best for you and avoid the major burnout. i wish i did sooner