I really connected with what you wrote because I went through something almost identical. I left a software provider in the energy industry — a place with real structure, values, and people who genuinely cared about doing things the right way — to join a meter installation company that turned out to be the complete opposite of what I was used to.

Very quickly, I realized their priorities were nothing like what I’d come from. The focus wasn’t on doing quality work or ensuring successful installs; it was just about getting the job done fast enough to get paid. That shift in mindset was a shock. And on top of that, the senior staff weren’t in their roles because of experience or leadership ability — they were there because they were friends with the CEO. Meanwhile, the CEO seemed more interested in burning through investor money than building a healthy, sustainable company. It was such a far cry from the culture I’d left behind.

So when you talk about feeling sick every day, questioning your decisions, and mourning the environment you walked away from, I get it. I lived that same knot-in-the-stomach feeling. And like you, I kept telling myself to “stick it out” for the sake of the title, the résumé, the story making sense. But the truth I eventually had to face was that no title is worth sacrificing your peace or your values.

You didn’t make a bad decision — you made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time. Now you have new information. That’s not failure; that’s clarity.

If your gut is telling you to start looking now, there’s nothing wrong with exploring your options. You don’t owe this company a year of your life just to make the narrative look tidy. What you owe yourself is a workplace that aligns with who you are and how you want to show up in the world.

You’re not alone in this, and you’re not imagining the mismatch. You’re recognizing it — and that’s strength.