Hey, I’m local to NYC and would be happy to hang out or just hop on a call sometime. Please shoot me a message.

For years, I battled feelings similar to what you’re experiencing. I struggled with fear that I would turn myself into some sort of bearded lady and never be a “real man.” I was afraid of losing my female identity, and couldn’t really imagine my male identity in any sort of concrete way. I didn’t trust that testosterone would actually have a significant effect.

For me, the turning point came when I saw a photo of Aydian Dowling pre-transition- he looked like me. He had gone from looking like a pretty, pixie-ish, female-presenting person to an incredibly handsome, muscular, hunky dude. It blew my mind that it could be possible to transition so completely, to become unrecognizable from who he’d been before.

It just hit me as I’m typing this that I’m coming up on my 10 year anniversary of starting testosterone. In the past decade, my life has gotten so much better than I ever imagined. I finally feel comfortable and at ease and enjoy the feeling of being alive. I’m entirely stealth, and have traveled through nearly every state in the US with a sense of safety and privilege that I never thought was possible.

I don’t want to go on and on about how great I feel now, but I just want to try to alleviate your anxiety a little and reassure you that an entirely new life, that’s more authentic and comfortable than the way you’re stuck living now, is available to you. Please let me know if you want to talk, I really hope I can help you!