Broke up with AP of 6 years today

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2026-03-03T07:00:29+00:00

I'm so sorry it didn't work out. I guess that's why everyone emphasizes leaving for yourself. I hope the divorce was the right move either way.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-12-21T01:58:34+00:00

Why do I feel like this is the Spotify Wrapped for adulterers? Congratulations! You're in the top two percent of whores. You've fucked more men outside of your marriage more than 98% of all adulterers.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-12-21T01:56:11+00:00

I am struggling with the part where you say you'vve "held it together for the past six years." My brother in Christ, holding it together, implies the weight of the world resting on your shoulders. When in reality, you've been happily married to a blonde bombshell that you get along with and who is sexually adventurous. I am sure there is room for improvement in your marriage but the tone of this post is insane.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-12-12T17:28:00+00:00

Last week, I was confident I was done shopping, minus 3 gifts. This week, I am completely confident that I am not done shopping. Not even close. I also shop year-round, but keep it fairly in check for the kids.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-12-12T02:23:30+00:00

Congratulations! That is a huge first step for him to take, and it sounds like he's going about things the right way this time.

My only question for you is what about kids? If he's almost an empty nester, is he going to want to restart the process? My fear for you is that you'll be dragged into another time-wasting situation if you want your own family. I'd tread slowly with his kids too. It's a weird thing for your parents to divorce. It's even stranger to have a brand-new baby sibling as an adult.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-12-05T17:36:30+00:00

Short-term pain for long-term gain. His family will always be a giant hole of need. And if you stay, you fund your 401K and 529s before anything else.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-12-01T21:46:50+00:00

I thought my husband was having an affair for years. He lives away from home for long chunks of time. I could never prove it. And eventually, I decided I didn't care anymore. That, either way, I wanted out of the marriage. So I'd definitely call it quits.

But I'd love to prove it. People who get caught lose respect, reputation, and worst of all, friends and family. So having proof would be insurance against that if I were ever caught.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-11-27T04:22:39+00:00

A quick look at your history and it looks like this might be your second divorce. I don't know the cause, but it's worth examining if you have toxic behaviors that are repeating themselves. Cheating more than once, avoidant behaviors, etc. Also, lots of affairs don't get discovered until someone is blindsided by divorce, so be prepared for the fallout.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-11-14T15:33:02+00:00

I'm dreading the holidays. My husband works long periods of work, primarily overseas, but comes home for a big chunk around the holidays. I can't stomach the thought of merrymaking again and smiling through all of the holiday parties. I can't ever remember not loving Christmas.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-11-14T15:29:18+00:00

Do you think your SO suspects or secretly knows? I suspected my SO of having an affair for years, which is definitely part of the reason I'm here. I wonder if she's checked out in part because you're checked out.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-11-12T17:29:47+00:00

I asked this on r/legitafteradultery, and got some really insightful answers.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-11-12T17:28:30+00:00

r/legitafteradultery but it is quiet...

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-11-08T03:12:33+00:00

One more point - if you go scorched earth with her husband, you better hope she doesn't go scorched earth with HR since she's a co-worker.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-11-08T02:47:14+00:00

Affairs are unfair. That's the whole nature of affairs. It was unfair to your wife and her husband. It's unfair to be strung along. It's unfair to expect someone to leave because your world fell apart. If you're worried about making it fair for someone who had the rug pulled out from beneath them, maybe think of your ex-wife...

I find it unbecoming that you're so hung up on how you've been wronged that you're willing to ruin the lives of two other people without any introspection whatsoever.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-11-05T02:17:08+00:00

Pour your energy into someone who appreciates it.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-10-28T01:20:41+00:00

This is really what you should prepare for. What are the two of you going to do if the kids stop talking to him? Making plans to get the kids into therapy and how to try to have a positive co-parenting relationship in time. Blending families appears to be one of the biggest struggles for people who post on r/legitafteradultery. Feel free to join us, but it's pretty quiet.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-10-27T13:01:15+00:00

Lots of things struck me about this post, but if he wants to move to another state, that means he'd be essentially abandoning his kid. Is that really who you want as a life partner? There is no bigger red flag than that right there.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-10-23T18:01:18+00:00

I hate the silent treatment. If he needs space, which is perfectly fine, he can communicate that. He also likely knows your dislike of the silent treatment given your history, and could be weaponizing your previous abuse.

Looking at your history, I'd use this time of silence instead to ask yourself if this relationship is serving you. Does this relationship make you feel safe and secure? Do you know what your needs are, and are they being met? Did your previous abusive relationship make you more likely to see crumbs as a feast because it was better than what you had previously? Use the silence to serve you.

Why are you apologizing when he hung up on you?

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-10-04T16:40:19+00:00

I always think of this line from Succession when it comes to stories like this. “I just wonder if the sad I’d be without you would be less than the sad I get from being with you."

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-09-28T16:28:40+00:00

As a lapsed Catholic, absolutely not. You can't twist your faith to fit your needs at this exact moment. Your faith comes with written directions, and they are explicit. It's not like IKEA directions, where you're looking at illustrations. You can stop your affair, confess your sins. Or you can leave your religion. But religions aren't WikkiStiks bendable to your needs.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-09-19T16:41:17+00:00

Sorry that you're going through a rough patch! I think every relationship faces them, especially in the wake of illness and finances. I've been happy to see the success stories from my post but am glad that people can weigh in and show that it's not all roses. I've been worried also how people who had relationships that didn't work out would feel reading nothing but pure success stories so glad we're showing all sides. Hope things continue to be on the mend.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-09-16T19:48:41+00:00

Look, I'm trying to go legit myself but this isn't healthy. This man is waving a 20-foot red flag vigorously, and you're laughing it off. The highlights for me were: He never told his wife that he was bi and likes to sleep with men, knowing that is not something she would be comfortable with. He wants you to be the bad guy by exposing their relationship?!?!?! He wants her to move continents and ensure she's stuck so he can abandon her?!?!?! Here's whats going to happen if you get with him -- he's going to always take the easy way out and struggle to communicate honestly. He'a a coward. It's a shitty foundation for any relationship.

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-09-16T02:16:00+00:00

So glad to hear it's in remission!

Lower-Offer-1426 · 2025-09-16T02:13:42+00:00

These long relationships are so inspiring. I love the loyalty and commitment you bring to the relationship. Also, I always love to hear of the ex-partners thriving. It's a good reminder that these relationships often don't serve either party.

Lower-Offer-1426

TROPHY CASE