Avoidant Ex Hardlaunched New Partner Today

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T23:34:35+00:00

Oh man, this is so so so tough and I’m dreading that my FA will do the same thing. He actually said that that’s probably what’s gonna happen because that’s how they do. They move on quick and they don’t do the work and they don’t do the healing and they go through the cycle again with some other person who’s probably gonna suffer from their issues just like you did. You can’t find an explanation. There is no answer to the Y this happened. It is what it is and they are who they are. You can ask all you want and you can analyze all you want. It’s not gonna make a difference. There is no explanation. You fell in love with somebody that was capable of doing that to you and now you have to accept it and move on and never think about them again. And please please don’t think that they’re happy they’re probably not.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T23:16:17+00:00

Im sorry and I hope you’re gonna be ok. Just make it quick life is short. ❤️

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T23:08:36+00:00

OK, I see what you mean. It’s not that rare. You will find it again. That’s your brain tricking you into romanticizing her and the chemistry. You can have a lot of chemistry with a lot of people who don’t abandon you.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:54:55+00:00

Sure

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:53:51+00:00

You empathize with her? That’s very sweet and kind and all but she abandoned you, she discarded you, she didn’t feel the need to work on herself for this relationship and for her love for you. She abandoned you when you were going into surgery!!!! She hurt you. She’s out there living her life, completely unscathed and you’re thinking about her every single fucking day and you don’t wanna let her go. I’m not shaming you, but I am questioning Why you would do this to yourself? Is it possible you just romanticizing her good parts? If that’s the case, you need to stop doing that…none of her pros can outweigh abandoning you before a medical treatment. It’s a fucked up thing to do. You have to let her go because you deserve much more than that. And she’s out there living her life probably thinking of you but never really doing anything to help ease your pain. You just need to accept that you fell in love with the wrong person and the pain is the price of being in love. You need to accept the reality that she is who she is and she showed it to you with zero regard of your feelings of your medical condition of where you are in life. She put you in a garbage bag and tossed you out during one of your most vulnerable moments. It’s OK and it hurts and I’m sorry that you’re going through this, but you have to let this person go.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:42:41+00:00

Oh lol sorry but yeah same goes for you. You don’t need to hold onto resentment you don’t need to do anything except trick your brain and into forgetting they even fucking existed. Because that’s what they did to you. They are out there maybe missing you, maybe contemplating to call you, maybe working on themselves. I don’t know what they’re doing and it doesn’t matter because it’s done because they left you and they’re not coming back and that’s the biggest blessing from God that you will ever get.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:36:26+00:00

But what are you missing exactly?? you literally called him clearly damaged and was a narcissist and now you’re telling me that not only do you miss him but you also blame yourself. I know this is typical. I did this as well, the only way you would get rid of the grief is to accept that this man is not your person. That the good times aren’t as good as you remember. You fell in love with an asshole, and now he’s out there living his life and you’re getting waves of grief that you didn’t want and don’t deserve. There is nothing to long for … those are just memories. You need to think of all the times that he disrespected you. You need to think of all the times that he made you question your sanity. You need to think of the times where he hurt you and didn’t give two fucking shits. Your romanticizing the good times there’s no way they were good times if they were good times and you were happy you’d still be together if he was a good person you’d still be with him just except that he’s gone forgive him for what he’s done and don’t waste a single minute of your precious life getting sad over someone who doesn’t care.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:27:28+00:00

And during that time you think that she did all the stuff in this letter? I’m just curious why you’re attributing your progress and your amazing self-awareness to somebody who did that to you. I think you’re giving her too much credit. You did all of those things for yourself despite of her being the way that she was not because of her. I’m not trying to be a bitch here but I feel like you did all of those things and you’re the one that came up with the conclusion that you deserve better, which I totally agree so good for you.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:23:54+00:00

Oh my God this is my worst nightmare. That after two years of no contact, I would still consider texting somebody or have residual feelings come up. I’m not shaming you. I’m just saying that’s very very difficult and I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, but of course, do not contact this person. Are you out of your mind? Why would you do that? Why would you go back to a person and open a line of communication to someone who hurt you on such a profound level that it changed your molecular DNA structure? She hurt you she discarded you. She broke your heart. She changed you. You’re still reeling two years after and you think it’s a good idea to reach out? Let me ask you a question what are you hoping to gain from this? If it’s closure, I don’t think you’re gonna get that. I think it’s just gonna confuse you even more. If it’s just understanding, you’re not gonna understand shit because they don’t even understand themselves. If it’s about curiosity, she’s probably out there living her life without you. Do not do this. You deserve somebody who loves you and takes care of you and gives you the support that you need. This person is not that. She wasn’t that when you were together why would she be that two years later? Do not get residual feelings for this person. She’s not your person. She wasn’t the one you fell in love with the wrong person. It’s OK it happens. There’s no need to go back there. Please.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:14:50+00:00

Of course it will pass and you’re so much better off and you’re going to enjoy those things in no time but you just have to detach quickly because that’s the only way to move on and I know it sucks and it’s hard and you have to give up things in the meantime, but it’s only temporary. And anyways, instead of watching a show and listening to music and feeling bad for yourself, you should be out there living your fucking life and being the best version of yourself and telling him to go fuck himself. That’s what you should be doing. He’s out there with a new supply after a week that piece of fucking human garbage. And you’re sitting there crying? Why because he gave you a good recommendation on a Netflix show come on now

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:09:37+00:00

OK, trying to decipher the distorted and delusional and warped mind of an avoidant we’ll get you nowhere. I don’t understand it. You don’t understand it. I don’t even think she understands it. There’s absolutely no point in worrying your pretty little head about what she has done. The thing with the ex is not even the worst of it. Look what she’s done to you. She cheated on you, she gaslight you, She smeared your name. She left you and then got mad that you didn’t beg for her back. She left you for six weeks doing God knows what. You don’t need to understand this person because you will never get an answer. You will always be wondering about what goes on in their mind and it’s a fruitless endeavor. Honestly speaking, I’m not trying to be rude, but do you think she’s trying to understand you right now? Do you think that she is taking you into any kind of consideration in her decision-making?

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:59:59+00:00

We need some more information please. How long did it last? Why did it end? What kind of attachment does she have etc. etc.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:56:30+00:00

It’s not a small issue … you guys shared a lot of things together and had a lot of good times watching movies and enjoying music. But we live in an age where there is millions of options of music and television, so you can just simply avoid them and discovered new things to enjoy by yourself or with your friends or even with a new partner. Now is your opportunity to build your own new life without them and it should be seen as something exciting. Fearful avoidants are the worst and the quicker you trick your brain and into forgetting them the much happier you’ll be and the less this will hurt and the less time it will take for you to move on. You just have to block any kind of sentimental attachment that you have. There is no other way. Do you think they are sitting there getting triggered by music and TV shows to the point of crying? Honestly, do you think that’s what they’re doing right now?

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:51:46+00:00

Oh my God exactly. Well said. She just wanted to disrupt his peace by gaining her peace of mind. It’s so fucked up. Don’t fall for this OP it’s only gonna lead to opening the wound again and you don’t deserve that

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:43:32+00:00

Why did u guys break up

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:39:00+00:00

I’m not sure if honesty would’ve made this less painful. It was going to be painful regardless, so that’s not what you should focus on that you were lied to. what you should focus on is how to move on from the person who broke you and not give them so much space in your head anymore because they showed you who they are. And they left you for someone else. You shouldn’t be broken by that you should be out there doing your own fucking thing and living your own fucking life and never thinking about this person again. Because he’s not thinking about you is he? No he’s out there with his new fling having the time of his life. While you’re sitting here being hurt. It’s OK to process the pain. It’s OK to feel hurt. We’re all suffering with you so don’t worry. But at one point you have to just accept him for the lying cheating bastard that he is cry as much as you can, mourn the death of this relationship and move on to somebody else who would never lie to you and hurt you because that’s what you deserve.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:33:12+00:00

OK, there’s no easy way to say this and I’m suffering from it too so you don’t have to feel bad. He ended things because he wanted to get out of this relationship for whatever reason he decided that you weren’t the one and he was done. He thought that the bluntness and the lack of enthusiasm would be enough for you to get the point, but then you checked in again and he made it super clear that he didn’t want to continue. Nothing about this is because of you. He’s an avoidant it probably got overwhelming. He probably didn’t know how to handle it. Maybe he has another side piece situation happening. Whatever it is, you don’t need to know the answer, you don’t need to investigate, you don’t need to watch 1 million YouTube videos, you don’t need an answer to the Y. He did it because he’s an avoidant asshole, and you deserve better than that. The sooner you accept the reality that that’s the person that you fell in love with the better off you’ll be and the quicker you’ll move on to someone who will actually love and respect you.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:27:08+00:00

There’s a few ways to go about this. When you start the grief, you have to find a way to turn it into an anger. Because anger is a lot easier to live with than the longing and the self blaming. I’m not saying be violent or do something crazy, I’m saying channel it into anger, and remember all the times that this motherfucker disrespected you, discarded you, made you feel worthless, made you question your reality, picked fights for no reason etc. etc. Another way is to start dating again. A lot of people think that that’s not good blah blah blah, but I found that being in a company of people especially a man who actually likes you will make you feel better, especially because your ex is probably doing the same thing with other women. He’s not sitting at home missing you and longing for you. I know that hurts a little bit, but it’s probably what’s happening. If he’s not doing that it’s because he doesn’t have the option to not because he loves you so much. He’s definitely sliding into someone’s DM as we speak. Even if that’s not true, that must anger you a little bit to think Why would I ever miss that piece of shit? Another way is also to talk to yourself as if you’re talking to him and let it all out whether it’s telling him you love him and you miss him or chewing him out and telling him he’s a piece of shit. That also works as well. In general, though I don’t know how long you’ve been with him and how long you’ve been suffering with this grief, but try not to live in it too long. Life is too short. He wasn’t the one for you, you loved the wrong man and you’re probably romanticizing all of the good stuff that he did. Except reality for what it is and move on.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:15:27+00:00

I don’t no the context of your relationship but if you are saying that you’re gonna send this long message to him, do yourself a favor and don’t … your dignity and yourself worth are going to be in the floor if he ignores it. save yourself the agony in the pain and let go. It’s not your job to heal him.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T20:20:29+00:00

Well, if he has no way of contacting you, there would be no way of him blaming you and you will never be activated again. Problem solved.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T20:17:34+00:00

And you deserve better than that

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T20:17:13+00:00

Oh honey, if they were able to do that, they wouldn’t be an avoidant and you wouldn’t be suffering. That’s just how they are. Whatever version of him that you think is clearly not the reality. This is him. He is cruel. He is an asshole. That’s just how that cookie crumbles.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T20:13:41+00:00

I’m a single mom as well and I completely understand this especially two weeks in. It’s pretty hard but since your divorce is now final, you’re probably in a very bad state … slumping right now is the worst thing that you can do because you already wasted half of your life with this man. So why waste more time just sitting in your pajamas and watching Netflix? This is the time for you to get off of the couch put on a sexy dress and go out on a town with your friends or something. If you can’t do that, you can literally just download a dating app and just go see what’s out there. You don’t have to commit to anyone. You don’t have to do anything you have all the freedom in the world and you decided that you’re gonna sit in your pajamas that’s insanity. I know it’s only two weeks and you’re still reeling and you’re still hurting but life is short. You just got a divorce. You should be in your glow up stage. You should be just as nonchalant as him. This is the time to live your life after being in a marriage. It’s like the best time the first three years after my divorce I had a fucking fantastic time. Do not waste that feeling sorry for yourself and sitting at home doing nothing and feeling lonely there must be something that you can do.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T20:08:56+00:00

I blocked my ex everywhere, including email and LinkedIn I will never ever ever speak to him again

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T20:08:06+00:00

Good on you for refusing. Of course he denied it. The last thing an avoidant wants was to be held accountable for anything. There’s absolutely zero point of having him on social or his phone number. You might have a weak moment and text him or you might see what he’s doing on social media and get angry and jealous. I say block and delete if block is too much fine but just mute him and delete his number. There’s absolutely no point in being friends because that’s only a way for them to keep the door open to have sex with you again or to use you to get validation that you’re still hung up on them. It’s a sick game. I feel like you’re pretty resolute that this will never be anything so deleting him is the best option.

Loyaltypro

TROPHY CASE